


Of One Night Stands And Broken Hearts

by Eternal Scribe (Shadowcat), random_chick



Category: Primeval
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-03
Updated: 2013-06-03
Packaged: 2017-12-13 20:47:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 70,778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/828703
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shadowcat/pseuds/Eternal%20Scribe, https://archiveofourown.org/users/random_chick/pseuds/random_chick
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was supposed to be a one night stand. Abby had gone to the pub overwhelmed with grief over the death of someone she had cared for. A little too much to drink and she was at the flat of the very handsome guy she had been watching all night. The next morning, horrified at the way she had acted, Abby sneaked out of the flat while he was still sleeping. She never forgot that night, but now, four months later she comes face to face with that one night stand. Captain Becker has just been hired to be their head of security at the ARC. Now, thrown together on the same team, they both have to deal with the ramifications of their actions -- and the fact that both of them have been thinking about their one night together ever since it happened.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the anomaly_bigbang @ LJ.

Abby was sure that her face had gone pale as she stared at the new security leader Cutter was introducing to them. She knew him. In fact, she knew parts of him very well. Oh god, what was he doing here? How could this be happening right now?

She watched his face as recognition filled his eyes and then his jaw clenched tightly. It made her feel even worse about the situation.

She tried her best not to let her eyes wander over him, but she couldn't help just one look. He was a lot different when he was wearing all black and a gun. The memory she had of him was different. A lot different.

And with a lot less clothing on, too.

She knew that she was staring at him and swallowed hard as she forced herself to look away, towards Cutter as they were getting briefed on the anomaly at the museum and what they were looking for.

_God, he looked good._

Abby shook her head, turning on her heel to go do what she was needed to do -- track the creature and try to keep it from killing anyone. That would probably be easier than anything else that was going to happen tonight.

 

Becker had only been paying the vaguest bit of attention to the actual introductions, his attention having been focused on the blonde woman. He knew her. He couldn't tell you a damn thing about her at the moment other than what her body felt like beneath his. He tensed, taking a few deep breaths as he watched her. Still every bit as beautiful as she'd been that night months earlier... and still every bit as sad, too.

He was about to speak up when she pivoted and moved off in another direction. That sent a jolt of alarm through him that he forced himself not to think about. He delivered orders to his men sharply before following Abby. She wasn't doing this alone.

He was sure she'd know someone was following her, despite how quietly he was moving. Hopefully she'd assume it was one of the others and not him. He had a feeling she wouldn't take too well to that.

But too bad.

 

Abby heard someone following her but assumed it was Connor. That was a good thing. If it was Connor, she wouldn't have to answer any hard questions. He already knew everything that happened that night when she had been grieving and drank a little too much. She rather hoped it wasn't Cutter who had followed her. Cutter would ask and he would be sad and concerned about what was bothering her.

And then he would feel even more guilty than he already did over what had happened to Stephen.

"What kind of creature do you think we're chasing?" she asked out loud as they moved through the shadows. "I mean, do you think it's one that will try to take a bite out of me if we get too close to it? Because really, I don't fancy becoming a meal for a raptor or anything like -- " She turned to smile at Connor and stumbled. "Oh. You.... you're not Connor."

Oh no. He definitely wasn't Connor as she had never had these kinds of thoughts about Connor.

"No, not Connor," he said, voice quiet. He didn't say anything else because he didn't know what else to say. Any of the thousand questions on his mind were questions not at all appropriate for what they were in the middle of.

He couldn't help looking at her again, in the relative privacy of the shadows. And he couldn't help remembering what she'd felt like under his hands. Couldn't help remembering the cries she'd made as...

He shook his head once, sharply, forcing his attention back to the task at hand.

She took a deep breath, trying to force back the images that seeing him again was causing to rise up in her mind.

"Captain Becker." Her voice was quiet as she spoke his name. "I didn't know you were military."

No, that was one of about a million things she didn't know about him. And one of a million things she had wanted to know -- and still did.

"I knew that Lester was looking for us some more security but..." She swallowed. What was the right conversation to have with the man you had slept with one night and then snuck out long before he woke up -- never to try to contact him again.

"I have the qualifications," he said with a casualness he didn't quite feel. "I'm... sorry, Abby. If I'd known you were here, I..."

He couldn't say he wouldn't have taken the job, because that wasn't true. She would have been _more_ of an incentive to take the job. Because he hadn't been able to get her out of his head.

"... I would've let you know I'd been hired," he finished quietly.

"It's not like I gave you much in the way of reaching me," she said, fighting to hide the regret she felt over that.

Of course, she was glad to see him, glad to know that he was well. And gorgeous, and... She bit down on the inside of her cheek. He must think very badly of her after what she had done. Then another thought crowded in on her. He was there to protect them and keep them safe.

_Stephen had died because he was trying to keep Cutter safe._ It was a fate that she did not want to see happen to Becker.

"Has Lester told you about the things that happen in this job? About the creatures?"

Becker nodded slightly. "He has," he replied. "It's one of the things that most interested me about the job." Because really, who could pass up an opportunity like this?

He cocked his head to the side and looked at her. "How long have you been working for the ARC?" he asked curiously. He knew this was hardly the time to start asking questions, but he couldn't help it. He had to know _something_ about her. Had to have some fact about her to remember that wasn't what her body felt like or what sounds she made or what things she liked doing and having done to her.

"So you know to be careful and don't shoot anything unless there's no choice?" Okay, that wasn't regulations. That was all Abby.

"A little more than two years," she said easily, as they searched for whatever had come out of the anomaly. "Two years and a few months." It sometimes seemed so much longer than that. "Which I guess is good as I was sacked from the job I had before this one."

"How could anybody want to fire you?" he asked, sounding like the idea was completely incomprehensible to him -- and it was. Somehow, in the space of a single night, she'd managed to capture his loyalty on a personal level. Something that hadn't changed even when he'd woken up the next morning to find her gone.

She shrugged. "They were slimming down the department and the weird lizard girl wasn't integral enough. Even when I started taking care of the large predators and the elephants, it still didn't make me irreplaceable." She frowned, tilting her head to listen for a long moment. "Then I met Cutter and that wasn't all that important any longer. I made friends with him and the others and Lester and the Minister started paying us more than the zoo was offering me at the time."

"I'm glad you have a job you love," he said, looking around, focusing on the shadows as they walked. He had to help Abby keep an eye out, plus he was doing his damnedest to make sure this thing didn't get the jump on them. He already cared more than he should considering she was one of his coworkers.

He reached out to grab her arm. "Hold on," he said. "Think I heard something."

When he touched her, it took all of Abby's self-control not to lean into that touch. She knew that he was just doing his job, keeping her safe, and that made it all the more painful. Then there was that whole thing where he had to seriously dislike her after what she had done. She was silent, listening to hear something moving up ahead.

His fingers curled around her wrist for a moment, not wanting to lose the contact. "It's up there," he said quietly. "Be careful, Abby." There was a note of not quite pleading in his voice that he was entirely too aware of and was hoping she wouldn't pick up on. She'd left in the middle of the night; she wouldn't care if he had feelings for her.

He'd be relieved to know that she had never stopped feeling guilty for that night and for leaving him. The reasons had made sense at the time, but she had regretted it. When she heard the request, she heard it as the man hired to keep her safe, and she fought the flare of pain it brought forth.

She brought up her gun and loaded a tranquilizer dart into it. Then she turned and started tracking the creature on soundless feet.

He had his gun at the ready as well; he fully understood that he wasn't to shoot unless necessary, but if that thing, whatever it was, came at them... it was going down. Their safety -- her safety -- came before the creatures, no matter what she might feel.

And then, before he could shout a warning, the creature was there.

Abby froze when she saw all of those teeth. "It's a bloody ancient crocodile from hell!"

It was at that precise moment that her walkie-talkie went off. "Abby! Be careful. The creature is coming your way." The creature focused on Abby and let out the loudest growl she had ever heard from a crocodile. He looked like he was about to charge her and she fired her gun. The creature took another step towards her, and turned escape the other way.

"That? Was too close," she whispered, forgetting Becker was there.

Shifting his gun to the other hand, Becker reached out to grab her hand, squeezing quickly before realizing it wasn't welcome and pulling away. He was pretty sure the universe was toying with him by putting them on the same team, but it was a bittersweet torture he'd endure just for the time around her.

Actually seeing the creature had hammered home just what kind of job he'd taken; he admired the team for being able to do it. Admired _her_ for being able to do it.

Abby suddenly straightened, pulling out her two way radio. "Connor! The river! He's heading outside. I have to stop him before he reaches the water."

And that would be Abby running in the direction that the creature had disappeared.

Followed immediately by Becker swearing and taking off after her. In one way or another, this woman was going to be the death of him.

They made it outside in good time, but already heard the splash as the creature went into the water. "Connor," Abby yelled through the two way. "He's in the water. I'm grabbing a ride on a bo--"

"Don't you dare! You are not getting on a boat again and getting taken. This creature would make a meal out of you a lot sooner than that mercreature tried to."

Now it was Becker's turn to go for the two way. "I'm with her, Connor. I'll go with her, she'll be fine." He didn't like the idea of Abby going into danger, but this was what he'd been hired for -- to protect her and the others.

"Captain Becker, they kidnapped Abby off a boat while both Cutter and I were there! Water creatures seem to like kidnapping her and saving her for dinner!"

Abby had run further down to the water while Connor and Becker were talking. She had to get in and track the creature. She followed the wet footprints until she found exactly where he got into the river. There was a small boat tied to the side. It wasn't a very big boat and it probably wouldn't hold her weight for longer than a minute.

"She's not going to be dinner for anything, Connor, I promise," Becker said as he followed after Abby. It was obvious that Connor cared deeply for Abby; somehow, that hurt. But it made sense. Maybe there'd been something developing months earlier that she'd gone back to.

Abby was beyond frustrated. There was no way for her to follow the creature in the water so she was trying to think about where it could be going. If it was hungry it would go right for... the Centre.

"Connor, tell Cutter that the creature is in the water and headed for the Hotel Centre!"

Oh, that wasn't good, Becker knew already. But there was nothing he and Abby could do at the moment. Or was there? His mind was racing, trying to think of some kind of alternative. But no, nothing, except try to get to the Centre to help Connor and the others.

 

After the crisis was over and the creature sent back to where it belonged, the team -- with new recruit Sarah -- headed back to the ARC.

Abby wanted a shower and to just sleep for several hours. There had been a few terror-filled moments when it looked like her tranquilizer wasn't going to do anything and the creature had kept coming at her. Finally, even though it wobbled, it had gone back into the river and then returned to the museum. When the creature went through the anomaly and Connor locked it down, she could hear the relief being expressed around her. It had been a trying day both physically and emotionally.

Abby wasn't the only exhausted one; Becker was finally coming down off the adrenaline rush of being out in the field and was at the point where he either wanted coffee or to sleep for a week. He'd settle for the coffee, though. Sleep was going to be in short supply in this job, he had a feeling.

But he couldn't go home without checking on Abby first. It was probably just his previously-undiscovered masochistic tendencies, but he just couldn't. So he went looking for her. And when he found her, he just stood there awkwardly, hands shoved into his pockets, as he watched her.

Abby was leaning against the lockers, with her back to the door. Her head was bowed and she was staring at the floor. She brought her hand up every few seconds to rub at her face or run a hand through her hair. She was relieved that everyone had made it through safely -- even with the close call in the conference room.

When she heard him approach, this time she knew it was him. His walk was so different than Connor's or Cutter's. She swallowed, making sure to keep her expression calm and turned to face him.

"You look a lot less shell-shocked than most of the guys have been known to look on their first day out there with us. Are you alright?" She heard her voice quaver just a little and she hoped he didn't hear it.

"I'm fine," he assured her. "I'm more concerned with how _you're_ doing right now." Because despite the calm look on her face, there was something in her eyes that he couldn't quite read, and that worried him.

Abby managed a ghost of a smile. "It's just always a relief when we all get back from dealing with an incursion." It was mostly true. "I think we're all overly aware of how close it can come to our own deaths every time the alarm goes off. We don't want to lose anyone else."

Becker nodded slightly. "Stephen was important to you, wasn't he?" Because Lester had filled him in about everything, including that unfortunate incident, and he'd done the math. Stephen had died right before that night he'd spent with Abby.

Abby looked down, letting out a breath. "He was. He was very important to me, but I'm aware that he probably never saw me like that. Nothing happened between us. Someone else was there, but it didn't make the hurt any easier to deal with. When he died, I think all of us were a bit messed up." She scuffed her shoe on the floor. God, he must think that she was the lowest form of life now that he knew what had caused her to be out that night.

"I've lost people, too. I know how it is." He smiled sympathetically at her. It still hurt that she'd used him and left, but he supposed he could understand it. Grief made people do strange things, sometimes. "I... I hope I helped you that night."

"You did." Her voice was a very soft whisper. "I don't usually do things like that. I'm not... I don't go hunting for a guy when I've been drinking that much. That's not who I am." She shook her head. There was much more that she wanted to say. She hadn't meant for it to happen that way? She hadn't meant to leave him feeling used? She only left because she was ashamed of herself for using him?

She hadn't gone a night without thinking about him in the months that had passed.

"It's all right," he said, reaching out to touch her arm. "You needed someone and that someone just happened to be me. I'm just glad it _was_ me and not someone who would've taken advantage of you." Because he'd been more than a little drunk himself by the end of the bar part of the evening, truth be told.

"I wasn't thinking," she admitted. "I just wanted so badly to _forget_." Once the words were out loud, she realized how bad that they sounded. Until later, she hadn't realized how lucky she had been to end up back at Becker's flat and not in an alley or something. But the last thing she wanted to do was forget about him. Being with him had left an impression for much longer than that night. "You didn't deserve to be used like that," she finally said quietly. "I'm sorry."

He winced slightly. "It's all right," he said. "I'm glad I could help you forget things for a while. And hopefully make you feel good for a while, too." He gave her a grin that didn't quite reach his eyes. "I know this is the world's most awkward situation ever, but... I'm willing to start over and try being friends if you are."

Even though all he wanted to do was push her up against the lockers and kiss her breathless.

Abby saw the wince and it made her feel like the lowest person in creation. And there was no way she could respond to that last part without sounding horrible because he had made her feel incredible that night and for days afterward.

"Friends," she repeated, then nodded. "Yeah, I think I'd like for us to try to be friends. There's no reason we should let our own awkwardness over the past interfere with our jobs."

She wasn't about to let him know that she was thinking about him in a very unprofessional way.

"Friends it is, then," he said with a decisive nod. "And since we're friends... you look like you could use a hug."

That was a perfectly acceptable thing for a friend to do, right? Even if he did want it to be more?

Abby was torn. Part of her knew that she should refuse and turn around to walk away. The problem was, she really didn't want to walk away. She wanted to feel his arms around her again, even if that was a very bad idea. She didn't want him to think any worse of her than he already did.

But.

"Yeah," she nodded, stepping close to him. "Friends hug all of the time."

He smiled at that, wrapping an arm around her and pulling her close. "Been a long day, huh?" he asked conversationally, resisting the urge to kiss the top of her head. Doing that would lead to him tipping her head up and kissing her, something he couldn't do.

Friends, after all.

"You could say that. When Cutter and I were in that conference room, we had a scare. The creature started coming at me and nothing I shot him with looked to be working." God, he felt just as good as she remembered.

He tensed slightly at that. "But it went down and you're okay. Both of you." Though selfishly, at the moment, all he cared about was Abby.

She nodded. "It didn't bite me and we got it to go back through the anomaly where it belonged. Thank god it went back through and Connor locked it down before any more of them could come back. That would have been a new kind of nightmare."

"Yeah, it would have been," he agreed. He knew he should step back, end the hug, but it felt so good to hold her again. He'd thought about it for months. Of course, his thoughts had involved a whole lot more than that, but he'd take what he could get.

It probably didn't help that she hadn't moved away from hugging him, did it? She hadn't been able to stop thinking about him for months and now that he was here, she didn't want to let go of him. Oh, she knew she'd have to soon enough, but she wanted to make this last as long as she could.

"But thankfully, Connor and Sarah were able to prevent that from happening."

As far as Becker was concerned, they could stay like this all night. It felt nice holding her. Comfortable. And far more right than it should've. He made a content little noise that he wasn't even aware of making.

It was hard for Abby not to just close her and eyes nuzzle into his chest. He made her feel like she was so loved and safe when he was holding her. A feeling she wasn't supposed to be getting too attached to.

Finally, reluctantly, Becker stepped back. "I should be going," he said softly. "You have a good night, Abby."

And with that, he'd turned and was heading out.

Abby watched him go. "Good night, Becker," she said quietly.

Before she could say anything that would make this situation more awkward, she moved away to finish storing her gear in her locker. It had been a long day and it looked like she was going to have a long night.


	2. Chapter 2

Connor had become increasingly worried about Abby over the past several weeks. She was still the same vibrant Abby... unless Becker was around. If he was around, then she was quiet and hesitant and looked like she'd rather be anywhere but there.

He stood by and watched it for as long as he could, but eventually he hit his limit. He cornered her in a hallway and finally asked the question he'd had on his mind for weeks. "What's going on, Abby? What's wrong?"

Abby's eyes widened and she shook her head. "Nothing's wrong, Connor," she murmured, trying to force cheerfulness into her voice. "I mean, yeah we've been pretty busy, but that's not so bad. It makes sure that we don't become too soft."

"Every time you're around Becker, it's like you're gonna jump out of your skin," Connor said, not at all fooled by the cheerfulness. "Why? He do something to you? I'll kick his arse for you."

Not that it'd do any good, but dammit.

She slumped against the wall, shaking her head. "No, Conn. Becker didn't do anything to me. It's what I did to him." She swallowed, finding her shoes utterly fascinating. "I did something a few months ago, shortly after Stephen was killed."

"What?" Connor looked at her, concerned. "What happened?"

"I went to a pub, Connor. I got really drunk, more drunk than I ever have before." She blinked, still not looking at him because she didn't want to see his eyes when he realized what she must have done. "Becker was at the pub that night."

"So you... oh. Oh. I see," Connor said awkwardly. "I'm... sorry?" Because he really had no idea how to react.

"I sort of left him while he was sleeping," she said, shaking her head. "When I saw him being introduced by Cutter... well, let's just say I have no explanation for what I did. I used him because I was hurting and then I left him." She let out a breath. "And I just can't stop thinking about him. But I have to. He's my co-worker and what I did to him before was unforgivable and he has every right to hate me and think I'm a horrible person." Because to him, she had been.

"That happened and he's walking around acting like nothing happened." Connor was vaguely pissed off about that. "He doesn't realize how much seeing him is hurting you? The bastard."

That would be Connor already getting an idea in his head. A really bad one.

"He didn't do anything wrong to me," Abby corrected. "It's not his fault he thinks it didn't mean anything to me. I did my best to leave that impression when I was a coward and left while he was sleeping." She swallowed. "He wants us to be friends. And we are. Friends."

"I can see it in your eyes that you want more," Connor said gently. "I've seen it since he came on board, I just didn't know what it meant. You want more and he doesn't, and okay, maybe that's fine. But he's got no right to want to be friends with you when being around him is hurting you so badly."

She gave him a watery smile. "You can't force people to love me, Connor, but I appreciate the sentiment. I'll be fine. Hey, I handled it just fine working with Stephen, yeah? He and I managed to be friends. I can do it again. I just need to make sure I focus on other things until I can get things straightened out in my head."

Connor just looked at her for a long moment before pivoting and very calmly heading off in the direction of the locker room, where he knew Becker was.

That calm wasn't going to last.

 

Becker had just finished tugging a clean shirt on when he heard someone call his name. He turned, only to be greeted by an unexpected fist to the face.

" _Connor_? Have you gone mad?"

Connor stood there for a moment glaring, before he shook out his hand. "Ow!"

"What was that for?" Becker asked, rubbing his jaw.

"You're hurting Abby and as her best friend I have to do something about it." He rubbed his hand. "I thought was supposed to hurt you and not me."

"I'm going to have a bruise, if it helps you any. And you didn't have your hand held right, that's why it hurt you," Becker said. "Though at least you remembered to tuck your thumb in."

Connor glared at him. "I can figure out how to pummel you without any help from you, Mr. Action Man."

Becker just arched an eyebrow. "How exactly am I hurting Abby that makes you feel the need to attempt to assault me?" Because he thought he and Abby were doing pretty well, all things considered. A little awkward sometimes, yeah, but they could be in the same room together most of the time now.

"You slept with her and now you're acting like none of that means anything. You want to be friends with her, but she doesn't want to be sodding friends with you because it's killing her inside."

"Funny, I thought that she was the one who felt like that," Becker said. "What with the way she left me in the middle of the damn night." It had hurt to wake up and find her gone, more than he'd expected it to hurt. "And don't step into things you have no idea of, Temple. It doesn't help any."

"It becomes my business when my best mate is jumping at shadows and looking like she's been gut-punched every time she has to work with you in close contact. I watched what Stephen did to her and I won't watch it from you."

"Ever stop to think that it hurts me just as much? I haven't been able to stop thinking about her and it's been four bloody months!" Becker snapped. "Being with her was the most amazing time of my life and when I woke up? She was gone without so much as a note."

"If it bothers you then why haven't you said anything to her? Don't you realize that she thinks you have the worst opinion possible of her -- not just for leaving you, but for picking you up in a pub in the first place?!"

"A one night stand is hardly the worst thing in the world," Becker said. "And I haven't said anything to her because I thought it didn't mean anything to her! If she didn't want anything else from me, I wasn't going to be pathetic and beg her for more."

Abby had chosen this moment to seek out Becker after her conversation with Connor. She thought maybe she should warn him that Connor could be a little over-exuberant in looking after her whether she needed it or not. She put her hand on the door and started to push it open when she heard Becker's angry voice.

_"It didn't mean anything!"_

She swallowed painfully and stepped back quickly from the door with her hands pressed against her mouth to muffle her gasp. She took another step back, and then turned, running down the corridor and out of the building.

Becker had been about to say something further when he heard the door shut. His head snapped towards the door. He relaxed when nobody came in, looking back to Connor. "I want her more than I've wanted anybody in my life," he said quietly. "But she doesn't want me. She's made it pretty clear."

Connor shook his head, not realizing that Abby had just heard part of their conversation. Since his back was to the door, he had never seen it start to open.

"One of the things that you action types never seem to realize about Abby. She was hurt when she was younger -- even I don't know everything she's gone through. When she falls, she falls hard and if she thinks she needs to, she will do everything she can to make sure no one knows that she has fallen." He sighed. "She's probably ashamed of the way she acted that night because she doesn't normally do things like that. In fact, I can count on one hand the number of times I've seen Abby drunk -- and I live with her." He frowned. "I'm beginning to think all of those muscles come with a real lack of common sense where girls are concerned."

Becker hesitated. "If I go talk to her, I want you to promise me one thing, Connor. However badly it goes down, unless she _tells_ you to, don't come after me again. If this goes badly, I'll be punishing myself hard enough for the both of us."

"She's probably back at the flat, and she'd never say anything like that to anyone. That's why we look out for her because she won't look out for herself in this kind of thing." He shook his hand out again. "I'll be staying here late tonight, so you don't need to worry about the flatmate coming in to interrupt the conversation at a really bad time."

"Thank you," Becker said quietly, grabbing his jacket. "I promise I'll do everything I can to avoid hurting her. I'd rather hurt myself first."

"Yeah, thinking that won't go over too well with her, mate, just so you know."

Becker just looked at Connor a moment before nodding slightly and heading for the hallway. However this played out, he was going to say something to Abby.

 

Abby wasn't entirely sure how she had made it all of the way home. Hearing what Becker said had hurt more than she had ever expected it to. Although she knew it was her own fault that it had ended up that way, she was having a hard time controlling the tears. That would be why when she got to the flat, she made the second mistake she had made in the last four months.

She reached for the very large bottle of wine that was in the cabinet. It had been a birthday present for Connor from her brother, but neither she nor Connor drank all that often. In this case, it was a good thing -- in her mind -- because that meant that there was a great deal of liquid in the bottle.

She grabbed the bottle and a glass and headed to her room. She poured wine into the glass and took several drinks before she decided that she needed a shower. She had cried what little make up she wore off and the day had been hard before then. She needed to relax. Once out of the shower, she pulled on a pair of shorts and a long t-shirt before heading back to the comfort of her bed and the bottle of wine.

Becker rang the doorbell, praying Abby would answer and that this wouldn't be one of the times she was being quiet and reclusive. Times that he tended to cause, he knew.

He raked the fingers of one hand through his hair as he waited.

Thanks to half a bottle of wine on an empty stomach, Abby wasn't feeling the least bit reclusive. When she heard the door, she figured that Connor had forgotten his key again. She pulled the door open and her smile froze on her face.

"Becker?" Because she must be really drunk if she was hallucinating Becker being at her door.

"We need to talk," he said, knowing it wasn't at all the best way to launch into the conversation but not knowing any other way to do it.

She shook her head. "No, we don't. I need to drink some more, but you already talked to Connor. I heard you. It didn't mean anything to you. All right, I got the message." She turned to walk back down her hall.

"Wait!" he said, desperation in his voice. "Abby, I swear to you, I never said that."

"I heard you. You told Connor _'It didn't mean anything'_. It's all right, I won't bother you."

"Okay, I said it, but that's not what I said!" Becker let out an exasperated sigh. "He was mad at me for how I've been hurting you. I told him I'm hurting, too, that being with you was the most amazing night of my life and that when I woke up, you were gone. He asked me why I hadn't said anything to you, and I said ' _I haven't said anything to her because I thought it didn't mean anything to her! If she didn't want anything else from me, I wasn't going to be pathetic and beg her for more._ ' That's all, Abby, I swear."

Abby stopped and turned back to look at him. "You really said all of that to Connor? And I told him that it wasn't your fault I was hurting, that you didn't _know_."

"Yes, I really said all of that." He smiled sadly. "And I don't think that mattered to Connor. You're his best friend. Best friends are obligated to be a little irrational in someone's defense."

"Yeah, but I told him and he should have listened," she insisted. "It's not your fault that I'm an idiot and that I'm hurting. You didn't cause it and you didn't do anything wrong. I don't usually got to pubs like that and I haven't picked up a guy in years. When I woke up, I thought the only way to keep you from finding out what an awful person I was to go looking for a shag when my friend had just died would be to leave before you woke up. I just didn't realize that I wouldn't be able to stop thinking about you!"

Embarrassed at how that had all come out, Abby turned and went back to her bedroom. She was mortified that she had just unloaded like that on Becker. Damn it, she didn't lose her control like this. She prided herself on always being in control.

He probably should've left; he didn't. Instead, he shut the door quietly and followed Abby to her bedroom. He stood in the doorway, watching her as she crawled back onto the bed.

"Last time I saw you in a bed, we spent almost as much time out of it as we did in it." He hadn't meant to say that.

Abby flushed. "You can have a seat, if you like." There was the bed... and a chair that didn't look at all comfortable. She picked up the glass she had been becoming great friends with before he knocked on the door. "You didn't really get to see me at my best that night," she admitted.

He perched on the edge of the bed. "You were grieving and you were hurting," he said gently. "You just wanted to stop hurting for a while. That's understandable, it really is." He reached out to touch her arm, stopped, pulled his hand back.

"I'm not going to bite you," she said quietly when she saw him hesitate to touch her.

"Didn't want to assume anything, is all," he said, reaching out to touch her arm again and letting his hand settle against her this time.

"I invited you in," she pointed out as she took a drink from her glass. She peered at him for a moment. "What happened to your face?"

"Still didn't want to assume." He smiled and then winced. "Connor's fist happened to it, actually."

Abby's eyes widened. "He _hit_ you? Connor. Connor Temple? Connor hit you?" She looked shocked. "Why would he do a daft thing like that?"

"Because I hurt you," Becker said, his fingers curling around Abby's wrist.

She looked down at his hand and a small smile crossed her face before she looked up at him. "Wasn't your fault."

"I wish you'd stayed," he admitted quietly. "I wish I hadn't woken up to find you gone."

Abby winced and looked down. "I thought if I wasn't there when you woke up then you wouldn't think badly of what I had done. I haven't done anything like that since my first year or so in university." She played with the glass, rolling it between her fingers. "I know you're not supposed to get attached, it's why they call it a one-nighter and I had broken all of the rules by doing so. That way, if you hadn't gotten attached like I had, it wouldn't hurt because I wouldn't know."

"You missed out on breakfast," he said, trying to keep the tone light. "I do a mean breakfast." He sat properly on the bed, kicking his shoes off, and carefully wrapped an arm around Abby's shoulders. "It would've been nice waking up to you. Don't wake up with a pretty girl in my bed all that often."

"I wanted to stay," she said, leaning into him a little hesitantly. "You don't know how much I wanted to stay." She took a deep breath. "I didn't want you to find out about Stephen or why I was there -- and I would have told you. I didn't want you to think I was this uncaring bitch and that I had just been using you."

"I would've understood. I know what it's like to lose people." He hugged her against him. "I felt used _because_ you left. Because despite the alcohol, I thought there'd been a connection. I wasn't expecting eternity, I just thought we'd at least part on amicable terms in the morning."

"I would have been attracted to you even without the alcohol," she said quietly. "I may not have acted on it, but it wasn't the alcohol that caused the connection." Said the young woman in his arms who was still drinking wine.

"So there was a connection," he said, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. "That's why I felt hurt and used when you weren't there. I knew it wasn't going to be a forever thing, but I didn't expect it to end quite so... abruptly."

"I didn't mean to hurt you," she said, staring into her wine. "That was never my intention, Becker. I was just used to running."

"You don't have to run with me, Abby," he said softly. "You never have to run with me."

"I wasn't sure how to do anything but run," she finally said. "I fancied you and it wasn't like I would have been able to tell you about my job if we had decided to see each other again."

"So why don't we start over, sort of?" he suggested. "Have the conversation we should've had instead of getting ragingly drunk?"

"Uhm..." She pointed to the wine bottle that was less than half full. "I think that drunk has already happened."

"In that case... want a cuddle?" He just wanted to make her feel safe and happy and convince her that he didn't hate her for what she'd done. Now that he knew her reasoning, he understood.

"I think this is only the second time I've been drunk in a long time," she sighed. "I swear, I don't generally do this. Even Connor would tell you that."

"He did," Becker said, resting his head against Abby's. "He said he could count on one hand the number of times he's seen you drunk."

"This would be twice, I think."

"I'm sorry," he said. "That you got drunk this time. You didn't hear the whole thing, but I'm still the cause of this, and I'm sorry."

"You shouldn't apologize for things that aren't your fault," she pointed out. "Otherwise, some future girl or guy is going to take horrible advantage of you."

She frowned, not liking the idea of him being with someone else.

"This is my fault, though, in a way," he said. "You got drunk because of something I said."

"I didn't hear all of what you said," she said quietly. "I should have stayed and asked instead of running off like a coward."

"But you have feelings for me," he said. "Hearing what you thought you did hurt. It's natural to want to get away from something that hurts you."

"I probably never would have told you." Because the last time she thought someone had really liked her, he forgot all about asking her out. Abby slid her hand down to rest on his thigh.

He did the best he could to suppress a shiver at her touch. "You don't need to be afraid of telling me anything, Abby. Ever."

Her hand shifted again, moving up and down his leg languidly. "I'm not known to be as forthcoming with my emotions to a lot of people."

"But you can count me as someone you never need to worry about putting up a front for." He wasn't necessarily making sense, but he was trying to concentrate on _not_ reacting to her hand.

"I'm glad you came over to tell me, though. I really was feeling pretty wretched." That would be her hand slipping down the front of his pants.

He groaned softly, fighting the urge to buck against her hand. "Abby..."

"Hmm?" She was happy to move her hand within his pants.

"I... oh God." He whimpered in frustration. "Abby, no. I can't. We can't."

She pulled her hand back and shifted, withdrawing into herself with hurt in her eyes. She would probably have moved to get off the bed if he wasn't holding onto her.

"You're drunk. Anything that happens between us shouldn't happen when you're drunk," he said. "As good as it feels."

"I'm not too drunk to know what I'm doing, Becker."

"Still. It's not right," he said, torn. "It's half a step from taking advantage of you, and I won't do that. I won't hurt you like that."

She went still for a long moment. "You seem to be really worried about hurting me, and I'm the one who is running my hand down your pants."

"I don't want you to regret it later," he said. "I haven't been able to stop thinking about you the past four months, and I want so damn bad for something to happen right now, but I don't want it to be something you're going to regret. And if you're drunk, you'll regret it. You already regret what happened the last time you were drunk with me."

"I don't regret _you_. I regret some of the things I did and how I left you before you woke up and didn't leave a note. I don't regret in any way what happened between the two of us that night. I could never regret being with you."

"Promise me you won't hate me in the morning," he said, and he was very much begging her on that. "If anything happens, promise me you won't hate me when you're sober. I couldn't live with the idea of something happening tonight and then you regretting it and hating me in the morning."

Abby pulled back from him so that she could turn to look into his eyes. "Idiot," she said gently. "I could never hate you, Becker. The last thing I could do would be to hate you." She reached up to place a hand on either side of his face. "I would never regret it and I could no more hate you than stop breathing."

He looked at her for a long moment before pulling her to him and kissing her, stifling a whimper in favor of bringing one hand up to cup the back of her neck.

Abby sighed happily, her arms coming up to wrap around his neck. For the first time in months, she felt like she was at ease and where she should be.

"We have some time," Becker murmured against her lips. "Connor said he'd be staying late at work, so we didn't have to worry about the flatmate interrupting the conversation at a bad time. So we have time to take this slow and just let it happen."

"He's a good best friend to have," she murmured. She moved her lips to kiss the bruising area on his face as gently as she could. "I don't care if nothing happens tonight, Becker. I just want to enjoy being here with you finally. This time, you know that if you fall asleep, I'll be here when you wake up."

He whimpered softly. "I really like the idea of waking up with you," he admitted. "Though I'm not sure how Connor will react to seeing me come out of your bedroom in the morning."

"If he values his life he won't say anything at all. He'll probably be glad that I'm not quite as difficult to live with for a little while."

Becker laughed softly. "In that case, how about we just curl up together and snog each other senseless and maybe talk a little, hm?"

Abby's giggle was light and happy. "I think I like this plan of yours," she agreed as she curled close and put her head on his chest. "What would you like to talk about?"

"Whatever you want," he said. "I'm happy as long as I get to lay here and hold you."

"How did you end up getting recruited for the ARC job? Not that I'm sad that you did, I'm very glad. I'm just curious how you ended up here with us. I didn't think it was a job that was advertised for. I'm sure that _Wanted : Dinosaur Hunter_ isn't exactly something the Minister would publish in the news."

He laughed softly. "No, it certainly isn't. Lester recruited me, actually. Which you knew already."

"You must have had a really nice CV if Lester recruited you. He's generally pretty judgmental on who he thinks should know what we're doing or have access. I think he wasn't quite sure of us when the team first formed, but he's since realized I'm kind of one of the best there is in the field with the creatures."

"I'm from a military family, for one thing. For another, I'm _damn_ good at what I do. Might be young, but I know what I'm doing."

"I have no doubt that you know what you're doing. Did he tell you the truth about how dangerous it could be when he hired you or was the prehistoric crocodile the first warning you had that maybe this job had a few secrets hidden within it?"

"He told me the truth, but I'll admit, the prehistoric crocodile was what really slammed it home for me," he said, pressing a kiss to the top of her head again.

She chewed on her lip. "Were you shocked to see me? You looked really unhappy when Cutter introduced us."

"Shocked, yeah, but not unhappy. I thought I was never going to see you again. So it was surprise and trying very hard not to get an erection at the sight of you."

She blushed. "I thought you were angry when I first saw you. When you were introduced as our head of security, I was a little frightened." She frowned. "For you, not of you."

"I was scared for you, too," he admitted. "Why do you think I went with you instead of sending someone else?"

"I didn't think about it, except to wonder if you were making sure that I wasn't going to act weird about you being there. I wasn't sure what to expect when I turned around and saw that you were with me."

"I was hoping it'd take you a while to realize I was there, honestly," he said. "I wasn't really thinking about how you'd take it, though." He tipped her head up a little so he could smile at her.

She looked interested. "You weren't? What were you thinking?"

"I was thinking more along the lines of how I'd never forgive myself if you got hurt -- or worse -- from something I could've prevented."

"You were thinking a little bit of the same thing I was thinking that night when I realized you were there." She blushed, because obviously there was something she wasn't saying about what she had thought that night.

"A little bit? So what's the rest of what you were thinking?" he asked curiously.

Abby smiled slightly. "Well, first I was thinking about how good you looked in your tight black uniform, and how I remembered you with a lot less clothing on.." Her smile faltered. "And then I got really scared."

"Girls do like a man in uniform," he joked before sobering. "Oh, Abby..." He tipped her head up again and kissed her gently. "What a fine mess we've got ourselves in."

Her kiss in response was just as gentle as his was. "Then I got scared about something happening to you, Becker. People have died on this job. Stephen was good at what he did and he was manipulated into his death. I panicked a few times that I would have to see that happen to you." She swallowed. "Quite a mess. It was hard before to keep everything professional -- I don't know if I can do that now."

"Do... do you want me to leave now?" he asked. "If you want to try keeping it professional, I... probably shouldn't be here holding you like this." He really, really didn't want her to say yes to that.

"No. That's not... god, I'm saying this all bloody wrong. I can't keep it professional because I care about you. Me seeing you put yourself in the line of fire will be as hard on me as if I got kidnapped again by a creature would be on you." She bit her lip. "Please don't leave."

"Okay," he said softly. "If you don't want me to leave, I won't. Right now, I just want to make you happy." Because they had a few hours of uninterrupted time that he wanted to make the most of, however that ended up being.

"No matter what ends up happening between us, if we just have a thing where we shag each other..." She cleared her throat. "Or something more, I will not be able to get past my fear that something will happen on the job to endanger you."

"And I'll never get past the same fear about you," he admitted. "Because I care about you. Okay, so I'm not quite sure what all that means yet, but I know that much for certain. And I will put myself on the line for you without hesitation." He grinned at her. "Now, about that whole shagging thing..."

She lifted her head to smile at him, and her eyes were full of interest. "What did you have in mind?"

"Well, we do have a couple hours before Connor gets home... was wondering if maybe you'd be interested in a marginally more sober repeat of our first night together."

Abby turned to him, her head tilted. "I think I'd enjoy that, yeah. Less fear about having to leave so you don't regret being around me and worry about what kind of girl I am."

"I know exactly what kind of girl you are," he said as he kissed her. "Mine. And that's all that matters."

"Yours," she asked when there was a break in the kissing for the breathing. "You mean that?"

"Wouldn't have said it if I didn't," he said. "I rarely say things I don't mean."

"I have some issues, Becker. I haven't really talked about them a lot. Connor doesn't even know. But I know that I want to be yours."

"Then you're mine," he said, as his hand slipped up under her t-shirt. "And I want you to know that I will never lie to you. I don't do that."

Abby made a soft sigh and closed her eyes, enjoying the fingers of his hand on her skin. "I know that you don't like. Don't think you would know how."

"I don't lie to the people I care about." He slid his hand up further. "And I care about you, Abby. Very much."

She opened her eyes and smiled at him. "I can tell you do," she said, reaching to touch his face. "I can see it in your eyes now that we're not trying so hard to hide from each other."

He turned his face towards her touch. "This past month has been hell," he said quietly. "Not because of being around you, but because of... well, being around you. Because all I can do is think about you, and it was hurting me and I didn't know how to make it stop. I didn't _want_ to make it stop, because I thought late-night thoughts of you were the closest I'd ever get to touching you again."

Abby felt guilty all over again for what she had put him through. Even as she stroked along his cheek with a gentle touch, her hand was trembling from all of the emotion she was fighting back. She had caused this kind of pain within him and she hated it so much. "If it helps, I couldn't stop thinking about you, either," she admitted. "I was trying so hard to make sure to keep my distance because I thought that was what you would want."

"It wasn't." He nipped at her palm. "Can't count the number of times I was tempted to push you up against the lockers. Tempted to kiss you, touch you, shag you. Wanted to, thought you wouldn't want me to. So I didn't."

"I would want you to," she said, her voice more shy that either of them was used to hearing it.

He grinned at that, his hand stilling against her side. "So if I were to just back you up against them one night, you really wouldn't mind? I think I like this." His voice had gone soft.

"I would love it if you would do so sometime," she said, her eyes fixed on his.

"Then maybe I will." He grinned. "I told you what I thought about, it's only fair you tell me what you've been thinking about."

She smiled thoughtfully and then moved so that she was on her side, pressed against him. "I've thought a lot about just being able to grab you and kiss you like this." Abby tangled her hands in his shirt and leaned up to kiss him. It wasn't a gentle kiss, it was a kiss that was a little demanding and full of the frustration she had been feeling for the last month or so.

Becker moaned into the kiss, wrapping his arm around her waist and pulling her tight against him. "Oh, yes," he whispered. "What else?"

When he did that, she got bold and moved in his arms so that she was laying stretched out on top of him. "You know what I wanted more than anything sexual, love?" She didn't realize she had said that last word out loud.

He heard it, though, and couldn't help the smile on his face. "What's that?" he asked, touching her face gently. "Whatever it is, it's yours."

"To just be held close by you again. It's been one of those things, just to be this close to you and hear your voice and feel your heart beating."

"No wonder you've been so tense whenever I hug you," he said. "If that's what you want tonight, then that's what you get. Shagging optional, I promise."

"As much as I wanted the hugs -- because I thought that was all I _could_ have with you -- it was difficult because I never wanted to have to let go of you."

"You don't ever have to let go now," he said. "Which will probably make those post-mission relief hugs glaringly obvious as a sign of something more, but..." He managed a shrug under her. "That's okay."

She smiled softly, burying her face in his neck and just relaxing in his arms. "I like hearing that."

He let one hand rest at the small of her back, under her t-shirt. "I just want to make you happy, Abby."

"That's what I want, too, you know. I want to make you happy, too." And make up for the pain she had caused him that morning, too.

"You already are," he said, turning his head slightly and kissing her temple. "You already are."

"I'm really glad you came over tonight. I wasn't sure how I was going to handle tomorrow, but I'm glad I don't have to figure that out now."

"Connor said that when you fall, you fall hard. Put that with the way he was defending you and I decided I couldn't just not say anything anymore. I figured you deserved to know."

Abby winced a little. "Connor has kind of a big mouth." She played with his hair absently.

"He means well. And I'm glad he said something. He made me realize that yeah, you weren't saying anything about how you felt but that didn't mean that _I_ couldn't say something about how _I_ felt."

She pulled back, resting her chin on his chest so that she could look up at him. "You're taking it awful well for a guy that got run away from and then sucker punched by a bloke over the same girl."

"Because in the end, I got the girl." He quirked a smile. "And as you've probably noticed, I don't do the demonstrating of my feelings especially well."

She laughed softly. "I never would have guessed," she said with a small smile. "I'm not sorry that you decided to talk to me, but I am sorry you got hit in the face first."

"If it helped me decide to talk to you, then I can live with it."

Abby didn't speak, instead she moved up his body so that she could apply feather soft kisses to his jaw and along his cheek bone.

Becker whimpered softly, tilting his head to the side a little.

When he turned his head like that, she continued leaving kisses along his jawline and then across his lips. She hesitated there for a moment, before moving to kiss the other side of his jaw.

He whimpered again. "Thought about this a lot," he said softly. "About how much I'd liked kissing you. How much I'd liked being kissed by you." Because their first time? Hadn't been all about the sex. Just mostly.

"I liked kissing you that night," she murmured between the gentle kisses she was now leaving along his neck and shoulder. "I'm very glad that we've got the chance to do it again."

For a second there he went still, but it was the kind of still where he was trying to figure out if it was physically possible to wiggle out of his jacket and shirt while still underneath her.

Abby had already run her hand beneath his jacket, but not his shirt. She was being very careful now because she didn't want to push beyond his comfort level with her. She did kiss his ear before stopping and snuggling her head onto his chest again.

Becker made a clearly disappointed sound. But if she wanted to stop, he wasn't going to protest. He wanted this to be comfortable for her, and him complaining about her stopping? Would make it the exact opposite.

"Becker?"

"Yeah?" He lifted his head slightly to look at her.

"If... if you're staying for awhile, you might be more comfortable if you take your jacket off."

He smiled slightly. "Didn't want to take it off when I wasn't sure how long I was staying," he said. "And then you got all comfortable on me and I definitely wasn't going to tell you to move then."

She took a breath. "Please stay with me?"

He loved that she'd asked him to, and he knew what it had cost her to ask and put herself out there like that. So his only response was to carefully sit up, tug his jacket off, and drop it to the floor.

She sighed with relief that he wanted to, and then hoped her relief had been quiet enough that he didn't notice it. She was sitting up as well and she gave him a smile.

He smiled in return and leaned in to kiss her. "I like the idea of falling asleep with you in my arms," he said softly. "Because as much as I've mentioned the possibility of shagging, and as much as I liked that whole hand down my pants thing, it all comes down to me just wanting to be with you."

Abby was pretty sure that she could spend an entire night just kissing Becker. She would also be happy to just snuggle close into him and fall asleep like that. In fact, she would be hard-pressed to think of anything having to do with him that she wouldn't enjoy.

He smiled contently as they settled back down on the bed. "My girl," he said softly. "My Abby."


	3. Chapter 3

Abby woke up the next morning feeling better than she had in months. She had slept well, and being held by Becker had certainly made the night a more pleasant time to be in. Smiling, she rolled over to greet him and froze. He wasn't there. Swallowing hard, she reached out to place her hand where he had been sleeping. The bed was cold, so he had been out of it for awhile.

He was gone.

Abby couldn't help it. The tears just started trickling down her cheeks as she curled up in a ball, pain rising in her chest. She couldn't blame him for leaving; after all, hadn't she done exactly that to him?

It didn't mean that finding him gone was any less hurtful.

Becker had a bounce in his step as he made his way back towards Abby's bedroom with two cups of coffee in hand. The previous night had gone even better than he'd dared to hope.

"Rise and shine, beautiful," he called as he reached the bedroom. "Drag your sleepy butt out of bed, I'm going to do breakfast -- " He cut off when he saw Abby curled up in the middle of the bed crying. He set the coffee down on the nearest available surface and went over to the bed. "Abby? What's wrong? Talk to me," he said, sitting down and wrapping an arm around her to pull her close.

Abby was surprised to hear his voice and she looked up, confusion on her face even as she was in tears. When she saw that he was really there, she just about threw herself into his arms and held onto him tightly. She should have remembered what he had said before about breakfast, but the fear that she had pushed him away because of her previous behavior towards him had been a bit stronger than common sense.

Especially when coupled with the bit of a hangover she had from the wine.

"I thought you were gone," she finally whispered, ashamed that she had doubted him.

"Oh, love, no," he whispered, rocking her gently and rubbing her back with his other hand. "No, I didn't leave. I _wouldn't_ leave. I went to make coffee and see what you had in the kitchen for breakfast."

He said one of the magic words.

"Coffee?" She swallowed hard, loosening her hold on him. She was now feeling quite embarrassed. "I shouldn't have assumed that you had." She shook her head. "I'm never drinking wine again."

"Wine is evil," he said cheerfully as he moved off the bed to retrieve the coffee. He pressed a mug into her hands before sitting back down.

She curled her hands around the cup, feeling more than a little self-conscious about her miniature breakdown when he wasn't in the bed with her. It looked like she wasn't as confident about not being left again as she tried to portray. "'M sorry."

"It's all right," he said, sipping at his coffee. "But if I'd left... I'd have written you a note. I wouldn't have just up and left on you. That would hurt you and I promised I wouldn't do that."

Abby tried very hard not to wince. She knew that it wasn't a dig at her for anything, but it was still going to be a bit before she stopped feeling bad about her behavior those months ago. "I know," she said quietly, taking a drink from her cup.

He hesitated and reached out to touch her arm gently. "What can I do?" he asked. "What can I do to prove that I'm not going to leave you? Whatever it is, I'll do it."

She shook her head. "You don't have to do anything to prove a thing to me, Becker. It's just going to take me a few to get used to the fact that you're not going to leave like everyone else. It will be all right."

"I know I don't _have_ to do something," he said, his expression serious. "I _want_ to, though. I want you to know how much you mean to me."

She gave him a small smile. "Just be patient, yeah? I can be very trying sometimes or so I've been told."

"I haven't noticed." And he was completely serious about that.

He leaned in to kiss her gently. "You've got me, Abby. You've got me and I'm not leaving."

The morning was looking to get better. "I'm not planning to leave you, either," she said, enjoying the kiss. _Not again._

He deepened the kiss slightly for a moment before pulling away, hiding his awkwardness behind his coffee cup. All he wanted to do was kiss her senseless, but that wasn't what the morning needed.

Abby wouldn't have said no to the kissing senseless part, but she knew that after everything that happened, maybe he wanted to take things a little slower. She could understand that. "You make good coffee," she finally ventured, smiling at him over the edge of the cup. That was a high compliment coming from her first thing in the morning.

"When you don't always have the chance for a lot of sleep, you learn to do coffee," he replied, taking another sip of his coffee. "Either good or strong, preferably both." He reached out to trail a finger along her cheek, needing to touch her somehow, if not in the way he was wanting to at the moment.

"Sometimes sleep is hard to come by working for the ARC, too," she said apologetically, leaning into his touch. "Coffee and tea are what we tend to live on some days."

"So _that's_ why Connor acts like a hyperactive three-year-old," he said, laughing softly, his hand settling against her cheek and his thumb brushing against her lips.

That description made Abby giggle. "I think part of that is just Connor, but the caffeine probably doesn't help it any." She kissed his thumb.

He shivered at that. "Abby, I... I'm wanting to kiss you a whole lot more than I should right now," he admitted. "Would you mind if I kissed you again?"

Trying to restrain himself like this was killing him, but damn it, he refused to move as fast as he wanted to at the moment. If he did that, Abby would've been in his lap and naked already.

"More than you should?" She asked in confusion. "Why do you think that?" She set down her coffee and smiled at him. "I wouldn't want to spill it while I'm getting kissed by the most beautiful man I've ever seen."

"Because you don't want it right now," he said, setting his coffee aside and tipping her head up. "You were just sobbing your heart out." Despite saying that, he leaned in to kiss her gently.

That gentleness lasted all of a few seconds.

"I thought I had lost you." That was all she was able to say before she was kissing him back a little less than the gentle way she had been planning to.

He moaned into the kiss, at the same time as he was working his hands under her t-shirt. He was officially done with restraining himself. He was just going for it. Not that he was going to push her into anything -- he liked his bits remaining where they belonged, thank you -- but he was going to see just how far _she_ wanted it to go.

She shivered as a memory from the first time they had done this was triggered and she moved closer to him. She tugged at his shirt, and then let her hands slide up beneath it. He looked very nice in his tight-fitting shirt, but it was just in the way right about now.

He grinned at her, pulling away just long enough to take his shirt off and toss it aside. She wanted the shirt off? Then off it would go.

Abby glanced at the door and then lifted her eyebrow at him. She didn't really think that Connor would like walking into whatever was going to happen between her and Becker. She leaned in to kiss him and again and then pulled back with a smile. "If we're planning on doing anything more, we should probably close the door."

"Good point," he said, getting up and moving to close the door. "Because this? Is private and completely ours."

She really liked watching the way he moved. There was a mixture of grace and wildness in his movements and she was going to be very happy to get to see more of that in days and weeks to come.

He liked her watching him, which explained the slow deliberateness as he moved back over to the bed. Was he teasing her? Oh, yes. Yes, he was. Because if something was going to happen -- and it quite likely was -- then he was going to enjoy it as much as he could. And part of enjoying it was seeing the expression on her face.

The expression on her face was equal parts distraction and appreciation. She swallowed, watching the way he moved and trying very hard not to whimper or make some other noise. She opened her hands and then closed them again. If she hadn't been trying so hard to keep part of herself under some kind of control she would have been reaching to grab him and pull him to her so she could kiss him. She wanted to show him what he was doing to her.

He sat on the bed with her and leaned in to kiss her, barely brushing his lips against hers for a second before he was deepening the kiss and pulling her close. "Mine," he said, nipping at her lower lip. " _Mine_."

He knew she was still worried about how he felt. He didn't blame her, but he wanted to make damn sure she knew how he felt about her. And since he couldn't find the words, this would have to do.

Abby whimpered quietly, wrapping her arms around his neck. The possessive tone that she was picking up had only served to make it harder to keep herself in check. There was something inside her that was fluttering in joy about how he was calling her his. She hadn't dared to hope last night that there would be more between them than just a shag.

Obviously, Becker was just as hopeful -- was that even the right way to describe what was happening between them from his point of view? -- that there would be something so much more between them.

He tugged her t-shirt up with a distinctly impatient air. "Want you," he said softly, his voice low and husky. "Want to touch you." Because he knew their first time together had been emotionally painful for her; he wanted to erase all of that, give her nothing but good to remember about being with him.

If she knew the way he was thinking, she would been melting completely. She remembered every detail of the last time they were together, but it was tainted with the grief and heartache she had been breaking down under. This time, it was all about the two of them. She was appreciating whatever powers that be that were allowing her to have a second chance.

Her shirt got tossed aside; he took a moment to look at her, just seeing her. "So beautiful," he said as he leaned into kiss her, pushing her gently down onto her back. "I didn't appreciate you properly the first time and I'm sorry about that. That's going to change this time."

"You appreciated me just fine," she argued, surprised by how hoarse her own voice sounded. She trembled, watching his eyes as she laid back against the pillows. "But I can't wait to see what you think you didn't do before." The last thing she was going to do was deny him that. There was something about his words and his actions that was making her feel all sorts of things that she hadn't felt since that night.

It hadn't been this strong within her that night, however.

Oh, God, he loved that tone in her voice.

"As I recall, you were the one more in control that night." He nipped at her lip again before kissing his way along her jaw and down her throat. "I loved it. But this time? Control's all mine."

And he didn't even realize how that sounded, either.

Now, she wasn't able to control the whisper of a moan managed to escape her. She liked that he was taking control right now. When he started kissing at her throat, she tilted her head back to give him better access. She loved feeling his lips on her skin like this.

And he loved touching her, kissing her, just _being_ with her.

He was pressing against her as he slowly kissed his way lower, trying not to actually pin her down even though that was pretty much exactly what he wanted to be doing at the moment. There were limits, after all, even when you were halfway seducing someone. And really, that _was_ what he was doing, even if he didn't quite realize it.

Abby would have been happy to let him pin her down, because the last thing she wanted to do was move any amount away from him. With his body pressing against hers, she felt like she was floating a little. It was taking all of her control not to grab him and pull his face back up to hers so that she could kiss him. She was resisting this because she was very interested in what he was planning to do.

And what he was planning on doing was lingering as he reached her breasts. He had a distinct memory of doing the same thing the first time they'd been together. Some parts of the night were fuzzy and some were clear; that was one of the most vivid. He lifted his head to smile darkly at her before capturing a nipple between his lips and sucking gently.

She just about came up off the bed when he did that, and she was sure that if he hadn't been pinning her down with his body she would have. She dropped her head back against the pillows as a small moan left her lips. She remembered a good many of the details of their one night together, but remembering and experiencing the sensations again were two completely different things.

He bit back a whimper and was grateful she couldn't see the tears in his eyes at the way she was reacting to him. Part of him had been afraid that the sheer abandon of the first time they'd been together had just been the way the alcohol had hit her.

If she knew what he was thinking, Abby would have scrambled to reassure him. The alcohol had made her brave enough to proposition him -- and brave enough to follow up on it. The way that she had reacted to him that night? It was very real, just like it was now.

He kept those attentions up even as he slid his fingers under the waistband of her shorts. He pulled back, tugging the shorts and her underwear down her legs and doing his best to keep his gaze from meeting hers. He didn't want her to see the faint sheen of tears still there.

While she wasn't sure why he was avoiding looking at her face, she kept getting distracted by the feel of his hands. She liked his hands. They were large and gentle and the barest brush of them made her skin prickle. She whispered his name once and blinked her eyes for a moment because she just couldn't believe that she could get so lucky.

He dropped her clothing to the floor, and that was where he lost his courage. He finally lifted his head and looked at Abby, even knowing she could see the look on his face now.

"Hey," she whispered in concern, starting to sit up. "What's wrong?" She wasn't sure what made him sad all of a sudden, but that was not a look of happiness in his eyes.

"You really are reacting to _me_ ," he said, and there was awe in his voice despite the tears in his eyes. "The sheer abandon you had when we slept together that night... it really was the way you'd react to me. I was afraid it would turn out to just be the alcohol."

She shook her head. "No. The way you made me feel, that was all _you_. The propositioning you and acting on it was the alcohol. The rest of it? That was me reacting to you and how you were affecting me."

He smiled at that, moving forward slowly to kiss her. "Even the part when you were muttering about wishing I had a belt so you could tie me down?"

Because oh yes, he'd _really_ liked that idea.

She blushed a bright red. "I thought I had only thought that. Didn't realize I had actually said it out loud."

"Well, you did. And for future reference?" He grinned at her. "I usually wear a belt."

She laughed softly. "I'll have to remember that the next time I'm feeling naughty."

He grinned again. "You better. I'm rather a fan of getting tied down, under the right circumstances." He kissed her again, lingeringly, skimming one hand along her side before pulling back and standing so he could undo his jeans.

"I've net let anyone do that to me." She didn't like the fear that losing control brought on. She forgot what else she was going to say as she watched him undoing his jeans. Even that simple thing was full of sexiness and grace.

"Would you let me?" he asked as he stepped out of his jeans and underwear. "Someday, I mean. Not now."

He was pretty sure he shouldn't like the idea of tying her up or otherwise restraining her as much as he did.

She didn't even think twice. "Uh huh." She nodded, her eyes running over him as he stood there. "I would. You wouldn't hurt me or use it against me later."

"Wouldn't dream of it, love." He joined her on the bed again, kissing her gently. "And I apologize if I'm being a little aggressive right now."

Oh, so a potential mood-killer. He was good at those.

She nipped at his lip. "I happen to like what you're doing." Because she really was enjoying seeing this side of him.

"Well, as long as you like it, then." Because he would've stopped in a heartbeat if she didn't.

Becker shifted position, pinning her down with his body again. He nudged her legs apart, settling between them and biting the inside of his cheek hard to fight off a whimper.

The shudder she gave when he did that was probably a good indication that she was just as affected by his movement as she was. She ran her hands lightly down his back, moving over the muscles in his shoulders appreciatively.

He shivered a little under her touch and shifted against her, barely needing to position himself before he was entering her slowly. It was torture to go that slow, but he was determined to do this right. And that meant not doing everything he wanted to be doing right now.

Abby's eyes closed for a moment and a long sigh escaped her as her hands stilled against his back. This felt good. This felt right. This felt just as wonderful as she had thought it would be while she was sober. She opened her eyes and she looked at him, a soft smile crossing her face.

"I never forgot how you felt," she said in a quiet tone.

"I never forgot how you felt, either," he admitted as he finally buried himself in her. "And believe me, I thought about it. I thought about it a _lot_."

"That makes two of us then," she assured him. "I did say that I couldn't stop thinking about you even after I left."

"Yes, but I didn't think you'd been thinking about, well... that."

"I thought about every moment I spent with you that night."

"I thought about it all, too. Because I couldn't believe you wanted me that badly. You were pretty shameless in hitting on me, after all." And he had absolutely loved it.

"There was a great deal I acted shameless about that night. I was hoping that even though it started because of the alcohol that it would get much better and much more of a real connection that wasn't colored by the great amount of alcohol I was drinking that night."

"And it did," he said with a grin, kissing her tenderly. "Took a while, but it got better." The grin turned dark. "And it'll get even better than this, I promise."

She looked into his face, noticing the dark look in his eyes. "Even better you say, love?"

"Oh, yeah," he said, going still against her for a moment before pulling back, not quite withdrawing -- and then burying himself in her again suddenly. "Even better."

"Oh! Oh yes, I see..." Her voice was a little whispery as he did that and she reached up to place her hands along his chest and caress his muscles and his skin.

"I've thought about you a lot, Abby," he said softly. "Thought about that night, yeah, but I've thought about taking you in so many places at work."

She shivered as he spoke, her mind working in all kinds of wonderful ways as she thought about the things Becker might have wanted to do. "That could be dangerous and exciting," she admitted.

"The lockers, one of the climate-controlled labs, Lester's office when my brain's feeling particularly suicidal." He back and thrust again.

"Suicide by Lester is not an option," she gasped, arching her back to raise her hips up against him. "Up against the lockers could be fun, though."

"I'll keep that in mind, then," he said. "Maybe some night when we're both there late... lessen the risk of getting caught at least a little bit."

"Getting caught would definitely do something to ruin the mood," she agreed, falling back on the pillows so that she could watch his face.

"But the _possibility_ of it would be exciting, I think," he said, smiling down at her. "We'd have to be quiet."

She smiled up into his eyes and she tightened her muscles around him as he was moving in and out of her.

He groaned as she tightened around him. "Perfect," he gasped, his voice a sharp hiss. "Oh God, thank you. Just... thank you."

"So, that's something I shouldn't do in the locker room since we'd need to be very quiet," she asked, doing it again.

"Uh-huh," he agreed distractedly. "Feel free to do it any other time, though, because it feels bloody amazing."

Her eyes filled with joy at that. "I'm glad. I've never tried that before."

"Feel free to try new things all you like," he said, kissing her. "If it's you doing it, I'll love anything."

She squeezed again, and then leaned up to nip lightly at his collar.

"I was so afraid that one night would be the only time we were ever together," he said with a whimper. "I've wanted this for the past month, ever since the museum."

"The museum, really?" She asked as she once again arched her hips so that he could move deeper inside her. "Why?"

"I never stopped thinking about you," he said. "I never stopped _wanting_ you. And I was close -- so close -- to propositioning you that night and asking you to come home with me."

Her eyes widened and she looked up at his face. "You were? Why?"

"You... sound surprised," he said, stilling against her. "Is it really that surprising?"

"That you wanted to be with me immediately? Yeah. I'm the lizard girl. Have been since high school. I don't get the guy I want so badly like you've wanted me." She looked interested. "Why didn't you?"

"Because I was raised to respect a woman. Propositioning her as blatantly as I wanted to proposition you just isn't done by a man. If it turns out to be what the woman wants, that's different. Why do you think I went with it so easily? It was what I wanted."

"I'm very glad that it was something that we both wanted just as badly, then. I wouldn't have wanted to miss any of this. Not for the world."

"There's only one thing I would've ever wanted to miss," he said as he started moving again. "You hurting so badly."

"I'm not hurting now," she said, wanting to erase that memory from his mind. She ran a hand lazily along his shoulders. "Not even close to hurting now."

"I will never hurt you," he promised with a whimper. "Never again."

"You didn't, Becker. You didn't hurt me. I hurt myself." She tended to be very good at that.

"I hurt you this past month," he said. "Connor was right. I was acting like nothing was wrong, like nothing had happened. I didn't want to, but I thought it was what you wanted."

"How about if I stop beating myself up about leaving you in the first place, and you forget about how you may or may not have hurt me this last month?"

"But I _did_ hurt you, though," he said. "And I hate that I did that. Because you were already hurting enough."

"Becker," she said, reaching out to cup his face. "We've both been hurting. But right now? I'm not hurting in the least little bit. Are you?"

"No," he said with a whimper. "God, no. I feel _amazing_."

"So do I, so let's just go with that, alright?"

"Whatever you say," he said, one hand resting against her side and the other sliding up to cup a breast as he moved against her. "Oh, God, Abby. You feel good. You feel so good."

She whimpered, moving closer to him. "I missed you," she said shyly, reaching out to tug gently on his hair. "I missed feeling you like this -- how it just seemed so perfect."

Oh, the hair thing. She remembered the hair thing. He groaned softly, burying his face against her hair as he thrust harder.

Oh yes, she remembered how much he had seemed to enjoy having his hair pulled while they were having sex like this. When he thrust harder, she tugged just a little, making that mewling noise in her throat that he seemed to have enjoyed that night.

His only response was an incoherent groan as he thrust harder still, all sense of gentleness or finesse now completely gone from the moment. But it still felt absolutely, blissfully, amazingly perfect. And oh God, that _noise_!

She arched her hips up against him and she leaned forward so that she could kiss collar bone.

"Perfect, Abby," he said with a whimper. "Perfect, perfect, perfect."

"It feels just exactly as it should when we're like this together," she whispered. "Beautiful and perfect."

"Just like you," he said, not bothering to stifle a sound this time. He thrust harder, lost in the moment and whispering two simple words -- "thank you" -- over and over again; he came sooner than he would have liked, stilling against her.

When she could form words after only being able to make a soft keening sound, Abby could feel herself trembling against Becker as she held him to her. She hadn't realized that she was so close until she felt him coming inside her. "Perfect," she repeated again.

"Had hoped I'd last longer than that," Becker said, amazed that he'd reduced her to trembling. "That's my only complaint."

She gave him a cheeky grin. "I'll take that as quite a compliment, then."

"As well you should. Because as I recall, you made quite the test of my stamina that first night." Hey, like they'd said, it'd been pretty awesome. It'd been the next morning that had been lousy.

She smiled and her muscles were still twitching when she lifted her head up to kiss him. "I'm sure that next time you'll make quite the test of my stamina."

"Oh, I plan on it." He returned the kiss, nipping playfully at her lip, and then let out an unhappy groan. "Damn it. We should get going. Don't like this work thing. Would rather stay here with you."

"If we don't go in, there will be gossip and we sure as hell don't need that."

"There'll be gossip no matter what -- Connor nearly had a heart attack this morning when he saw me in the kitchen."

"Connor won't gossip."

"No, but this is Connor. He'll be too bouncy and happy for you and won't be able to keep it in forever."

She laughed softly. "All right, you do have a very good point. Come on, I'll even share the hot water with you."

"Us sharing pretty much guarantees it'll take us even _longer_ to get ready," he said, laughing. "Not that I have a problem with this, mind you."

Abby grinned and scrambled off the bed, grabbing her robe and tossing it on. "I'm going to go ahead and go to the shower," she said, winking at him. "It's entirely up to you if you join me or not."

He just shook his head, laughed... and rolled out of bed. "You drive a hard bargain, y'know that?" He slipped back into his jeans, in the name of not traumatizing Connor if the other man was still home.

"It's one of the inherent attributes of being Abby." Her eyes were full of mirth as she headed down the hall and into the shower.

"One of my favorites," he said as he followed her, quite happy to watch the way she moved.

Once in the bathroom, Abby turned on the hot water and then added a little of the cold so that it wasn't too hot. As soon as the water was running, she dropped robe and stepped beneath the spray.

Becker slipped out of his jeans and joined her in the shower. "In case I haven't said it, you're beautiful like this."

She turned to give him a bright smile. "You couldn't have said that because you've never seen me in the shower before."

"I meant naked in general, actually," he said, giving her a cheeky grin of his own.

Abby laughed and leaned up to kiss him.

He returned the kiss gently, tenderly. And it was at that moment he realized that he was pretty sure he'd fallen for her and fallen hard.

Abby pressed close to him, her arms draping around his waist in a relaxed fashion. She was trying not to think too much about what was happening between them. Thinking too much led to saying the wrong thing, and now that he was in her life, she didn't want to do anything to push him away.

Part of him, the responsible part who always followed the rules, was pointing out that they did need to get ready for work, but the other part of him was more than content to stay there and hold her close and kiss her tenderly.

Finally, though, he made himself pull back. "Lester will be pissed if we're late," he said, laughing softly. 'So why don't we get ready, get going, and see if we can kick Connor out of the flat for the night, hm?" His eyes darkened. "Or maybe you could come home with me tonight."

She looked up at him and nodded slightly. "No use letting the office gossip make him think we can't be on time to do our jobs," she agreed. "I think it would be unfair to kick Connor out when he was so nice last night to make sure we got to talk." She reached out to touch his arm. "Besides, I'd like to see your place again."

"I'd like you to see it, too," he said, his voice surprisingly shy. "Really see it, not just drunkenly stumble through it on the way to the bed."

"Seeing it and you is something I can definitely look forward to throughout the day."

"I'd offer to cook, but my skills at that are scattershot at best aside from breakfast," he said, laughing softly. "God, I love this. Knowing I can look at you today and think back and remember this morning and know there's more to come."

He didn't even mean the sex. Well, not necessarily. Just the entire thing where they'd been together.

"Me, too," she said, suddenly feeling much more shy than she had in awhile. "Becker, just so you know, I don't really know how to... well to be a girlfriend, I guess. If that's what you meant I was when you said..." She swallowed. "Or if you didn't, that's okay. I just..." Oh look, someone had been taking speaking lessons from Connor. "God. I'm making a mess out of this."

He laughed softly, and yes he was laughing at her, but it wasn't in a mean way. "Abby, listen to me," he said gently. "You don't know how to be a girlfriend? That's fine. I don't know how to be a boyfriend. I can count on one hand the number of people I've dated."

She looked up at him. "Really? I would have thought that girls would be throwing themselves at you. I didn't have the best reputation in school a few times."

"They threw themselves at me, yeah. And there were flings. A few, anyway. But I spent most of my time in military school. Was more interested in my education than in anything else."

She turned away so he wouldn't see her face as she was washing her hair. "Lizard girl. Punk rocker. Weekend shag... until I got my head straightened out and decided I was better than that and knew what I wanted to do."

He touched her back lightly. "If I'd known you, you wouldn't have been just my weekend shag."

"Everyone wanted the lizard girl for a shag and nothing else. Pretty to show off, not anything worth keeping." She shrugged. "I was fine with it."

"Well, _I'm_ not fine with it," he said, his voice a low, protective growl. "And I damn well would have kept you."

"I believe you really would have..."

"Damn right I would have," he said, that growl still in his voice. "You don't deserve to be used. Ever."

"That's... that's probably the nicest thing I've had said about me in a long time, Becker. No one has ever wanted to protect my honor like that."

"You're my girl," he said, forcing himself to back down. "Of course I want to protect your honor. Or at least ruin it myself." He was trying to lighten the mood.

Abby's eyes were shining as she looked up at him. "I love it when you say things like that."

"Say things like what?" he asked. "Things I mean?"

"When you call me your girl." She nodded. "It feels nice."

"I'll say it whenever you want. I'll say it in front of everybody, if you want." Oh, yes, Becker was serious about making a claim.

Abby ducked her head. "You don't have to do that. I wouldn't want there to be any discomfort for you at work, yeah?"

"I just want you to know how serious I am about this," he said. "Because I don't care who knows about us... even if Lester would enjoy finding new and difficult ways to make this complicate our lives."

"He might enjoy torturing us to gain amusement at our expense," Abby agreed. "Or he would think that it would make us work a little better together to stay safe if there was more than a teammate relationship there. Who knows with Lester."

Becker laughed softly. "He never operates the way you think he's going to," he agreed. "And I'm sure everybody will find out soon enough, anyway. I can't imagine being able to pretend forever that nothing's going on between us."

"I wasn't able to pretend for very long that I wasn't wanting more."

"I... was wrapped up in my own pain and my own wants and I didn't even see how you felt," he said, ducking his head under the water. "I think Connor's the only one who noticed."

"Connor notices a lot more than anyone ever gives him credit for," she murmured as she started shampooing her hair. "You are the first person I've ever known him to hit, though."

"That's an honor I could've done without," he said dryly. "And how bad _does_ the bruise look, anyway? Connor did kind of go all flaily this morning when he saw me, but I thought that was just because he didn't realize I'd actually spent the night."

Abby rinsed her hair and wiped her eyes before looking closely at his jaw. "Well, the good news is that if you don't shave for a day or two, it won't be as noticeable."

"It's going to hurt to shave, anyway," Becker said, washing his hair quickly. "Or maybe I'll just blame it on a bar fight. Because explaining it? Not gonna be easy."

"And like anyone would believe you get into bar fights?"

"Hey, it's happened!" he said, laughing. "Granted, not that often because I'm fond of my military career, thank you. But it's happened."

"Ok, let me rephrase it, no one is going to believe that only a month after being hired for security lead at the ARC, you decided a bar fight would be fun."

"Okay, good point. Getting mugged in an alley, maybe? Be more believable than telling them Connor did it. Though it'd be fun seeing who'd believe that one."

"No getting Connor in trouble...although, if you could maybe tell some of your men he did it, it would give Connor quite a boost, you know."

"Was already planning on it. Connor's a good kid, you know." Which was funny, given that Connor was actually _older_ than him, not that you'd know by how he acted.

"There's a reason he is my best friend and flat mate. We look out for each other and the next time someone like that bitch Caroline tries anything with him, I'm feeding them into an anomaly somewhere nasty."

"Don't waste a perfectly good anomaly on someone like that," Becker said. "Just let me deal with them. I guarantee they'd regret it."

"I saved her from a Smilodon after she was the one who kidnapped Rex and betrayed us to that horrible Oliver Leek person." She grimaced. "She played with Connor and I hated her for it."

"Don't waste an anomaly on them," Becker repeated. "I'll take care of anybody who hurts Connor. After all, I owe him one."

She looked up at him. "You really think so?"

"I know so."

She smiled. "You consider me worth a bruise to your jaw, then?"

"I consider you worth a whole lot more than that, love." He paused. "Since Connor's still home, obviously, think we can make him run out to my car? I've got a spare set of clothes in a duffel bag in the back seat."

Abby smiled softly. There was something that really made her melt whenever he used that endearment on her. "I can run out and get them if you like, or we can ask him." She reached to turn off the shower and handed him a towel. "Do you want to hide in here or would you be more comfortable in my room?" She was already moving to step out of the shower.

"Hiding in here generally works best when the person I'm hiding from doesn't already know I'm here." Becker grinned and wrapped the towel around his waist. "Besides, Connor probably needs to get ready, too. I'll just wander back to your room."

She giggled softly and after wrapping herself in her robe, she opened the bathroom door and headed down the hall. "Hey, Connor?" She called up to the loft. "Can you do me a favor please? Can you go down to Becker's car and bring up his duffel bag so he can get dressed for work?"

There was a pause before Connor yelled back, "You two better not have just had sex in the shower!"

Sounds of moving around could be heard.

"Thanks, Connor!" Becker called. "Car keys are in my jacket pocket in Abby's room."

"We haven't moved up to shower sex, yet!" Abby couldn't help adding.

"Yet?" Becker just arched an eyebrow at her and grinned. "Does that mean we might someday?"

Abby smothered a giggle as she tugged him to her bedroom to wait for Connor to go get Becker's extra clothes.

"So much for the coffee," Becker said ruefully, picking up the cup he'd set down. "I know how much you like your coffee in the morning." More like it kept her from ripping people's heads off, but eh. Same difference.

"We can always grab some on the way to work," she suggested as she headed for her closet to get clothing for the day.

"True. And really, it got forgotten in favor of absolutely incredible sex, so it's a win."

That'd be when Connor appeared in the bedroom doorway, holding the duffel bag out. "I am _so_ disturbed right now, just so you know," he said, making a face that would've been more effective if he wasn't also fighting off a grin.

Abby giggled, poking her head out of the closet. "It's kind of your own fault, you know."

"Oi!" Connor protested. "How is it my fault?"

"You hit him. And Connor Temple don't you ever do that again! If it was someone else he would have hurt you and then where would I be? Stuck without my best friend, yeah?"

"He deserved it," Connor mumbled. "He'd hurt you."

"It _was_ a pretty solid hit," Becker offered. "For what it's worth."

Abby had pulled on her jeans and a t-shirt while in the closet and she came back out to look at him. "I appreciate what you were doing, Conn. Not everyone has a best mate who is willing to pick a fight with someone because she's hurting. I just don't want you to get hurt, too."

"Protecting you was more important," Connor said with a shrug. "Sorry if it hurts, though." That last bit was to Becker.

Becker shrugged. "I've had worse. It'll be fine."

"Well... good." Connor smiled awkwardly. "I'm gonna go get ready for work now. Abs, you heading in on your own or catching a ride with me or catching one with him or what?"

Abby kissed Connor's cheek. "Thank you, just make sure I don't lose you, all right?" She looked at Becker and smiled faintly, a blush coloring her cheeks. "I believe I'm riding in with Becker and uhm... I don't believe that I'll be home tonight."

Connor just looked at Becker evenly. "Hurt her and I'll make you _wish_ you were dead," was all he said before tossing Abby a grin and leaving the bedroom, considerately pulling the door shut behind him.

"Well... at least we know where he stands on it," Becker said, setting the duffel bag down on the bed and digging out his clothing. "And this is the first time in a _long_ time that the spare set of stuff in the car has been used on the morning after something."

Abby was staring after Connor in shock, then she shook her head. "I think he means it." She looked at Becker and grinned. "I'm going to take that as a good thing, then."

"Oh, it is." He dressed quickly, even knowing Abby was watching him.

She was indeed watching him, even as she was lacing up her boots. "You ready to go, then?"

"Good to go," he said as he put his shoes on and stuck his dirty clothes in the duffel bag. And because he couldn't resist, he reached out to grab Abby and pull her in for a quick kiss.

She leaned into him and the quick kiss became a little deeper before she reluctantly pulled back. "We need to go now if we're going to make it in on time."

"Damn need to be on time," he grumbled. "I'll just save it all for later, then."

"Lester counts on us, even if he won't ever tell it to our faces."

"I don't know how I'm going to get through today," Becker complained as he retrieved his jacket.

"You'll get through it by remembering that you get me tonight for as long as you want me."

He shrugged the jacket on and dug his keys out of the duffel bag, where Connor had stashed them. "Believe me, I plan on keeping you busy tonight."

"Is that a promise, Captain Becker?"

He just looked at her, eyes gone dark. "What do you think?"

She swallowed. "I think if we don't leave now, we never will."

All he could do was laugh, shaking his head slightly as he headed for the door.

"This is going to be a long day," she muttered as she followed him out.

 

The day started out pretty much as usual once they'd arrived, thankfully. If Becker watched Abby a little closer than usual, it wasn't too out of the ordinary. He tried keeping things professional, but he couldn't help the little things. Watching her, his hand lingering on her arm as he passed her, standing a little closer than normal.

Abby was doing the same thing, finding herself standing closer to him that she had been before, watching him more when he and his men were securing things at the site. Connor laughed at her once because she had been too distracted by Becker's actions to notice when Sarah had come up behind her to hand her a gun.

Becker couldn't help watching Abby as she worked. There was a grace to everything she did, whatever it was. This observation probably should have told him he had it bad for her, but he already knew that. It was nothing new.

He tried to keep to himself as they did their separate tasks, not wanting to distract her.

Everything was going well until the anomaly opened again and something came speeding out of it. Abby had been standing in the way and before she could move, she felt herself hit by the creature and she was rolling along the ground. She knew that she was going to be aching later, but right now she had to get up and get the terrified juvenile arrhinoceratops back through the anomaly. She got up and ran towards the creature, getting its attention by yelling at it and getting it to chase her back to the open anomaly.

Becker's heart was in his throat as soon as Abby got bowled over; he took a step forward before she was up and on her feet and getting _chased_ by it. "Oh God, Abby," he whispered, praying the terrified look wasn't evident in his eyes.

Not realizing the heart attack she was about to cause in the man watching her every move, Abby got the creature to chase her right up to the anomaly. Taking a breath and hoping she was able to move fast enough, she threw herself to the side right as the arrhinoceratops barreled through it. The creature had just passed the opening when the anomaly closed and then disappeared. Seeing that everyone was all right, she let herself climb back up to her feet, working to catch her breath again.

Connor bolted to her side, under the guise of helping her up. "Way to go," he whispered as she stood. "Our good Captain there looks absolutely terrified."

And it was true. Becker had an expression of wide-eyed terror on his face that he was fighting hard to mask.

She gave Becker what she hoped was a reassuring smile, before focusing her attention on Connor. "Why?" She whispered back. "I'm all right and we've done things like this hundreds of times."

"He hasn't been here for all those times," Connor replied quietly. "And because you two were shagging each other like bunnies this morning. You're an item now. And it's probably scary for him to see his girlfriend get hurt and not be able to run to you like I think he wants to."

Connor was more perceptive than people gave him credit for.

"Oh hell," Abby muttered, leaning over to pretend to check the ties on her boots. "I keep forgetting that he hasn't been here as long as the rest of us. And if I go to let him know that I'm really okay, that's just going to get him and I more attention than we want at work." She chewed on her lip. "I didn't mean to scare him, it was just natural that I go at the poor creature since I'm the one it knocked over."

"I'll go tell him," Connor said, patting Abby's arm. "It won't look as suspicious if I go talk to him."

Becker was just watching them, pulling himself back together and turning his attention back to his men and the task _they_ had at hand. He didn't notice Connor coming over at first.

Abby couldn't help but watch Connor go over to Becker, wishing that she could tell him herself that she was going to be just fine.


	4. Chapter 4

Connor had told him that Abby was fine, that she was going to be all right, but Becker wasn't going to believe that until he saw it for himself, which was why he was seeking her out as soon as they got back to the ARC and he had a chance to look for her.

Abby was in the locker room, putting stuff in her locker and grabbing a fresh shirt to change into since hers was torn and dirty from her rolling on the ground.

The first place Becker checked, almost frantically, was the locker room. "Abby?" he called. "You in here?"

And then he saw her; before he could stop himself, he was moving towards her, lifting her up at the same time as he shoved her up against the lockers and kissed her fiercely, almost desperately.

Abby was caught off guard, but as soon as she realized _who_ had grabbed her, she had no problem latching onto him and kissing him back just as fiercely.

"God, Abby," he whimpered into the kiss, his voice almost a sob. "God. I didn't know it was going to be like that."

"I'm okay. I didn't get hurt," she said softly, running a hand through his hair and doing her best to reassure him. "I'm still in one piece, Becker. It's all right."

This was probably not the time to tell him about the time that Connor's friend attacked her -- or when the mercreature had kidnapped her off of the boat. She was pretty sure that telling him about times she had almost died wasn't going to do a damn thing to make what happened today be any easier on him.

No, definitely not the time. That could come later.

"I know our job is dangerous," he said, kissing her again and nipping at her lower lip. "I know it is. And I've been able to see you in danger and not be scared. Not any more scared than I've been when the others are in danger. But today I saw you get hurt and I couldn't do a damn thing about it."

"But I didn't get hurt, not really. I got knocked about and I'll be bruised tomorrow, but this is nothing." She leaned into him. "And you did do something. I saw you. You were more than ready to shoot that creature if it had turned and charged me with intent to hurt me again. I knew you were there to make sure I was going to come out safe."

"I know I'm not supposed to shoot unless I can't avoid it, but... if something's going to hurt you, it's going down." He kissed her again, tongue tracing along the corner of her mouth. "I'll behave tonight, I promise. I won't touch you."

She blinked and then pulled back to look at him because him kissing her like that was distracting. "What? Why not?" She was incredibly confused. "That's not what I want. Is that what you want?"

"Of course not," he said, reluctant to put her down. "But you just got hurt. You're not going to be in the mood for anything... well. Yes."

Ha. If anything, she'd be _more_ in the mood for it.

"Becker, I said I'm fine. I most certainly don't want you to leave me alone." She leaned her forehead against his, since she was still being held up by him. "Believe me, with as much adrenaline as I’ve got going through me right now, the last thing I want is for you to avoid me."

He laughed softly. "Oh, really? In that case..." His hand slipped slowly up under her shirt.

That would, of course, be when the door banged open.

Two people never moved apart so quickly. Abby was on her feet and reaching into her locker again before the person was even partially through the door.

Becker bit the inside of his cheek hard to stifle a whimper. "I'll see you around, then, yeah?" he said to Abby, taking the risk of touching her arm lightly and mouthing 'Meet me by my car.'

She nodded. "Yeah. Thanks for being out there, today, Captain. It was a relief knowing that if anything went wrong, you had the matters well in hand." The small smile she gave him said that she had been able to see what he'd said.

Becker headed for the hallway and then out to his car, fighting to control his breathing and stay calm. If they hadn't been interrupted, he would've been halfway to shagging her up against the lockers by now. He was still taking controlled breaths as he let himself into the car a moment later.

It didn't take Abby long to get out to his car. She had been checked over -- again -- by the medic and Lester had wanted her opinion of something with the creatures. Finally, when Danny tried to waylay her, Connor had shown up with something that he really needed Danny to look at. While Connor was doing that, she managed to slip out and she was smiling when she climbed into the vehicle beside him.

"Today just isn't our day, apparently," he said, laughing as he looked over at her, barely resisting the urge to lean over and kiss her.

"The medic, one of your men, Lester and Danny!" She laughed. "Thank god for Connor. He distracted Danny so I could get out of there."

"I owe Connor again, then," Becker said with a grin as he started the car. "Because he just made it possible for me to take you home and ravish you all night... if you're up for it."

She gave him a look. "I'm very much up for it," she assured him. "I've been wanting to grab you all day!"

"Well, tonight we get to make up for not being able to," he said, smiling. "You'll probably be sleep-deprived tomorrow morning, just a warning."

"See, there is this wonderful invention called caffeine," she said with a laugh. "It was created especially for those mornings where you are wonderfully sleep-deprived."

"Yeah, and we see how well we managed to consume coffee this morning," he retorted as he pulled out onto the street. One hand on the steering wheel, he reached over with his other hand to take one of her hands and lace their fingers together for a moment.

She looked down at their hands and she smiled, leaning her head back against the seat in a contented fashion. "I'm sure that we can manage not to skip coffee in the morning. Going two days without enough caffeine could be dangerous for anyone around us."

"Though if we're running on the contentment from a night of really, really amazing sex, people might be safe. Wouldn't want to try three days, though. That'd be pushing it."

She giggled and nodded. "Three days would be pushing it," she agreed. "It could be a fun experiment to try in the future."

"You're evil." He squeezed her hand lightly. "I love it."

"Thank you," she squeezed his hand back. "I love that you love it." She paused. "That sounded better in my head."

"It sounded fine to me."

"There is a chance that you might be a bit biased."

"There's a problem with that?"

She shook her head. "No. I kind of like it."

They fell into a companionable silence until they reached his neighborhood about fifteen minutes later. He couldn't help wondering if she remembered any of the area or if she'd been too drunk for that.

She was looking around as he drove and she smiled. "I knew that I had seen a tree like that a few months ago. You have no idea how many times I was tempted to come looking and see if I could find you."

"I wouldn't have minded if you had," he said. "Would've been surprised, but I wouldn't have minded."

"I wanted to, but I talked myself out of it each time."

"Well, now you don't have to worry about it." With their linked hands, he gestured to a building. "That's it up there."

That was a pleased smile on her face. "I did remember most of it correctly. That's a very nice thing to know."

"Maybe you weren't as drunk as you thought you were," he said as he parked. “Especially since you remember most of the, well, the stuff that actually happened.”

"I was pretty drunk," she admitted. "It was how I got the courage to approach you."

"It still amazes me that you were that scared to approach me, that you had to get good and drunk before you could manage it," he said, getting out of the car. "I wasn't that scary, was I?"

"You're gorgeous, Becker. It took me a good bit to get up and come to talk to you."

"I don't like the idea of you being that afraid of me," he said, moving around the car to wrap an arm around her shoulders once she'd gotten out of the car.

She shook her head. "It wasn't you I was afraid of. It was what I wanted to do that I was afraid of. Besides, you have to look at it from my point of view. I'm the punk rock lizard girl, not exactly the girl that guys fancy."

"You're _my_ punk rock lizard girl," he corrected, hugging her against his side.

"I do like the sound of that, you know."

"I'll say it whenever you want." He let them into his building; a moment later, they were in front of his flat.

She smiled up at him. "Keep making offers like that and you'll be calling me at least once a day just so I can hear you say that."

"Failing to see the problem," he retorted, opening the door to his flat and looking at her with a shy smile. "Well... here it is."

Abby wandered in and smiled. "It looks a lot nicer when I'm not lost in a haze," she said softly, going to sit down on the sofa. "I remember that I liked it here. It's peaceful."

"It's not much, but it's mine." He shrugged and went to sit next to her. "I'm glad you like it, though."

She turned to him, leaning her head back against the back of the sofa. "It's a nice place, Becker, and I do like it. It's another piece of you that I'm grateful you let me see."

"You want an important piece I don't let anybody see... you learned my first name yet?" Because he knew he hadn't told her that first night, and he wasn't sure if she'd picked it up yet from anybody they worked with.

"No. It wasn't something you have shared with people, and it would have been in poor taste to go poking around your private business."

"It's Hilary."

"That's pretty." Her eyes widened for a second as she realized her was telling her something no one else knew about him. "Thank you." Her voice was soft.

"You're welcome." He leaned in and kissed her gently, barely brushing his lips against hers. "And thank you for not laughing at my name. I'd have had to pout at you if you had."

Because when a guy laughed at his name, he hit them. That didn't work so well when it was a girl laughing. Plus this was Abby, so even if she had laughed he couldn't have hit her.

"I would never laugh at you," she pointed out gently. "Especially not after you trusted me enough to tell me your name."

"I'm not going to lie, the big appeal is going to be in hearing you say it." He grinned. "Or moan it. I'm good with either."

"Hilary," she said, testing it out. "My Hilary."

He kissed her again, lightly, before pulling back. "I like being yours."

"The feeling is very mutual, I can assure you."

"Speaking of things I like... I like having you here tonight. Knowing for the next few hours, at least, we don't have to face the world."

"That is such a nice feeling. I can't believe how happy I am that you wanted me to be with you tonight."

"And I won't try anything tonight unless you want me to. If you're sure you're not too sore."

Abby tilted her head forward for a second and then she was pressing up against him as she kissed him. It was not a hesitant kiss, nor was it particularly gentle.

Becker groaned into the kiss, wrapping an arm around her waist to keep her close. "I'll take that as a sign to go ahead," he said, laughing shakily.

"I won't break," she assured him. "Today was nothing. I've had a lot worse on the job."

"Just because you're used to getting knocked around on the job doesn't mean you need your boyfriend shagging you so hard you scream his name... which was what the plan originally was."

"I think we should stick to this plan," she nodded firmly. "It's a good plan, the best one that I've heard in a day or two." She ran a hand through his hair. "Good plans should never be wasted, you know."

"Well... you _would_ at least have a reason for walking funny tomorrow, in any case... and you'd even have an excuse of sorts for it, too." He grinned and kissed her soundly.

"Oh, I believe I like that sound of that," she grinned, pulling him towards her as she lay back on the sofa. "I can't think of a better way to spend my evening."

"I've thought about this for months," Becker confessed as he pressed against her, managing to get his shirt off before he was resting most of his weight against her. "Thought about touching you. Kissing you."

"I know it sounds awful, after how I left, but I thought about you, too," she admitted, running her hands along his back. "I wondered if you thought about me or even remembered me."

"Oh, I thought about you," he said, his voice hitting that low, husky tone he'd already discovered she liked. "I very much thought about you. It's probably obscene how much I thought about you, really."

Damn it. He already knew how much that voice sent shivers through her. "You did?" Words, Abby. You can still form words. "I hardly think anything you do could count as being obscene."

"Every time I had a wank in the shower, I was thinking of you."

Abby's eyes widened only slightly at that admission and then she grinned. "I have to admit to that being the first time I've ever been told that. I'm glad that it was me, then."

"Every time I had a wank anywhere, if I'm going to be perfectly honest." The look on his face was completely at odds with what he was saying and the way he was saying it.

She was getting a very nice mental image to go along with what he was saying and shifted herself beneath him. "Yeah? I think that's the best compliment I've ever received."

He stifled a whimper. "And as often as I thought about you, 'every time' is rather a lot, really."

She shifted again and this time she moved her hand between their two bodies and started questing downward. "You thought about me that much?"

"Oh, yes." He resisted the urge to press against her. "I did. And not always in the most appropriate places, either."

She solved that problem by pressing her hand gently against him. "Oh? Like where?" Because this conversation was really interesting to her.

"Assorted restrooms, my sister's flat, the showers at work..." He gasped softly, pressing back against her hand.

Abby was enjoying this discussion quite a lot, as was probably evidenced by the way her eyes were slowly darkening. She pressed her hand against him again, and then curled it so that she could gently squeeze him through the fabric of his pants.

Becker whimpered, pressing against her hand with an odd sense of desperation. "Please," he whispered, not even realizing he'd said it.

"I must have been keeping you pretty busy in your mind, then," she said, her hand gently squeezing him again.

"Uh-huh," he agreed breathlessly. "Especially the past month, when I actually saw you every day."

She was now working to get his pants unfastened and pulling his zipper down so that she could slide her hand into his pants. "You should tell me more so that I know what I can look forward to reading in your eyes when we're trying to keep from touching each other at work, then."

He whimpered again at her touch when she finally got her hand into his pants. "Spent a lot of time thinking about the way you acted that night. I know you were drunk, but you were so aggressive. So dominant. Thought about what it'd be like to have you acting all in control when you were perfectly sober."

She stroked him lightly. "I tend to try to be in control in most situations," she confessed. "Most guys have never been able to handle someone being aggressive like I can be at times." She smiled up into his eyes. "But then, you were causing one hell of a reaction in me before we even touched."

"I was?" he asked, shifting to rest more of his weight on his forearms... which also allowed her a better position for what she was doing. "Tell me about it."

"There was just something about you when I was watching you that night. I was imagining how it would feel to be kissed by you."

He groaned softly. "I'm glad you approached me," he said. "I just wish you hadn't been drunk so you would've felt better about it. But oh God I'm glad you approached me."

She curled her hand around his erection and started stroking him a little more firmly. "I'm not sure I would have had the courage to approach you if I hadn't been drinking. But that night I wanted to be close to you so badly. You're incredibly beautiful and there were others watching you. But it wasn't just your looks that made me want to be with you. It was your eyes."

He bucked against her hand. "My eyes?" he repeated, brow furrowed in confusion. "Why?"

Now she blushed and shook her head. She wasn't sure that he'd be thrilled to know how many romantic notions had gone through her mind that night when she saw him sitting in that pub.

"Abby, tell me," he said softly. "Please?"

"You'll laugh," she said quietly, like she was convinced that he might think her silly for some of the things she was thinking.

"I will _never_ laugh at you," he promised. "Especially not about something like that."

"Your eyes were full of so many things," she started. "They caught my interest immediately. It was like I could look into your eyes and find both answers to everything I was looking for -- and also find questions that I wanted to get the answers to."

"And what questions did you find?" he asked, his voice gone husky again -- but unintentionally so this time.

"You were searching for something," she murmured, dropping her eyes to look at his chest in embarrassment. "I don't know what I thought you might be looking for, but I wanted desperately to help you find it."

"I was," he said with a whimper. "I didn't know what, though. But now I do -- it was _you_."

Her head came up as she looked at him. "You really believe you were looking for me?"

He nodded slightly, hesitantly. Now it was his turn to look away.

She pulled her hand out of his pants and turned his face back to her. "Why?"

"I don't know," he said, fear in his eyes for a second. "I just know that I saw you, and I saw that one guy hitting on you, and it took everything in me not to go over there and chase him off."

"Oh, I would have enjoyed that quite a bit. I was having a hard time not throwing something at the one brunette that kept finding an excuse for her shirt to become more and more revealing every time she came around you."

"She was so pissed that she couldn't get my attention," he said, laughing at the memory. "Oh, was she pissed."

"She wasn't right for you. She didn't care about anything but making a conquest." Abby had seen those type of women before.

"And if you want to make a conquest, fine. Morally dubious, but fine. Just move on to somebody who isn't debating propositioning the hot blonde at the other end of the bar."

She blinked. "Hot blonde?"

"Yeah. Hot blonde."

It took her a moment. "Oh. You mean me."

"Of course I do. Who else would I have meant?"

"I didn't know if there was another blonde that was there that night." She slid her hand back down his chest.

"You're the only one I was looking at."

"It sounds silly to know I was about to be jealous of myself."

He'd promised he wasn't going to laugh, so he stopped it by kissing her. "I meant it, Abby my girl. I only had eyes for you that night."

She kissed him back, then smiled, nuzzling his neck. "Just like you were the only one I was paying attention to that night."

"I think we should move this to my room," he said, smiling at her actions. "Because if something's going to happen the way I want it to happen, the bed's better. And if nothing happens, the bed's still a lot more comfortable than the couch."

She laughed. "I think you're right. The bed would be a lot more comfortable no matter what happens or doesn't happen tonight."

He stood, holding a hand out to her. "Though I'm going to be honest, I'm kind of hoping the evening goes more towards me shagging you until you're screaming my name and less towards the random cuddling."

She grinned, and then jumped up on him, wrapping her legs around his waist. "Yeah?"

He caught her easily, supporting her as she wrapped herself around him. "Oh, yeah."

She kissed him determinedly, nipping at his lower lip.

He moved carefully in the direction of the hall and his bedroom. "I seem to remember carrying you the last time, too."

"Was I doing this?" She tightened her legs around his waist as she pressed against him.

He let out a whimper. "No, no, that one's new," he said, suddenly grateful that his flat was exactly the size it was. They were in his bedroom in another minute or two, and he was moving them over towards the bed.

"Or this?" She used his hips to give her leverage so that she could move herself up and down him a little bit.

"Oh, _fuck_ ," he gasped, hitting the edge of the bed and letting them fall on it.

"Is there a problem, Captain Becker?" Abby asked teasingly.

"No, no problem," Becker said, grinning at her as he worked his hands under her shirt.

She gave a happy kind of sigh while he was doing that. She reluctantly unwound her legs from his waist so she could start moving her hand down the front of his pants in a more comfortable fashion.

He groaned again as her hand slid lower. "I like the way you touch me."

"That's good because I'm not sure that I'll ever be able to resist touching you."

"Feel free to touch me whenever you want."

"Don't say that or we may find ourselves in secluded places inside the ARC whenever I feel that I just have to touch you."

"You say that like I have a problem with it."

She laughed softly. "Oh I can just see that conversation if we were to ever get caught. Sorry, mates, we can't respond to that anomaly call because we're too busy shagging in the corridors. You'll be fine without us though."

He couldn't help laughing. "Oh, so now you're thinking about shagging in the corridors, huh?" he teased.

"I'll shag you anywhere you'll let me."

"That could be problematic, as I'd let you shag me pretty much anywhere."

"We'd never get anything done in that case."

"True. Guess we'll have to content ourselves with shagging after work, then." He squirmed under her hand.

She squeezed gently. "Something you want?"

Another groan. "Fuck, yes."

Apparently he got a mouth on him in certain situations. Who knew?

Abby got a very obvious wicked glint in her eyes as she started trying to divest him of his pants, or at least push them down his hips a bit so she could have better access.

He pulled his hands back, eagerly helping her work his pants down.

When his pants were out of her way, Abby slid herself down along his body so that she could start laying gentle kisses along his abdomen.

Becker shivered. He'd wanted Abby to do this, had thought about it so many times.

She started leaving a trail lower until her lips reached the base of his erection. With gentle movements, she ran her tongue along him.

He gasped softly. "Oh, yes," he muttered, clutching at the bedspread for a moment with one hand.

Encouraged, Abby moved her face to nuzzle his inner thigh before taking the tip of him into her mouth. When she did that, she moved her tongue around him with a slow, teasing motion.

Becker whimpered, hips twitching. "Perfect, Abby my girl. Perfect."

She placed her hands on either side of his legs and took him just a little bit deeper into her throat. She was enjoying the fact that she had made him whimper already.

It was already better than he'd imagined, and he'd been imagining it as far back as the morning after they'd first been together.

Slowly, Abby worked her mouth down his length until she had taken him deep into her throat. When she adjusted to how he felt, she started moving her mouth slowly up and down, using her tongue to increase his sensations as she did so.

"Oh, Jesus, yes," he said, his back arching slightly. "God, Abby, you feel so good." His voice cracked on the last word.

She used his legs to steady herself as she moved along him a little faster. At one point when she had him deep within her throat, she swallowed, knowing her throat muscles would ripple along him.

He moaned loudly, lifting his hips slightly. This was officially even better than he'd imagined; it made him wonder what else he'd imagined would turn out to be better in the actuality.

Lifting his hips gave her a better angle and she moved her hands beneath his legs as she continued to work him with her mouth. Her tongue was not as gentle as it had been before, but she was still being as careful as she could while doing this. Every time he moaned or made any other kind of noise to tell her that he was enjoying what she was doing, she would swallow, letting the walls of her throat tighten around him.

"God, yes," he whimpered. "Oh God, Abby. So close." And if she wasn't careful, she was going to push him right over the edge.

Abby hadn't been worried about being careful about arousing him or about taking him over the edge. In fact, she was very set on making him lose control if the way her mouth was moving up and down him was any indication.

That up and down was all it took; Becker came with a whimper and a moan of her name.

Abby held onto him as he came and when he was finished, she swallowed one more time and then slowly let him fall from her mouth as she sat up.

He lifted his head and looked at her. "God, Abby, the way you get to me." He laughed softly. "You're going to make me start worrying if I've got a problem, woman."

"And what exactly would the problem be?" She asked with a grin. "You have no idea how nice it is on the ego to be told that I get to you."

"It's a little embarrassing to be completely unable to last with you."

"That's like the best compliment a girl can receive," she said gently.

"I'm just hoping it's not some horrible sign of things to come." He smiled at her. "I'd hate if I couldn't give as good in return."

She shook her head. "Sweetheart, I don't believe that you'll have any problem in that area. Really."

He grinned, reaching out to snag her by the wrist and pull her to him. "Why don't we find out, then, hm?"

She let herself be pulled to him and smiled. "I can't think of a better idea than yours." She managed to lean down and nip his neck when he had pulled her close enough.

He gasped at the nip before smirking at her, rolling them over and pinning her beneath him. "I meant what I said, you know," he said, tugging her shirt up. "I'm going to make you scream my name. Or scream, at the very least."

"I'm very much looking forward to you doing that," she said in all seriousness -- while her eyes danced. "So far, I've enjoyed everything we've done together."

"You're never going to regret it," he promised. "Ever."

"I know," she assured him. "I know."

When he'd gotten her shirt off her, he tossed it aside and made short work of her bra. "Oh, so beautiful," he murmured, ducking his head and nipping at the swell of her breasts. "I didn't get to spend nearly enough time properly appreciating you this morning," he said. "I'm going to change that tonight."

Abby lay back with a soft whimper and a shiver. She couldn't believe that she was so blessed that this wonderful man wanted to be with her this way.

Becker smiled against her skin, nipping again before running his skin over the spot he'd just bitten. "I just realized, I don't know the things you like," he said, running his hands up and down her sides.

She had to swallow in order to get words to come out a little more loudly than a breath. "I like everything that you've done so far, sweetheart. Your hands, your tongue... just you being with me has been pretty damn wonderful."

"Yes, but I don't know all the little things that turn you on," he said, giving her a look as he pulled back to unzip her jeans and draw them slowly down her legs. "And I _want_ to know them."

She's never had someone actually ever care enough to ask her that before, so she was at a loss for a moment. Then she gave him a shy smile. "One of the things that turn me on is that thing you do with your voice. The one where you can sound so fierce with that low, almost growly tone."

It took him a second to realize what she meant. "What, this?" he teased, hitting just the right tone as he dropped her jeans to the floor. "I can't help it. You get me wanting to use this voice a lot."

She shuddered, her eyes darkening a little. "Uh huh. That's the one."

"What else?" His tone was more than a little demanding now as he made short work of her underwear and then the rest of his clothing as well. "Tell me."

Oh hi, Becker, watch your girlfriend melt into an Abby-shaped pile of goo.

Thoughts. He wanted her thoughts on what he did or what she liked when she was currently struggling to _form_ thoughts beyond how much she wanted him in her.

"Your hands," she said with a faint whimper. "The way you touch me when you're so aroused and I can tell that all you want to is shag me senseless."

"Oh, you mean like this?" He settled against her, kissing her fiercely and cupping a breast with one hand. "Or like this?" He tweaked her nipple playfully with two fingers.

Abby made a soft keening noise and then nodded. "Yes. Like that."

He grinned and nudged her legs apart. "Want to know what _I_ like?" he asked, his voice purposely hitting that low, husky tone she'd just said she liked.

She looked down her body at him. "What's that?"

He didn't say anything, just entered her as quickly as he could. And then went still, praying he hadn't just overstepped some boundary or other.

Abby gasped and arched up against him. She hadn't been expecting that, but there was no doubt about how much she had enjoyed him making that move as her shaking hands grabbed his shoulders and held on.

"I like surprising you," he said, his voice gone quiet and shy now. "I didn't get much of a chance to do it that first time we were together, and this morning was just about being with each other."

"S-surprise me as often as you like, sweetheart, because it's amazing."

He grinned at that, kissing the corner of her mouth and letting his tongue dart out along her skin. "I'll keep that in mind, then."

She nodded her head. "Oh for fuck's sake, please do."

"I'm not the only one who gets a mouth on them in the heat of passion, it looks like." He started moving slowly against her. "That's another thing I like."

"My mouth," she asked as she closed her eyes, just giving herself a moment to feel him moving against her. She was pretty sure that this was what Heaven probably felt like.

"I love your mouth," he said as he kissed her again. "And I'm really quite the fan of feeling your mouth on me." He pulled back to smile at her. "And I'm _definitely_ a fan of what you just did to me."

She smiled up at him. "I'm glad you liked that because I have to admit, I loved doing that to you."

"You know what's amazing right now? That we have all night to be with each other," he said. "To just... enjoy each other."

She nodded. "It is amazing. I never thought I'd ever get something like this and I love it."

"We'll have to grab nights like this as often as we can," he said, experimentally thrusting harder.

Abby gasped, her hips trembling against him as she tried to meet his eyes. "I'm all in favor of that. I like having the time to spend together with you."

"This is much, much better than all the quick moments I imagined us grabbing at work," he said, laughing shakily as he thrust harder, settling into a hard fast rhythm.

"Oh god, me too," Abby managed to gasp out as she found her body matching the rhythm that Becker was setting for the two of them right now. "Lot easier, too."

"I'm definitely still wanting that locker sex moment, though," he said. "Because that'd just be hot." He hesitated. "Speaking of lockers... I'm sorry for the way I reacted earlier."

"Sorry whu?" Because Abby was a little distracted by the way her boyfriend -- and she was allowed to think of him as her boyfriend, right? -- was making her feel.

"For overreacting when you got hurt. For slamming you against the lockers and kissing you."

"You don't have to apologize for that, sweetheart. The team and the work is still new to you. Sometimes there are injuries. I was bumped and bruised but I wasn't hurt. However, you seeing me go down like that... it had to upset you." Not scared. She didn't know if she could get away with telling him that seeing her get hurt had every logical right to scare him.

"It didn't upset me, Abby," he said, fighting the urge to look away. "It scared me shitless. Because for a split second, I thought I was going to lose you before I'd even had a chance to really start anything with you."

She lifted her head, her eyes soft. "I'm sorry that you were scared, Becker, but don't you think it will take more than an anomaly creature to cause you to lose me?"

He stilled against her. "It doesn't always take something big to make you lose someone."

"You won't lose me. I'm yours and no one can take that away from you. They'd die if they tried."

He just looked at her at that, wide-eyed. "You mean that?"

"I want to be yours as long as you want to have me and be mine," she said shyly. "I'm not about to let any person or thing that me away from you."

"How's forever work for you?" he said as he resumed the rhythm.

"I'd love to have forever with you, Becker," she said softly -- even if she didn't really believe in forever love.

"Forever it is, then," he said, the gentle look on his face turning dark. "Or as long as we can possibly steal."

She nodded. "Forever or as close to forever as we can get. As long as I have some time with you beyond this week, you'll have yourself a happy girl."

"You can have as long as you want, Abby my girl." His grin was dangerously close to a smirk as he said, "Now, I believe we'd said something about making you scream my name. Think I'd like to get back to that, if you don't mind."

She shook her head. "I don't mind at all if you do." She whimpered. "Please."

He rested one hand on her hip, the other hand touching her face gently, at contrast with the hard, fast way he was thrusting into her.

Abby let her head fall back and hook her ankles around his legs as she tried to move in his exact rhythm. Every time he thrust into her, she would arch up, bringing him in deeper.

"Oh, fuck," he hissed when one combination of her arching and his thrusting buried him in her as deeply as he could be in her. "That's it, Abby. That's my girl."

Abby was tightening her hands in the blanket beneath her as she arched her hips up against him again. She loved hearing him talking to her while they were having sex. It just added one more thrill.

"God, this is _perfect_ ," he gasped, not wanting to hurt her but at the same time just _needing_ to see how rough she was comfortable with him getting.

Her digging her nails into his shoulders while she kept telling him yes should be a good indicator that she was very much enjoying what he was doing. "God, Becker. God, Love."

"No," he corrected, his voice not quite the growl she loved. "Not Becker."

"Hilary," she whisper as she whimpered against him.

That was exactly the urging he needed to thrust even harder, burying his face against her neck as he moved against her.

She squirmed up against him, wanting to touch him as much as she could right now. His naked chest pressing against her was causing sensations to spread throughout her body.

He had to bite the inside of his cheek hard to keep from saying something he shouldn't -- namely, that he loved her. So since he couldn't say it, he settled for the next best thing and pressed against her as he thrust.

Abby made a low mewling sound in her throat and ran her nails down his back, needing to feel him going deeper into her. She was trying to be careful what she said right now because she didn't want to ruin the moment.

As far as he was concerned, this moment was perfect -- even more perfect than their first night together. He was close, so damn close, but she'd already pushed him over the edge once that evening; she wasn't going to manage that one again.

Abby dug her fingers into his shoulders, trying to move up against him. She wanted to be as close to him as their bodies could be. She was in a perfect state of happiness and she could only see it getting so much better.

"You're fucking perfect," he said, his voice settling into the not quite a growl she liked. "You're perfect and you're _mine_." And God help anybody who tried to take her away from him.

"I like being yours," she moaned softly at the tone of his voice. Of course, she couldn't help but wonder what her body would do if actually growled at her. " _Mine_ ," she repeated.

He still couldn't believe that she wanted him, that she wanted to _claim_ him. He couldn't say what he wanted to say, wasn't going to ruin the moment like that -- and saying it _would_ ruin the moment. So he settled for a close second, putting his lips by her ear as he growled quietly.

Oh god, that growl! She arched against him again, making a whimpering sound. Becker seemed like he was determined to get her to scream his name at least once tonight and he was off to a good start.

He laughed softly at the whimper. "That's it," he encouraged. "That's my Abby, my beautiful Abby. Don't be afraid to let go, love. I can tell you want to."

"You're driving me a little crazy, love," Again, she didn't realize she had that as she tightened herself around him.

"Only a little?" he teased, whimpering in her ear. "Then obviously I'm not doing a very good job tonight."

"You said we had all night," she whimpered, lifting up against him. "Surely the night has a great deal of time left."

"Oh, we do." He nipped at her earlobe. "I just want every time we're together to be memorable."

"I love this," she murmured. "What you're doing to me and making me feel... just being here with you at all no matter what."

"This is just so much better than I dared hope," he said with a whimper of his own. "Because I didn't dare let myself hope I'd be able to be in bed with you all night long."

Yeah, sleep was so not happening for them.

"I've always wanted to be with you a full night, Becker. I wanted to go back so many times to see you."

"I thought about that," he admitted. "Thought about you having a change of heart. Finding you at that bar again."

"I almost did once or twice, but then chickened out."

"I wish you hadn't," he said, going still for a moment before thrusting forcefully. "But I get why you did."

"Wanted you so badly," she gasped, tightening herself around him. "Wanted to see you. Was convinced you wouldn't want to see me."

"I would never not want to see you," he said, giving her a breathless grin. "Ever."

"I know that, _now_ ," she said with a smile, tugging gently at a lock of his hair.

"I love that you remembered the hair thing," he said, ducking his head to kiss her.

"That was easy," she murmured against his mouth. "I remember playing with your hair and how you reacted when I tugged it accidentally."

"I remember that," he said. "And I remember what your reaction to it was, too."

She purred lightly against his throat. "You mean this?"

"Uh-huh," he said distractedly, his voice strained.

"I'll keep that in mind," she said softly, nuzzling at his collar bone.

"God, the way you make me feel," he whispered, his movements against her almost frantic all of a sudden.

"The feeling is very much mutual," she responded as she made sure her legs were wrapped snugly around his.

His thrusts were short, sharp, and hard now. He was going to push her over the edge first if it killed him.

Abby made a mewling noise as he moved like that. "God, I love it when you get so determined."

"Yes, well, I have my reasons."

She made a soft moan before she could speak again. "Reasons?"

"Yes. Reasons."

"What reasons?" It took her a moment to get that question out. She was very distracted.

"I'm proving something to myself right now."

She blinked, then closed her eyes for a moment. "What." She gasped. "Prove?" There was a full question in there somewhere.

"That I'm enough." Hi, issues, we knew you'd join them eventually!

Abby's eyes flew open and she grabbed his face. "Repeat that." Her voice had turned into a growl, that would have probably been sexy at any other time.

"That I'm enough," he repeated quietly, going still against her.

"Why." Her voice was as even as she could make it. "Would you think otherwise?"

"Because of that first night. Until you told me about Stephen and why you'd been drinking, I thought you'd left because I wasn't enough for you."

"No." Her voice was shaking when she processed what he had just said. "That wasn't it at all. If you weren't..." She shook her head. "Damn it. How could you think that after what you know now and this morning and all day?"

"Because sometimes I'm a lot more insecure than I let on." He kissed her lightly, cautiously, knowing he had to say the right thing now. "And you're right. After all that, I _do_ know it. But knowing it and seeing it are two different things. And seeing you go completely unhinged because of what I'm doing to you... it's _proof_ that I've been an idiot for the past four months."

"Hilary..." She didn't know what to say. She didn't have experience with a guy being insecure because of _her_. It was usually the other way around. "I dreamt about you for months," she finally said. I wanted nothing more than to find you again and be with you because the way you made me feel that night... no one has ever made me feel like that in my life. No one." She swallowed. "And I haven't even thought about touching anyone else since that night, either."

He stared at her for a moment, wide-eyed. He hadn't dared hope she'd thought about him all that much during the past few months, but... she'd actually dreamed about him? And four months... that meant she'd dreamed about him since they'd met again.

"I like the sound of that." He gave her another cautious smile, not exactly afraid of her reaction but knowing what he'd said hadn't come out right in the first place. "Especially if it's been for four months."

"Yeah. Ever since that night I was with you, Becker. I didn't leave you because of anything you did or didn't do. She sat up slightly so she could look into his eyes. "I left so that when you got the sober reality of who I really am, you wouldn't be disappointed. I wanted to leave you with good memories of me. Memories that you could smile about if you ever thought of me again. I didn't want to ruin it for you. I thought that we had both been so drunk that you wouldn't be as invested as I found myself wanting to be."

She chewed her lip. "When you got hired for the ARC, I started dreaming about you non-stop." She swallowed, staring into his eyes for a long moment before looking down at his chest and then her hands on her lap. "I tried to avoid it and not say anything, but Connor figured out really quick that I'm in love with you."

He'd pulled back to sit, giving her enough space to say what she needed to say; this was what gave him the ability to stare at her, wide-eyed. "Is... is he right or is this Connor being wildly off-base about something again?"

God, he knew which one he was hoping for.

She shook her head. "I love you." Her voice was very soft. It wasn't something she had ever said to a guy out loud before and she wasn't sure how this was going to change what relationship they were trying to forge.

The way his face lit up would probably be an indicator. "I love you, too," he said, reaching out to trail a finger down her cheek. "I wanted to say it first, but I didn't want to give you the wrong impression."

She looked up at him in surprise. "You do?"

"I do," he said with a nod. "I think I loved you from the first time you touched me."

"I'm not very good at saying it," she warned. "But, I do love you. I think that's why I ran, because the connection was so tense and I didn't want to ruin it."

"As long as you say it on special occasions, I don't care if you never say it otherwise," he said, leaning in to kiss her gently. "I love you, Abby Maitland, and I apologize for ruining the moment just now."

Abby's relief was a physical thing when he kissed her and told her that he felt the same way. "I love you Captain Hilary Becker. Even if I don't say it, it's true." She shook her head. "Don't apologize. Just tell me that you don't have that kind of doubt any longer."

"I don't have a doubt in the world," he assured her. "Consider all doubts officially gone."

She leaned up and kissed him shyly. Strange how admitting her feelings made her shy when a few moments ago she was trying to attack him.

He returned the kiss gently, letting his hand cup her cheek. "Is there any way I can salvage the shag or do I need to just give it up?" he asked, laughing softly against her lips.

"I want you, Hilary," she said softly. "Even more now."

"Then you can have me. However you want me, you can have me."

There were tears in her eyes as she pulled him back down to kiss him deeply. "Mine," she murmured. "My Hilary. My Becker. My Captain. Mine."

"Yours," he agreed, whimpering into the kiss. "Always yours."

"Am I yours?" Because she needed to know that this claim did indeed go both ways for them.

"Yes," he said simply. "If you want to be mine, then you're mine."

"I want to be yours."

"Then you're mine." He kissed her deeply.

Abby couldn't help the moan that both his claim and kiss caused her to make. Being with him felt right. It felt perfect. It was a real bond and not just two friends shagging each other.

He cautiously pushed her down onto her back again. "Love you," he whispered, just because he felt like saying it.

She went down, and her eyes were on his. "Love you. So much, Hilary."

"I don't think tonight could get any more perfect," he said, settling between her legs again and entering her slowly.

She shook her head. "No, I don't think it could." How could it? She had just told the man she hadn't been able to get out of her head since a drunken one night stand that she loved him -- and he loved her in return.

He couldn't help smiling at her as he found a much slower, more gentle pace this time. "Have I told you lately how utterly amazing you are?"

She smiled up at him, but shook her head. "Why do you think I'm so amazing?"

"Because you're you," he said simply, stubbornly.

She gave him a soft laugh. "Anyone ever tell you that you lack logic in some of your answers to questions?"

"It doesn't have to seem logical to be the truth."

"By whose logic," she teased softly, running her hands slowly along his back.

"By mine," he said, swearing inwardly. He was trying to tell her, to show her that he didn't care about anything except that she wanted to be his... and it wasn't coming out right.

"I think you're pretty amazing, too," she whispered, running her fingers over his cheek. "Very amazing and that fact that we belong to each other just makes you even more amazing."

"You're beautiful and fierce and smart and funny and loyal and so many other things," he whispered, going for words instead of a lack of them.

"I love how you do that. How you make me seem so special and so important."

"It's because you _are_ special and important," he said fiercely.

"I believe you," she assured him. "More importantly, I feel it. I see it in your eyes."

"I wanted to say it without words," Becker said. "It didn't work. But that doesn't change the fact that it's _true_."

She smiled at him. "You have ways with and without words, my love."

"But I'm not very good with either, and I _want_ to be."

"Have you noticed that I'm not one with the words, either? We seem to be handling it just fine and I don't feel you need to be better at any of it."

"You're doing better with words than I am," he said, kissing her gently as he thrust. "You're the one who managed to say words that you were terrified of saying."

He was ridiculously perceptive sometimes.

Abby whimpered, not being able to think for a moment. "It was a lot less scary when you agreed with me. I've never said those words to anyone like this before. I mean not that what we have is anything I've had before but..."

"I've only said 'I love you' to one other person besides you," Becker said with a grin, kissing her again.

She grinned back. "I'm going to be good and not ask."

"You can if you want, though."

She thought about it and then shook her head. "No," she said softly. "Knowing that you love me is all of the information that I need."

He smiled and kissed her tenderly. "All right, then. But if you ever feel like you need to ask, you can and I won't mind." With that, he fell silent, losing himself in moving against her.

Abby whimpered, her arms coming around him to hold onto him so that she could keep him close to her. He was making it very difficult to keep any kind of a thought in her head beyond how he was making her feel.

He'd be happy to know that part -- he was damn near actively trying to drive all thought or reason from her head.

It was working very well. Abby kept trying to say things to him, but all that was coming out was a series of gasps and once or twice she even managed to say his name.

He just liked making her react, whatever the reaction. "That's my girl," he whispered, kissing the corner of her mouth. "That's my Abby."

She whimpered, turning her head so that she could try to catch his mouth long enough to kiss him properly. "Fire," she finally managed to say. "You make me feel like everything is on fire." She would feel embarrassed later for saying something like that.

"And do you like that, Abby my girl?" Oh hi, growly aggressive Becker. We missed you!

She nodded and then nodded again. "Yes! God!" Growly aggressive Becker was definitely an experience she enjoyed.

"If I didn't make you feel like that every time we're together, I'd think something wasn't right." He definitely brought an intensity to everything.

"Nothing wrong," she assured him, shaking her head and burying her face in his shoulder. "Love this. Love you."

She'd already said it more than he'd expected to hear her say it, and hearing her say those words made him feel amazing.

"That's my girl," he whispered, now purposely keeping his thrusts slow and gentle. There was more than one way to tease her into a screaming orgasm, after all.

Abby whimpered, her hands opening and closing against his back. She had always prided herself on her remarkable control, but he was steadily starting to to strip that away layer by layer.

He was enjoying being able to strip that control away, because he'd give it back as soon as they were done. "That's it, love," he whispered in her ear, moving slowly.

"Becker," she whimpered, holding onto him. "Hilary..." She wasn't even sure right now what she was trying to say. Every move he made was pushing her closer and closer to the edge.

"I love it when you use my name," he said, suppressing a gasp.

She was starting to tremble. She tugged lightly at his hair as she whimper out his name again.

"That's it," he whispered again, his breath hot against her ear. "You're so close, Abby my girl. Just let yourself go. You know you want to. It'll feel _so_ good and you know it."

When he talked like that, it was hard to remember what she had been doing. The next time he thrust into her, she made a keening noise and buried her head in his neck as she came.

It was the keening that completely undid him; he lasted another thrust or two before he came with a sharp breath of air against her ear and a whimper low in his throat.

Abby just held onto him as they both rode out their orgasms. She probably couldn't have let go of him right now if she wanted to.

"Mm, think I found another thing you like," he murmured, lips still against her ear. "It's a thing I like, too."

"What's that?" she whispered.

"Me talking like this," he said, tracing his tongue along the outer edge of her ear. "All quiet and dirty."

Abby nodded, still shuddering from the intensity of her orgasm. "Yes, I liked that."

"I'll have to remember that for the future." He nipped lightly at her ear before pulling back.

"No," Abby pouted, holding on. "Just lay here like this with me for a few."

"All right, then," he said, smiling slightly as he settled against her again.

She smiled, nuzzling his chest lightly. She liked this feeling. It was real and it was a lot better than she had ever imagined it would feel.

"Penny for your thoughts," he said after another moment or two as he rolled onto his side, gathering her against him.

"They're not very interesting," she murmured, laying her head against his chest and listening to his heart beat.

"Of course they are," he said. "They're yours."

"I was just thinking about how perfect and content I feel being here with you."

Becker smiled at that. "That's all I want," he said. "For you to feel content with me."

"It's more than content. I don't know how to explain what I'm feeling right now."

"You feel safe," he guessed. It was a reasonable one, he thought.

"Yes, but it's more than that. I'm safe because you want me here with you." She said shyly. "You want me... and not just for some hidden shag."

"I very much want you here with me," he said. "And if we could get away with it, I wouldn't hide what we've got at all."

"But we have to hide it at work so no one decides that we can't do our job properly if we're involved with each other."

"And that is the _only_ reason I'm hiding it, Abby my girl."

She nodded. "I know that. I wasn't saying that you'd want to hide me like some dirty little secret."

"I know you weren't," he assured her. "I just thought it was something you could do with hearing, is all."

"I could do with hearing it. Sometimes words have power even when you already know things."

"Because it's a confirmation that I think or feel the same way you do about us."

She nodded. "Yeah, like that."

"I love you, Abby. And I really don't care who knows it."

"I don't care who knows it, either. I just don't want people at work to hassle you about it, yeah?"

"Why does it bother you so much if I get hassled?" he asked curiously.

"Because I don't like the idea of you being given any crap about anything. But I most especially don't want to be the cause of that treatment to you."

"My men wouldn't dare."

She lay her head back in a comfortable position on his chest. "I hope for their sakes they don't."

"If they do, they'll have to deal with me and I'm not pleasant when I'm pissed off."

She lifted her head to rest her chin on his chest so that she could see his eyes. "You'd really chew them out about me?"

"In a heartbeat," he replied seriously.

She leaned up and gave him a gentle kiss. "That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me."

He smiled against her lips. "It's the truth."

She smiled and then ducked her head to lay on his chest again. "I'm glad you gave me another chance."

"And I'm glad you gave me a proper chance."

"I'm glad for that, too."

"But most of all, I'm glad Connor convinced me to come see you last night. Because if he hadn't... I wouldn't have."

She moved her head on his chest, trying to figure out the right words to say. "If you hadn't, we would still be completely miserable."

"Probably, yeah," he agreed softly. It wasn't the most palatable idea ever.

"But he did and you came and we're here now," she murmured. "So far, it's worked out pretty well this way."

"I admit, I had plans for you tonight, but... this is good, too. I'm happy just curling up with you." He just liked being near her, however that was defined as.

"We can do your plans some other time? I mean, it's not like we're on a time schedule or have an expiration date, right?" She smiled. "I'm happy being held like this by you."

"And I'm happy holding you." He grinned. "Besides, the night's still young. Who knows what'll happen?"

She laughed softly, snuggling against him, kissing his chest before she settled back down. "You're right in that. As long as no anomalies open up tonight, we have all night to be together."

Becker just laughed, held her close, and prayed there wouldn't be any anomalies.

For the first time in quite a long time, Abby felt relaxed and she closed her eyes, lightly dozing in his arms.

He could have dozed off himself, but Becker waited until Abby had clearly fallen asleep before letting his eyes drift closed.

Abby had no problem falling asleep in Becker's arms. She was relaxed and she knew she was loved, so that made her sleep restful and easy.


	5. Chapter 5

Becker woke in the middle of the night, he wasn't quite sure when exactly. All he knew was that Abby was curled tightly against him. He smiled to himself and just lay there, holding her in his arms and letting his mind wander.

"What are you thinking about?" Her voice was soft as she disturbed the silence.

"Nothing important," he said before amending, "Well, important, but nothing urgent."

She lifted her head so that she could rest her chin on his chest and look into his eyes with a question in hers.

"I like waking up in the middle of the night and seeing you," he said softly. "I'm not going to like it when you're not here."

She kissed his chest lightly before looking at him. "I'm seeing a lot of sleepovers in our immediate future when we can manage it."

"I like the thought of that."

"I'm glad." She tilted her head. "You have really intense eyes all the time, but right now, you seem to have become very relaxed."

"That's because I am," he said. "I'm with somebody I love and trust."

"I won't ever make you regret trusting me, Becker," she said solemnly.

"I know you won't." He smiled gently. "Now go on, go back to sleep. I didn't mean to wake you up."

"You didn't wake me. I'm a light sleeper."

"All the more reason for you to go back to sleep." Even if he _was_ already entertaining thoughts of pouncing her again. Hey, he was a perfectly normal young man. Of course he'd be having those thoughts about his girlfriend.

She ran her nails lightly along his chest.

He shivered slightly as she did that. "Not helping."

"What am I supposed to be helping with?"

"Me _not_ jumping you."

"Why would I be helping with that?"

"You _were_ asleep a few minutes ago."

"And now I'm awake, watching my gorgeous boyfriend."

He grinned at that. "In that case..."

She raised an eyebrow. "Oh, and what have you got in mind?"

"That depends," he said, still grinning.

"On what?"

"You," he said, his voice gone soft and quiet. "On what you're in the mood for right now."

"You," she said just as quiet. "Always you."

He shifted slightly on the bed, moving to kiss her tenderly. "I want it to be just as good for you as it will be for me," he said, cupping the back of her neck. "That means working in some of what you like."

She smiled against his lips. "Does that mean you're going to growl at me and get that possessive tone in your voice and actions again, then?"

"It's always possible," he said with a smile of his own.

"I like it when things are possible with you." She realized how silly that sounded after she said it and buried her face in his chest with embarrassment.

"I know what you mean," he said, idly running a hand over her shoulder.

"It sounded better in my head," she mumbled into his chest.

"It sounded fine to me," he said. "Because I get it. You're not stuck with just thinking about me anymore. Everything you've thought of is actually something that really could happen now."

She nodded, laying her head back on his chest normally. "That's what I was trying to say," she agreed. "It's a reality and not just a quiet fantasy any longer."

"I don't want you to be quiet with me," he said. "Whether it's something you're thinking about or it's when we're actually together. I like hearing you."

She tilted her head back up to smile at him. "Even if they're thoughts about completely nonsensical things?"

"Even if," he said. "Because they may be completely nonsensical things, but they're _your_ completely nonsensical things."

"I might babble about creatures if I get excited enough, you know?"

"Abby..." He sighed. "Do you really think I'm going to mind?"

She sighed as well and met his eyes. "I know," she said softly. "I'm just not used to feeling at ease with talking to someone like I'm feeling with you."

He smiled sheepishly. "I just like hearing you talk," he said. "No matter what it's about."

She leaned up to kiss him. "I like hearing you talk, too. You're usually pretty quiet at work unless you're giving orders at a site."

"I'm not much of a talker... unless I'm annoying my sister, in which case she's actually tried _paying_ me to shut up." He returned the kiss gently. "It never works."

"Is she going to like me, or should I hide?"

"She's going to love you," he assured her. "She's... a lot like me, actually."

She snuggled back against him. "I'm trying not to be nervous, but I've never cared like this before and I want your family to like me."

"They will," he assured her. "And really, if my sister likes Danny freakin' Quinn, she'll love any of the team."

Abby laughed. "He's not that bad. I thought Jenny was going to kill him when he arrested Connor."

"Yeah, my sister's shagging Quinn. I have entirely new reasons for disliking him now." But there was a cheerful note in Becker's voice. “I’m still not entirely sure how they met and I don’t think I want to know.”

She smiled at him. "At least he's not someone you see every day? I think it would be harder for you to be nice to him if he worked with us. Which is just as well," she shrugged. "He doesn't seem to like us very much."

"If I had to see him every day, I think I'd probably kill him." More the overprotective big brother thing than anything else... even if he _didn't_ like Quinn.

"So it's a good thing for him and me, then," she said logically. "Because you killing him would cause you to not be on sites with us any longer and I would miss getting to see you."

"I like your logic," he said, letting his hand slide from her arm down along her side. "Now, weren't we talking about something else..."

"Talking?" she asked softly. "Were we talking?" She leaned slightly into him, then ran a line of kisses along his chest.

"In a way," he said, whimpering slightly. " I was trying to figure out what you wanted."

"I'm pretty sure that I told you that all I'll ever want now is you. Any way and every way." She smiled. "Oh, and if you growl again. I liked that."

He just grinned at her, wrapping an arm around her and pulling her up so he could kiss her soundly. "In that case, let me rephrase. Anything you wouldn't want? Otherwise I won't really be thinking in terms of that."

Kissing was good. Kissing Becker was wonderful and it made her forget for a moment what they were talking about. When she got her breath back, she shook her head. "Not that I can think of right now."

"Okay, then," he said before gently shifting them so she was on her back. "We stumble on anything in the no category, tell me." And then he was kissing his way slowly, oh so slowly, down her neck.

"Okay," she agreed, shivering as he kissed her neck. Her neck was one of the sensitive parts on her body and she loved having it played with.

He loved kissing Abby pretty much anywhere on her body, but her neck was one of his favorite spots. And he knew it was one of her sensitive spots, too. Made him wonder what she'd do if he bit her. Not hard, but more than a little nip.

So, curious, he bit gently.

That had an instant reaction from his girlfriend. She gave a gasp and arched her body up against his, while at the same time tangling one of her hands in his hair. "Oh god," she murmured.

"Want me to stop?" he asked, his voice not quite a growl.

"No," she whimpered. "God no, don't stop."

"Wasn't planning on it," he confided, biting sharply but still not enough to hurt beyond the sharp tinge of pain that was also part pleasure.

It was also a complete lie -- he'd have stopped in a heartbeat if she wanted.

Abby moaned loudly and tugged at his hair lightly. "That feels... I like that. I like that so much."

"Mm, so you like being bitten," he murmured, soothing his tongue over the bitten spots. "Interesting. And not something I'd have expected."

"That's never felt so good before," she murmured, trembling slightly. "Anyone else that ever tried that got hit. But you..." She swallowed. "God."

"I've never thought of doing this before," he admitted. "I was just trying to think of something different."

"You can do that as many times as you want," Abby said softly. "It felt... I like it a lot."

His only response was to bite again, as his hands wandered down to stroke her sides.

Abby wasn't even able to forms words this time as she turned towards him, reaching to pull him closer to her.

Becker pressed against her, lips still against her skin. "I hate the idea of anybody else doing this to you," he admitted, nipping playfully now. "But I love that you don't mind me doing it."

"You don't need to worry about anyone trying to do it ever again," she whispered. "I'm yours now." The person that tried to touch her that wasn't Becker was going to be in for some serious pain.

He grinned at that. "What do you want now, Abby?" he murmured. "More of this or something else entirely?"

He wanted her to try and _think_ right now?

"I want you, Becker."

He was mean like that sometimes, yes.

"How, though?" he pressed, something that wasn't quite desperation but was close to it in his voice. "Because if you let me just go for it..."

"Yes." She knew what she was saying. She wanted Becker. She wanted all of him and was curious to see what he would do without the levels of control she knew he was holding onto.

"Promise me you won't hate me if I do something you don't like," he said as he moved up slightly to kiss her. "That makes you uncomfortable. Tell me and I'll stop, but promise me you won't hate me for that initial doing of it."

She blinked and then shook her head, caressing his face gently with her hands. "I could never ever hate you."

With that, he grabbed her hands, pinning them easily above her head with one hand, easily using enough pressure that she couldn't readily pull away but not so much that it hurt. He'd settled against her and now, nudging her legs apart, he entered her quickly.

Abby was surprised, but not at all distressed by his actions. Her eyes flared wide for a moment and then she was lifting her hips up to him in order to urge him deeper.

He groaned at that, pulling back to very nearly withdraw entirely before he was thrusting forcefully. He didn't want to hurt Abby, really he didn't, but he'd thought about doing this for months.

It definitely wasn't pain that Abby was feeling if the motion of her nails down his back was any indication. She whimpered softly and felt herself moving up against him, enjoying every move he made.

He'd let her hands go as soon as he was inside her that first time and now, oh God he was glad he had. That sharp drag spurred him on, repeating the nearly withdrawing and then burying himself in her harshly, almost roughly.

She kept moving her hands along his back and shoulders, whispering his name. When he moved roughly, she arched her hips up to meet him, wanting him to see that she was enjoying this as much as he was.

Jesus, she was perfect. That she was putting up with this and not complaining meant the world to him. That she seemed to be enjoying it meant even more. He barely hesitated before thrusting even harder. He would've apologized for hurting her -- and he knew it had to be hurting now -- if not for that whole pesky lack of coherent thought thing.

If he was hurting her, then she wouldn't have realized it at this point. She was experiencing so many sensations that she wasn't sure she could have given name to any of them. She was very much enjoying the way he was making her feel and would tell him later that she had never felt like this before. Every time he moved, she could feel her body adjusting to match his movements or to fit against him better.

And if he _had_ hurt her, he'd apologize later... and then spend the next few days smirking every time someone noticed her wincing.

One hand had settled against her hip lightly; his grip tightened now, almost painfully.

She was going to have bruises in some places tomorrow, but she didn't care. If she winced or moved funny over the next few days, she would smile and tell people who commented to mind their own damn business. She managed to turn her face so that she could meet his eyes, hoping that she was able to show him what she wasn't able to put into words. Namely, how much she loved him and how he was affecting her.

And when he was rational again, Becker would be a little unhappy with himself for wanting to go at her so hard; since he was anything but rational at the moment, he was more than content to keep up the punishing rhythm. It was entirely possible -- and quite the fact -- that he didn't even completely realize what he was doing anymore.

If this was how he got when he was irrational, then Abby would have to make a note to try to rid him of rationality more often. She moaned quietly and moved a hand back to tangle in his hair, tugging at it gently since he hadn't seemed to mind that before. She needed to pull his face level with hers because she wanted to kiss him so damn badly right now.

Her tugging at his hair was a surefire way to get his attention -- and control of him. He lifted his head slightly, looking into her eyes.

She whispered his name and pulled his face down to hers so that she could kiss him. She put every bit of love and need for him into that kiss as best as she could.

He returned the kiss almost painfully. This woman was _his_ and he was going to damn well make sure she knew it.

She had no problems with him making sure she knew this and her lips parted further under his, not resisting his staking a claim on her.

He moaned softly, the sound muffled by her mouth. She was his and she knew it and oh God, she _wanted_ to still be his when he was doing this. He nearly sobbed in relief.

Abby tightened her hold on him, exploring his mouth with her tongue as her body matched his movements. He was who she wanted and he was who she belonged with. She was his and she would keep doing whatever she needed to do to continue to keep him convinced of that.

And God he loved her for that. That willingness. That fierce driving passion.

Becker came a moment later, suddenly, with a muffled moan of her name and a tightening of his already clenched grip on her hip.

Abby had already been fighting to hold herself together, so when she felt Becker come, she lost control of her own body and bucked up against him.

Becker rode it out, slumping against her. "Oh, Jesus Christ."

"Wrong resurrection," Abby murmured, slumping back onto the pillows.

He couldn't help laughing at that as he rolled onto his side.

She curled into him when he lay back down. "Wow," she whispered.

He skimmed his hand over her hip carefully. "That's... not like me."

She lifted her head to put it onto his chest. "I don't remember complaining, love."

"You didn't. I'm just saying, that's rather atypical of me."

She smiled. "But did you enjoy yourself?"

"Hell yes I did."

"I did, too. Very much."

"I'm a tad embarrassed at the moment, though," he admitted.

She lifted her head so that she could see his face. "You are? Why?"

"Because I'm pretty sure my brain just checked out for that entire thing."

"Is that a creative way of saying we shagged our brains out?"

"Oh, yeah." Becker grinned lazily. "I haven't let go like that in ages."

She grinned back at him. "I hope you decide to do it often, then."

"Oh, Abby." The tone in his voice was wistful. "I wish I could. But if I did it as often as I'll be tempted... you'd never be walking normally."

She laughed softly, rolling onto him so she could look down into his face. "Well, not every time we're together."

"Even so." He smiled up at her. "It was really nice letting go, Abby. Thank you for letting me."

"Thank you for trusting in me enough to do so." She leaned down and kissed him.

"It was scary at first," he admitted. "Because I was afraid you'd hate it and tell me to stop. And I would have. But I wouldn't have _wanted_ to stop."

"Becker... Hilary, listen to me. I could never, ever hate you. I could also never hate anything that we do together. Whether it's soft and gentle, or unrestrained. It's us together and I will never not like that."

"Because even if you hadn't wanted the roughness right then, it wouldn't have meant you'd never want it," Becker said, smiling gently at her. "I'm just not sure I'm fond of the idea of you telling me no and me not wanting to stop. Not fond of what that says of me as a person, I mean."

"It doesn't say anything about you besides the fact that you're passionate, Becker. And if I said no, you would have stopped without a second thought -- no matter what you wanted or what your body was telling you to do. You would have stopped because I'm important to you and you would have wanted to do what I was comfortable with."

"And then I would've been ridiculously frustrated." He thought about it for a second. "Though really, it's not like if you'd said no, you wouldn't have found an equally enjoyable alternative."

She smiled down at him. "There is that. I believe I could have found some way to work the frustration out of your system."

He grinned up at her. "Just promise me something, okay?" he asked, his expression going serious. "Take it easy tomorrow at work. Stay out of the field. I know I can't keep you from working, I'd just feel better about it if you weren't so sore your first day afterwards."

She looked down him and nodded. "I can't promise to stay out of the field completely, but I will promise that I will take it as easy as I can. It's not like we get a call everyday, so it's highly likely that tomorrow will be taken up with me doing research in the lab." Her look turned serious. "But you have to promise me that you'll be careful as well. It scares me sometimes when I think about how easily I could lose you."

"I'll do what I can, Abby," he promised solemnly. "It may not be easy, but... I'll do what I can."

"That's all I can ask."

He touched her face gently. "I love you, Abby my girl. I don't want to do anything to scare you. Ever."

She leaned into his hand. "You won't. I love you, too, and I'm not afraid of any part of you."

"Not even the part that decided it'd be a really, really good idea to shag you so hard you'll be walking funny for a week?" There was a faint smile on his face as he said it, though.

She laughed. "Not even that part."

"Oh, good." He grinned. "Because I liked letting that part talk for a little bit."

She grinned back at him and leaned down to kiss him again. "You have such wonderful ways of communicating."

"I do what I can," he said, returning the kiss.

"You're wonderful," she murmured against his lips.

"I try."

"You succeed." She reached up to run a hand through his hair. "No one has ever made me feel like you do."

"No one?" He smiled at her touch. "You have this thing for my hair, don't you?"

"No one." She smiled softly. "I like touching your hair, and I like seeing how your eyes change when I do."

"Didn't realize my eyes changed all that much."

She chewed on her lip as she tried to figure out how to put into words what she sometimes thought she saw. "When I touch your hair, something in your eyes changes and you seem to relax... like it's soothing part of you." She blushed slightly.

"Because I feel comfortable with you. Safe."

"I hope that I can always make you feel like that."

"I can't imagine you ever not making me feel like that."

She nuzzled him. "You make me feel safe, too."

"I'm glad," he said. "Because you deserve it."

"You say some of the nicest things." She lay her head back down on his chest. "I can't think of anything better than spending time with you."

"This... what we've got... it's amazing. I'm not even sorry it started out the way it did, though I'm sorry you were hurting so badly."

"It is amazing," she agreed. She wrapped an arm around him. "I'm not hurting now. The only thing I regret about how it started is the pain in between then and now for you."

"I'm all right now, love, and that's what matters. Because as much as it hurt, yeah, you've made me feel so amazing in just the past twenty-four hours."

"You've made me feel just as good," she said, lifting her head again to look into his face. "I can't imagine not having you here with me now."

"I can't imagine not being with you." And then, in the way the human brain works late at night when you aren't actually trying to think of anything, he had a thought. "I should probably go toss your clothes in the laundry, shouldn't I?"

Abby laughed softly. "Yeah. I didn't think to pack an extra bag when we were at my flat to bring with me tonight."

"Anne's got some stuff in the closet in the spare room, if you want to go root through it and see if anything will fit, while I’m at it," Becker offered as he sat up, reluctant to move away from Abby even for this.

Abby pouted as he got up, but knew that this had to be done if there was going to be any chance of her being even the least bit presentable at work the following day. "Are you sure she won't mind if I raid her clothing?"

"Oh, please. If she's going to leave things here, she needs to be fully prepared for me to loan them out." He grinned. "Seriously, though, no. She won't mind. Especially since it's you. She'll just be glad it meant we spent the whole night shagging."

Well, not the whole night. There'd been a little sleep and there'd be more sleep after this.

That caused Abby to blush a lot more than she would normally.

"She'll be happy that I kept her brother awake all night before he had to go in to work?" she wondered out loud as she headed to the door.

"No, she'll be happy her brother's finally had a repeat of the best shag of his life and isn't angsting every time she talks to him."

She stopped and turned to look at him. "You really told her I was the best shag of your life?"

Gathering up Abby's discarded clothing was now officially the most interesting thing Becker had ever done, judging by the way he was watching the floor as he moved. "Yeah," he said softly.

Abby watched him for a long moment. "Mine, too." She swallowed. "I never did anything with Stephen." She didn't know why it was so important for him to know that, but it was to her. "What I feel for you is completely unlike anything I've ever felt before. I just... I wanted to tell you that."

That would be an embarrassed Abby trying to duck into the other room.

Becker hesitated and let her go, trying to find the right words to say what he wanted to say. It wasn't anything that would hurt either of them, it was just something that he felt needed to be said in a specific way and he didn't want to risk not saying the right words. He was smiling contently, though, as he grabbed the last bit of clothing and headed for the laundry room.

Abby wasn't really hiding in the closet, really. She was standing inside the closet, carefully going through the clothing there. The pants would be too long for her, but the shirts would work. She selected a t-shirt and a button-up blouse to wear over it. She didn't know what had caused her to make that confession to Becker, but it was something that she needed him to know. She had originally been in the pub that night because she was hurting over Stephen, but what she felt for him was nothing compared to what she was feeling for Becker. She never wanted him to doubt her feelings ... or wonder if she was trying to use him as a replacement for a ghost.

Becker got the laundry going before seeking Abby out, finding her still in the guest bedroom. "Are you alright?" he asked softly, concerned. "You seem... a little subdued right now."

She gave him a soft smile. "Trying to figure out why I started babbling at you," she admitted quietly. "I don't know why all of that came out. It just seemed important that you know that you are different. You're more." She ducked her head. She wasn't good at talking about emotions.

"It came out because you needed to say it," Becker said, standing next to her. "Because you needed me to know. And... I have to admit, part of me likes knowing that you never did anything with Stephen. Though I wouldn't have been upset if you had."

Abby turned to look up at him again. "Stephen and I... it was complicated. I had feelings for him, but things never worked out. There were a lot of misses." She laughed softly. "Including him asking me out when he had been poisoned and then not remembering anything about it. We became close, and maybe things might have happened if he hadn't been killed." She reached to touch his arm. "But that is in the past. The things I have been feeling where you're concerned are stronger and more intense than anything I've ever felt before."

"I also like being that special to you," Becker admitted. "I know it's ridiculously juvenile of me to be pleased about something like that, but... there you have it."

"I don't think it's ridiculous or juvenile at all. I'm glad that what's between us is important enough to you that you would have that reaction."

"And really, even if you'd had something with him or even just done something with him... the important thing is that you're mine now," Becker said thoughtfully, touching Abby's face gently.

"I'm very much yours," she nodded. "For as long as you want me. I don't want anything else besides what you can give me." She flushed. That didn't come out exactly right.

He smiled at her, brushing his fingers over her lips. "I'll give you everything I have, everything I am."

She smiled, relieved he understood what she was trying to say to him. "You'll have all of me, love."

"Stop talking like that or we really won't be getting any more sleep tonight," he said, laughing softly. "Everything you say just makes me want you more."

She smiled at him and stood on her tiptoes so that she could kiss him. "We don't have to fit everything into one night."

"No, we don't," he agreed, returning the kiss gently. "But it doesn't stop me from wanting to." The just kissing was nice, too, though. He could live with that quite happily.

"This is true, but if we're running on lack of sleep at work two days in a row, it might make it harder for us to keep our promises to be safe."

He stopped to think about that for a second. "Damn it. Can there at least be more snogging?" He looked at her hopefully.

Abby laughed softly and nodded. "Oh, I think that can be managed."

"Oh, good. Because if there's more snogging before sleep, I think I can survive the disappointment of not touching you again tonight."

Abby grinned and then leaped up to wrap herself around him. "I think we'll be able to get through the rest of the night."

"You are a horrible, horrible, evil woman," he said with a whimper, catching her as she moved.

"But I'm your horrible, evil woman."

"Who's currently wrapped around me," he pointed out. "Which doesn't leave us with a lot of options right now."

She leaned up to kiss him. "You could always just put me down if you don't want me up here."

"See, it's not a matter of whether or not I want you up here."

She smiled. "I know. But I wanted to hug you closely for a moment. You can put me down now and I'll behave and walk back to the bed."

He kissed her once, gently, before reluctantly setting her down.

She smiled up at him, her arm going around his waist.

He wrapped an arm around her shoulders as they headed back to the bedroom.


	6. Chapter 6

The next day at work didn't start out badly. The call to the hospital should have been the most stressful part of the day. Chasing baby Diictodon all around the hospital as they were chewing through the wiring was one of the most nerve-wracking calls Abby had ever been on -- and she wasn't happy when she got separated from Becker and Connor due to this. Finally, they got most of them back through the anomaly. Two of the creatures were stranded, which caused Connor and Abby to smuggle them out to one of the vehicles so that they could take them back to the safety of their flat.

Feeling relief that the day hadn't had anything bad happen, Abby was happy to return to the ARC --and hopefully go back home shortly after taking care of clean up. She had no idea that the day was about to get very bad.

For his part, Becker was also looking forward to returning to the ARC, though for different reasons. Getting back to the office meant he could ditch Connor, who had been taking great joy in teasing him about what'd turned out to be a complete inability to find the operating room. How the bloody hell could he have known it'd be as difficult to find as it had been?

Abby was cheerfully looking to find Becker to make sure everything was alright when she was surrounded by strange men with guns. These were not Becker's men... and in fact looked like the cleaner from the mall last year where they had fought raptors. She would have demanded answers if it wasn't for the guns that were trained on her and the others.

Connor didn't know what to do, was officially acting on instinct... and said instinct was to put himself between Abby and danger, never mind that he could do approximately nothing to be any protection.

The men just smirked as they herded them into another room. Abby was trying to figure out how to get away, but one of the men grabbed her arm and shoved her into the room. She wanted to fight back, but she was afraid that they might actually shoot people.

"What the hell is going on?"

"I don't know, but I wish I did," Connor said crossly. "Whatever this is... something's wrong. Seriously, seriously wrong. Which means someone has to be behind it."

"The two of you shut up," one of the men said as he stood guard outside their door.

"Why don't you come in here and make me," Abby muttered.

"Abby!" Connor hissed. "Don't give him any ideas!"

"Do you really think he's going to shoot me?" She hissed back. "Boy that will get him all kinds of credit -- shooting the short girl who talked back."

Apparently, Abby thought her promise to Becker to be careful was meant only for when they were called to anomalies.

"You still really wanna even risk getting dead?"

"No," she said, looking towards the door in frustration. "I just don't like this."

"I know," he said quietly. "I know." His mind was racing as he tried to think of something, anything at all that'd make this make sense.

She paced back and forth in front of the room. "Do you think the others are alright?"

"I'm sure they're fine," he said with a confidence he didn't feel in the least.

She turned frightened eyes to Connor. "Becker!" She whispered. "Oh god, Connor! He would have fought!"

Connor wanted to protest, say that Becker wouldn't have, but they both knew that he _would_ have.

"I'm sure he's fine, Abby," he said, trying to keep her calm. "I mean, okay, he probably fought. But I'm sure he would have known when to stop fighting."

"Before or after they shot him," she murmured trying to not let the panic overcome her.

"Before, of course," he said, putting a little snap in his voice to try and get her to smile like usual, or to at least not start falling apart again.

She didn't smile, but she didn't start to outwardly fall apart. Now her panic for her boyfriend was hidden silently in her mind.

Connor took up pacing, muttering under his breath as he ran through possibilities, trying to figure out what was going on exactly and how they could fix it.

He didn't come up with a whole lot.

Finally, Abby just couldn't take it any longer. She had to get her and Connor out of this room.

"Connor," she hissed. "As soon as I get the man away from the door, you run. You get to a computer and find out what's going on."

She wasn't going to ask him to find Becker. As worried as she was about him, she also knew that if Connor could get to a computer, he could help the rest of the team wherever they were.

She took a deep breath and then slammed the door open.

"Hey! Get back in there and keep your mouth --"

Abby hit him as hard as she could.

Connor wanted to yell at Abby for doing something that stupid, but he knew what her logic had been. So as soon as she hit the man, he bolted out of the room and made a break for the nearest computer.

After Abby heard Connor running in the opposite direction, she realized that there had been a flaw in her plan. In order to make sure that Connor got away, she had to fight this guy to a stand still. The man swung his gun at her and she spun around, so that it only clipped her shoulder. She did a snap kick to his knee even as she brought her fist around to hit the wrist of his hand holding the gun.

He dropped the gun and Abby ducked away from him to kick the gun down the hall. She turned to run, only to yell in surprise as he grabbed her by the back of the neck and threw her into the wall. The back of her head hit the wall and as she was trying to get her bearings back, he was lifting her by her throat and squeezing.

_Not good._

She felt her feet dangling above the floor as she scratched at the hand at her throat. When it only caused him to squeeze harder, Abby used two of her fingers to stab at his eye even as she brought up her feet to slam them into his groin.

The man yelled in pain, but slammed Abby harder into the wall. The need to breathe was starting to get critical now and the pain from the hand squeezing her throat was getting worse. She carefully brought her feet to the wall she was pressed against and moved them into a position where her knees were bent. As he squeezed harder in an attempt to hurt her even worse or knock her unconscious, Abby made a last desperate attack. She stopped pulling at the hand that was latched onto her throat and brought her hands together. She shoved her locked hands forward into his throat as hard as she could, while at the same time using the wall as a springboard to launch her knees into his stomach.

The two of them went down to the ground, hitting the floor hard. Her throat was no longer being choked, but Abby was having a hard time swallowing and breathing hurt. She crawled away from the attacker and turned over on her back, kicking the disoriented attacker in the head one, twice and then three times. She pulled herself backwards away from the man that had been so intent on killing her. Once her hands felt wall, she used the wall to pull herself up to her feet. Looking around, she saw his gun and walked very slowly over to get it.

It was when she bent down to get the gun that she felt dizzy. She felt herself falling and then everything went black around her.

 

Connor had managed to get to a computer; he was working frantically to figure out what the hell was going on and still coming up with nothing even with the computer -- until it hit him to check the security feeds. Hands shaking with both nerves and fear, he checked to see who'd accessed the ARC most recently.

Access logs told him nobody outside of staff had been admitted; frowning, he switched over to pulling up actual footage from immediately before he and Abby had been grabbed and then worked backwards as quickly as he could manage, squinting at the chaos and...

Well.

Shit.

Connor spun away from the computer, needing to get back to Abby and help her, needing to get to the others and help them, needing to do entirely too much and feeling like he couldn't really do any of it.

Unfortunately, this heroic if not very well thought out plan didn't go like he'd thought, given he now had his very own large scary man to deal with.

"Don't hurt me, I bruise easily!"

Oh, Connor. Someone needs to fix that filter on your mouth. Or install one, actually.

Connor, through some combination of quick moves and sheer dumb luck, managed to dodge what would've been an especially painful blow. He might not have been much of a fighter, but even he knew better than to stick around when you had a chance to get the hell out.

Even if "out" really was just getting back to Abby and praying everything was alright.

He sprinted down the corridor, back towards the room they'd been in.

The hall outside the room was a mess with broken pieces of wall and streaks of blood every few inches. The guard was on the ground and it looked like he was bleeding from several places on his face and head.

A few feet away, Abby was crumpled against the wall. She was also unconscious and bleeding from her head and nose. There were thick red finger and hand marks along her throat and lower part of her face that were going to turn into nasty bruises later.

Connor gasped when he saw her, dropping to his knees next to her and trying to bring her around. It didn't work, which meant she was pretty deeply unconscious. Or he thought that was what it meant, anyway. For a second, he thought about dragging her back into the room to provide cover but then decided against it. And then decided on it after all, managing to pick up the gun and drag Abby back into the room at the same time. He left the door open, though, because he wasn't sure if closing it would alert anybody to anything or not.

He wasn't thinking very clearly at the moment.

He left the gun with Abby and went off in search of the others, having seen them shoved into a room when he'd been going through the security footage. Unfortunately, he hadn't been able to tell _which_ room, and in a place the size of the ARC? That was a definite problem.

But it wasn't a problem he could avoid, so he'd just have to do what he had to do. And that meant searching a facility that'd been taken over and praying he wouldn't get caught. Which was going to be easier said than done, on both counts.

He'd lost track of time and count of how many places he'd checked by the time he found them, scrambling to open the door of the room they were in.

Sarah, Jenny and Becker all looked up as Connor opened the door.

"Connor!" Sarah said in surprise. "I'm glad you're here. I have an idea how to deal with these guys. They seem to be focused on Helen's voice. Captain Becker recorded her voice when she was in here last and if we can get it into computer system and over the intercom..."

"Then we can trick them into thinking it's her!" Connor said, following the logic. "Okay, this could work. This is _going_ to work." It had to.

"Where's Abby?" Becker asked, looking at Connor. "Why isn't she with you?"

"She was," Connor said, looking away as he pulled a chair over to where Sarah was sitting so they could finish working on the idea she'd come up with. "We were in a room. She provided a distraction so I could get out and figure out what was going on." He wasn't looking at Becker, was instead pulling up audio recordings and splicing them together with hesitant instructions from Sarah.

" _What_?" Becker's voice was loud and scared. "And you _ran_? You didn't try to help her?"

"No, Captain, I didn't," Connor said, words sharper than they might've been ordinarily. "Because she did it specifically so I could get out and find the others. So I could get out and find _you_. By the way, she was worried they might've shot you. Glad to see they didn't."

"Where is she, Connor?" Becker asked, gritting his teeth.

"She's... four hallways and two turns away, I think," Connor said. "Yeah. Yeah, that's it."

"Connor!"

Connor looked back at Becker. "She'll be all right," he said with a sad smile. "I got her out of sight and I made sure she had a gun with her in case she came to, for protection."

Becker thought about it a second before nodding slightly, still not liking it but not knowing what else to say about it that wouldn't just be him screaming at Connor for being a raging idiot.

Connor tilted his head as he and Sarah pieced together the last bit of recording. "What do you think?" he asked. "Think this is good enough?"

Jenny's head snapped to Connor. "What do you mean, in case she came to? Connor, what happened to her?"

Sarah was quiet as she looked at Connor's handiwork and nodded. "Yeah, that should work."

"Okay, burn that to a disc," Connor said. To Jenny, he answered, "She got knocked out."

He was so not telling Becker the full truth of it right now, not when they were in the middle of trouble. If Becker didn't like it, he could just deal.

Sarah nodded and quickly burned a disc. Once it was finished, she pulled it out and handed it to Connor. "Now what?"

"Now," Connor said. "We figure out how to get it into the main system."

"Give it to me," Becker said, holding his hand out. "I'll do it."

Sarah looked at him. "They'll want to try and kill you on sight, Becker. You don't look harmless."

"I can look plenty harmless when I need to," Becker protested. "Besides, if it's not me, then it's one of you."

Connor hesitated only a second before saying, "I'll do it."

Jenny just looked at both of them like they had lost their minds. "The two of you would have better luck if you went together."

"Fine." Becker didn't want to argue, he just wanted to get this all over with so he could get to Abby. "Connor, grab the disc and let's go."

Connor didn't say anything, just popped the disc into a case and followed after Becker.


	7. Chapter 7

It took a good deal of stealth and the grace of God, but Connor and Becker got the recording playing and security freed. In the resulting chaos, they took off again so they could get to Abby. It didn't take long for Connor to lead them back, surprisingly, considering just how little of the route he'd actually thought he remembered.

"She's in here," he said, leading Becker down the blood-stained corridor and past the unconscious clone and into the room he and Abby had been in. Abby looked like she'd come to enough to shift position, because she wasn't laying the way he'd tucked her earlier, but she was still more than out cold.

Becker's eyes went wide for a split second as he took in the bruises that had by now started to form -- and the where exactly of those bruises. "Connor, stay with her," he ordered sharply as he moved back into the hallway.

Connor had a bad feeling about this as he dropped to his knees next to Abby, checking her pulse and finding it reasonably good.

Becker looked down at the unconscious clone, not even aware of having drawn his handgun. But there it was in his hand, and he really didn't mind at all. He also didn't stop to think twice before firing and putting half a clip into the man.

Connor jumped at the sound of the first close shot, and at each of the next several, and knew this would not end well for him, either.

Becker was holstering the gun as he came back into the room. He reached down and scooped Abby up, for the moment having eyes only for her. "I'm getting her out of here," he said to Connor. "If you're smart, you'll leave me alone to do it."

Connor just looked at Becker a second before nodding. "I'll be right behind you."

At the moment, Becker didn't much care. Later he would berate himself for that; now, he just wanted Connor out of his sight. It was a largely irrational anger, and Becker didn't care about that, either.

Holding Abby close, he made his way out of the room and slowly down the hall in the opposite direction from which he'd come with Connor. They'd made it maybe halfway before the first explosion hit. Becker pulled to the side of the hall, not wanting to move until he knew there wasn't going to be another explosion.

Except there was, barely twenty seconds after the first; after that, Becker stopped paying attention to anything except Abby's safety and praying for a stop. At the first lull in the noise and falling debris, Becker took advantage of it to sprint for the door with Abby in his arms. He pivoted, hitting the door with his back and slamming it open, sucking in a gulp of air as they emerged into the sunlight.

And he realized suddenly that he'd had to have been standing there in the hallway for longer than he'd thought, because Connor emerged from another entrance, and he too was carrying someone in his arms.

Oh.

Oh, no.

The day had just officially gotten even worse.

Moving slowly, Becker knelt to lay Abby down on the ground. The others could worry about Connor and Cutter; now that they were out, he was focused solely on Abby.

It was Sarah who finally came over to where he was kneeling next to Abby. Lester had ordered the paramedics to get there to work on Cutter, even though they had all seen that Cutter was gone. It was that knowledge that had spurred her to Becker's side.

"Please. Please tell me she's not --" She swallowed, looking at the bruises forming along Abby's throat. She stared at them for a long moment, tracing them up her throat to her chin, then she looked at Becker. "Captain Becker, _tell me_." Because Sarah couldn't bear to lose two friends today.

"She's alive," Becker replied, his voice hoarse with unshed tears. "Unconscious, but alive." One hand hovered helplessly by her cheek for a second before he pulled it back, reminding himself that they were trying to keep things a secret and falling apart next to his unconscious girlfriend would not help that.

"You're not hiding," Sarah finally said. "Jenny and I already know. Abby's been happier lately."

"But it's only been... not even two days," Becker said, looking at Sarah in surprise. "I didn't think we'd been that bad at hiding it yesterday..."

"Jenny," Sarah said softly, reaching out to touch a bloody section of Abby's hair. "She saw you two."

"What? But we didn't... we were careful... oh, God." He groaned. "She saw us in the locker room, didn't she?"

"She did." She looked at Becker. "Jenny said that she hasn't seen Abby look happy in a long time."

"Not since before Stephen died, then," Becker said. "I'm guessing, anyway."

And Abby's not looking happy the past four months was his fault.

"His actions before his death wounded her deeply, Jenny said." Sarah shook her head. "Jenny said that after the reaction you had about that creature chasing her, there was no doubt that you were in love with her." Sarah took a deep breath. "Abby is going to need you even more, now, Captain Becker."

"She's got me," Becker said, taking Abby's limp hand in his. "For getting through this and for the rest of our lives, if she'll have me." If Sarah already knew they were involved, he didn't see the point in hiding just how much he cared for Abby.

"Professor Cutter is dead," Sarah said softly. "Helen Cutter shot him."

"Damn it." Becker let his head drop. He hadn't known the man very well, but he'd liked him. "The team's going to fall apart for awhile tonight, isn't it?"

"Yes it is. The ARC is going to be closed for a few days to take care of the bomb repairs and fires." She swallowed. "Are you taking Abby to the hospital or getting your security medic to look her over?"

"My medic," he replied, looking around. "Because if I take her to the hospital, they'll try and keep her no matter what, and I don't think she'd be able to handle that."

"No, you're probably right." She hugged him. "You go take care of Abby with your guys. I'll let Jenny and Lester and Connor know." She gave him a sad smile. "You don't want Jenny and Lester to see Abby's throat and lower half of her face -- and you don't want Abby to wake up only to see Cutter like that."

"No, I don't," he agreed, returning the hug before carefully scooping Abby up in his arms again. "And Sarah? Don't let anybody else know about... well... about me and Abby. We're trying to keep it quiet for now and I'm not sure how she'd feel about people knowing."

"Your secrets are safe with me and Jenny." She gave another worried look at Abby's condition. "I hope the man that did that to her is no longer a threat."

"He's not." Two simple words, said with a dangerous venom behind them. "He's been effectively removed from the equation."

Sarah didn't care what had happened to the attacker. As long as Abby was still alive, she didn't give a damn.

Becker straightened up and set off towards his men, praying that the redness and bruising were the worst of what Abby had suffered at the man's hands.

Abby had wound up with more than that, though, including what was probably a concussion. Becker was just going to focus on being grateful that she was still alive, though. He couldn't afford to let himself be affected any more than he already was.

It didn't take long for him to arrange transport for Abby back to his flat; Connor hadn't even argued with him over it when he'd simply informed the other man of it. If he were in a more charitable mood, he would understand. But he wasn't. Oh, it wasn't that he was angry with Connor, because he wasn't. Not anymore. He was just numb.

Once he had Abby at his flat and safely tucked into his bed, he changed out of his work clothes and proceeded to sit next to the bed, watching her. He hoped she'd come out of it before too much longer; his medic had thought she would, otherwise he'd have been overridden and she'd have gone to the hospital, but he could still hope.

He could still hope, because he was still afraid.

A few hours later, Abby's hand started moving, reaching along the bed. She tried to call for him, all that came out was a whisper of pain.

He was next to her on the bed in an instant. "Ssh, don't try to talk," he said, taking her hand in his. "Don't talk, Abby my girl. You were hurt pretty badly."

"Becker?" She winced as she forced that out. "You're unharmed?"

"I'm fine," he assured her. "They didn't hurt me."

"Was going to kill..." She winced, tears of pain coming to her eyes. "Had to get Connor out."

"He got out, love. He got out, we figured out how to take care of everything, and then we came back for you."

She touched her throat and then her chin and winced. "I must look horrible and sound worse."

"You don't look so good and you sound scratchy as hell, but I don't care. All I care about is that you're alive and the man who did it to you is not."

"Can't come back?" She was holding onto his hand as she looked at him.

"No, love. He can't come back. Not after I got through with him."

It probably shouldn't have filled Abby with such a fierce satisfaction that Becker had gotten rid of her attacker, but it did. She closed her eyes for second, trying to hide how much it hurt when she swallowed or tried to talk. However, there were questions she needed to know the answers to, so she would have to deal with the pain for a little longer.

"Anyone else hurt?"

Becker had hoped to avoid that question for a little bit longer, at least.

"Cutter," he replied, trying not to look away from her.

Abby gasped, and it was from two kinds of different pain now. Her eyes filled with tears she hadn't shed even when she thought she was going to die in that hallway.

"H-how?"

"Helen shot him," he said, shifting to wrap an arm around her and carefully gather her close. "I got you out, and I guess Connor went to find him. Carried him out. He was already gone."

Abby leaned against Becker, silent tears sliding down her face and into his shirt. She wanted to scream at someone, wanted to yell and rage, but she couldn't. Cutter was like a father figure to her and now he was gone... killed by the person who kept showing up on some power hungry trip to control everything. She held on tightly to Becker, almost frightened that she would lose him next.

Becker didn't know what to say, so he said nothing. He simply held Abby and let her cry, feeling helpless and hating himself for it.

"Don't leave," she finally managed to get out. She wasn't sure if he would understand her meaning right now, but it was the best she could do. "Stay."

"I'm never leaving you, Abby," he said softly. "Besides, you're at my place, anyway." Well, he'd partially gotten it.

She tightened her hands in his shirt. "She keeps killing."

"She won't kill me," he promised. "I won't let it happen. I'll put her down like the dog she is before I let her hurt me. Or you."

"Not worried about me."

He tipped her face up carefully, hand cupping her neck and trying not to press the new bruises. "But I am," he said softly. "And I am so sorry I couldn't protect you from this." He ducked his head and pressed a kiss to a bruise on the opposite side of her neck, not trying anything sexual, just trying to find a way to show her he didn't care that she was bruised.

"Might have shot you," she said softly, closing her eyes. "But I had to get Connor a way out." She swallowed. "Knew he had better chance of finding the solution."

"All he said was you'd gotten knocked unconscious," Becker said, his lips still lingering against Abby's skin. "So when we got back to you and I saw the condition you were in..."

"He didn't know," Abby tried to explain. "I was still up and fighting when I made him run."

"He still left you." The words were a growl as Becker pulled back, and not the kind of growl she usually liked.

"No choice," she tried to make her hoarse voice sound firm. "I'm more of a fighter. He could have been hurt."

"He could have kept you from getting throttled!" And now there was fear in his voice.

Abby let go of his shirt and wrapped her arms around him. "Didn't know that would happen."

Now it was his turn to cling. "When I saw what you looked like, I... I didn't even think before killing the guy that did this to you," he said. "Half a clip, into his head. I was making damn sure he wouldn't get up and come after you."

Somewhere in a distant part of her brain, Abby knew that she probably should be upset that Becker had killed someone over her. However, considering that it was one of Helen's men and she had killed Cutter, she couldn't feel bad. Hell, if it had been a choice between her and the attacker, she would have chosen herself, too. "Love you, too." Because she needed to say it as much as he needed to hear it.

His response was to kiss her, gently but still putting all the fear and desperation into it. He pulled back after a moment, brushing his fingers over her lips. "I will never not love you," he promised. "Do you really want me to stay or would you be more comfortable if someone else sat with you? I can go crash at my sister's and you can have Jenny and Sarah come over, or I can have my sister come over, or whatever."

"Don't leave me," she said, tightening her arms around him. "Please. I don't want to be alone or away from you right now." She swallowed painfully. "Jenny will need Sarah right now. Connor, too."

"Okay," he said with a nod. "I won't leave. Just wanted to give you that option, if you wanted it." He hesitated slightly. "If... if you want, you can stay with me for a few days."

She looked at him. "Sure?"

"Wouldn't have said it if I wasn't," he said. "I'll dig up my spare set of keys for you later."

She nodded, leaning against him. "Need clothes."

"I can wash your pants for you and you can borrow more of Anne's stuff, if you want," he offered. "It's probably the easiest option, since I can't really leave you right now to go grab something from your flat for you."

Abby tugged him down so that he was laying next to her. "Just lay here with me for a bit, please?" Because she didn't want to be alone and she really didn't want to be apart from him.

"All right, love," he said, wrapping his arm loosely around her waist. "As long as you want."

"Besides Cutter... is everyone else all right?"

"They are," he said with a nod. "Grieving, but otherwise alright."

"How many of your men?" Because she had heard shooting.

"A couple. I don't have exact numbers yet. I was too concerned with getting you away from there."

"You should find out so things can be done." She winced. "I thought they would shoot you because I knew you would go without a fight when your people were being threatened."

"I'll make a call after you fall asleep," he promised. "And I'm surprised they didn't shoot me, honestly."

"I would have died."

"No, you wouldn't have."

"If they had shot you before you could find me."

"Have faith, Abby. Connor would've come back for you."

"Wanted you."

"I was so scared when I saw you," he admitted. "I knew you were unconscious, but... part of me was afraid I'd lost you."

"I took him down into unconsciousness," she whispered.

"I know you did, and I'm so proud of you for it," he said, hugging her gently.

"He only throttled me because I relieved him of his gun."

"I'm just glad it was just throttling and not anything else he could've done to you."

"Kinda hard to do anything else when I kept attacking him."

"If he was determined enough, he'd have managed."

"But he didn't and you found me."

"I did." He smiled sadly. "And now you're just hurting all over, aren't you?"

She frowned. "But I have you with me and it makes up for the hurt, Hilary."

"And I am planning on spoiling you rotten tonight," he said, trying for a smile.

"I'm going to heal, love," she murmured, watching him.

"I know, but there's nothing I can do to help with that," he said. "So spoiling you is all I _can_ do."

"Being here with me and for me is the best kind of healing. It's all I need right now."

"I love you, Abby," he said softly. "And I know being here is good, but you have no idea how much I wish there was something else I could do."

"You didn't cause me to get hurt, Helen and her bastards did. You found me and brought me here. You didn't let them take me away to a hospital." She reached out to touch his cheek. "You're doing plenty."

"The hospital would've kept you overnight," he said. "I knew you wouldn't have been able to handle that."

She shook her head. "No. Waking up here was a lot better than having that happen."

"Want a cup of coffee or something?" he offered. "Since I don't really want to let you go back to sleep right now and all, and any other alternative methods of keeping you awake wouldn't be a good idea right now." He grinned at her. "Coffee is about what we're left with."

She managed a soft laugh. "As much as I like your other methods, you're probably right about the coffee being a better idea right now."

"So you snuggle down right here, then, and I'll be back with coffee in a few. Want something to eat? Feel up to soup, maybe?"

She shook her head slowly. "I'm not hungry, love."

"You sure?" he asked as he stood. "It wouldn't be any trouble."

"I'm sure," she rasped. "Coffee and you."

"Coffee and me it is, then," he said with a smile. "You just curl up, love. I'll be back in a few."

She didn't want to let him out of her sight, but she also didn't want him to know how clingy she was feeling, so she nodded and lay back down on the pillows as he left the room.

He was back a few minutes later with a cup of coffee. "Here you go," he said with a smile, holding it out to her.

She smiled at him, taking the cup and wrapping both of her hands around it as she stared into it. "It's warm." Because that was not a dumb thing to say, really.

"It is," he agreed, sitting back down on the bed with her.

Abby leaned against Becker when he sat down next to her. "In case I haven't said it, I'm glad that you were the one that was here when I woke up."

"I wouldn't have let it be anybody else."

"They know now at work, I imagine," she said quietly. "Is that going to cause problems for you with your men?"

"Not everybody knows," he said after a moment. "Just Jenny and Sarah. And Sarah said she wouldn't tell. So... I think it's all right."

Abby chewed on her lip, still staring into her coffee. "Does it bother you that they know?"

"No," he said. "I don't care who knows, I told you that."

"I don't, either. I thought I could go with it just so no one teased you or anything, but after today..." She blinked her eyes. "All I could think about was that one of us might not make it out and seemed a little silly for me to be worrying about protecting us from anyone giving us a hard time about being involved. Because no one would understand a strong reaction to one of us being gone if they didn't know how much we love each other." She sniffled. "And then all I could think about was that you would think I just didn't want anyone to know about us because I thought we had to hide." A lot of things had gone through her mind when that hand was at her throat.

"I was only willing to hide it because I thought you wanted to," he said. "And hiding it wouldn't have been a bad thing, don't think I’m saying that. I'm just saying that from the very start, I've been willing to let everybody find out."

"I don't want to hide how I feel about you, Becker," Abby said softly. "If anyone has a problem with us, they can just sod off."

"Exactly my thinking," he said. "And... Jenny's only reaction when she found out was to go and tell Sarah. I don't care if people talk about it, I just don't want any trouble."

"If there's trouble..." She swallowed. "I won't let your job become a risk because of me."

"What are you saying?"

She took a breath. "I'd quit the ARC before I'd let that happen." Notice she didn't say she'd leave him. She wasn't that selfless.

"No, you wouldn't. You love it there."

She looked at him. "I love you more."

"I wouldn't _let_ you quit."

"For three months, I couldn't think of anyone but you. For a month after that, I was miserable because I hurt you and didn't think you could ever forgive me -- or that what I felt for you was reciprocated. I'm not going to let my job or people therein cause us issues."

"I'd quit before I let you quit."

"No, you wouldn't and I wouldn't let you. Your job and service is too much a part of who you are. It would break something in you to walk away from that." She reached out to touch his face gently. "And they need you more than they need me. You keep them safe. I do research and take care of the creatures."

"There are more opportunities for me in the world than there are for you," he countered. "And your job's just as much a part of who you are."

"Well, hopefully we won't have to test any of those theories out," she said in a quiet tone. "I just wanted to make sure you weren't left with any doubts about my thoughts and feelings on the matter."

"You know what my only doubt is?" he said after a moment. "Whether you're ever going to be able to enjoy being sore and bruised because of me, now that this has happened."

Abby stared at him and then grinned. "Well, it's not like we won't get plenty of practice to see about that," she managed to say.

He looked at her for a moment before smiling cautiously. "You're not going to associate painful bruises with today?"

She blinked and then shook her head sharply. "This? This had nothing to do with you and there is no damn reason I would associate anything we do with what happened to me today."

"But you can't just lay back and enjoy the pleasantly achy feelings now."

"You worry too much," she said with a hint of a smile. "But you can make the fun achy feelings come back when this heals."

"And they _do_ provide something to distract you from the not fun achy feelings," he said after a moment's thought.

She nodded. "Oh very much so."

"Then when you've finished with your coffee, I'll give you a kiss and a cuddle." Because really, he couldn't completely stop the casual contact they'd so quickly developed.

She handed him the cup and smiled. "Okay."

He set the cup aside before leaning in to kiss her, trying to keep his hands away from her face and neck, something that was surprisingly difficult.

She was sore, but she needed Becker to be comfortable with touching all of her; and frankly, his touch made the bruising feel a little better. She took one of his hands and held it to her face as she rubbed her cheek and chin against it.

He let his hand settle against her skin, cupping her cheek. "I love you, Abby my girl," he said softly, kissing her again. "I love you so much."

"I know," she said with a soft kind of confidence as she looked into his face. "I know. I love you, too, Hilary. I knew I did before, but when I thought I was going to lose you today..."

"It drove the fact home," he said, letting his hand slide back to cup her neck, where the bruising wasn't quite as bad.

She nodded, not trusting herself to say the right words to him right now with all of the emotions she was feeling.

"I wish I could show you how much you mean to me," he said, kissing her deeply for a moment before pulling back. "But I can't. Because you're too damn bruised."

"And if I told you that I needed you right now?" Because she was going to be in a lot of pain tomorrow, so why couldn't she make it a good pain?

"I'd promise to be as gentle as I possibly could."

"Hilary," Abby said, her voice a mixture of husky and hoarse. "I need you right now."

Oh God, the things that voice did to him. It was a pitch he'd probably never hear again, given half the why of it, but oh God how it got to him.

"The _second_ I do something that hurts, you stop me," he said, kissing her fiercely.

Abby didn't bother to respond to that, instead pulling him closer to her and kissing him just as fiercely as he was her.

Becker slid his other hand under her shirt, tugging it up impatiently. He was determined not to be as rough as the previous night, but that was about the only promise he could really make her. He still wanted her every bit as urgently.

Abby was happy to help him remove her shirt, and focused on removing his as well. She wasn't thinking in terms of roughness or gentleness, only that she wanted to feel his skin against hers.

He would do his best to help her with that want. Once they'd tossed their shirts aside, he unclasped her bra and drew it slowly down her arms, carefully. Probably entirely too carefully for her liking.

It was entirely too careful for her liking and she squirmed against him, pulling at the button to his pants.

"Becker..."

He undid his pants quickly, with shaking hands. He was pretty sure they hadn't wanted each other this frantically. Ever. Not even that first night.

If he had said that to Abby, she probably would have agreed. However, right now she was intent on sliding his pants down his hips, trying to get him undressed as quickly as possible. Her own hands were shaking as she moved them along his hips and then his thighs.

His pants and underwear wound up on the floor quickly, which left him to focus on the rest of her clothes.

"I need you," she whimpered once she was finally out of her clothes and able to press herself against him. "God, love, I need you."

He wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her against him tightly. "How do you want this, love? Tell me, because I don't want to end up hurting you."

Abby squirmed against him and tightened her arms around him. Her eyes had darkened slightly, and when she looked at him she couldn't hide the way she was feeling. "You're not going to hurt me," she said quietly, tugging at him.

He pushed her down onto her back. "Not in any way you don't want," he agreed, moving between her legs.

She whimpered again, her eyes locking with his. "Love you."

"Love you, too." He entered her slowly. "Love you so much."

Her eyes closed for a moment as she just enjoyed the feel of him. Then she opened her eyes and smiled at him.

"Perfect," he whispered, returning the smile as he moved slowly against her, thrusting carefully. "Absolutely perfect."

"You always think I am," she said wonderingly.

"Because you _are_."

She arched her hips up against his. "I think you're the most terrific man in the world, so we're evenly matched."

"Thank you for wanting me right now," he said softly, one hand touching her face as he kissed her. He was covering the bruises, he knew, but he couldn't help it. It wasn't that he was trying to reclaim them or anything like that, he just needed to touch her and where he needed to touch her happened to be bruised.

"I will never not want you," she whispered gently. "And I needed you tonight just as much as you needed me."

"But you're hurt. So thank you for wanting me despite that." He grinned before kissing her again, much less carefully.

"Thank you for not telling me no," she managed before she was returning the kiss.

"I wanted to, but I wanted you more."

"I'm very glad for that."

"I am, too," he admitted with a moan. "Because I wouldn't have been able to keep my hands off you for very long."

Abby wrapped her legs around his and pulled him closer. "I wouldn't have wanted you to even try."

"I would have, though," he said, experimentally thrusting a little harder.

Abby moaned, arching her hips up against him. "Don't want you to ever think that you have to."

"If you're too badly hurt, you won't enjoy this. And I don't ever want this to be something you just suffer through."

Abby lifted her head and smiled slightly, before she pulled his face to his. "Shagging you could never be described as something I would suffer through."

"Even when you're in pain? Because I'm not _nearly_ good enough to make you forget about pain like that."

She would have laughed if her throat didn't hurt. "How would you know how good I think you are?"

"How could I be good enough to make you forget some kind of major trauma?" There wasn't much logic there, but he was trying.

"I could be dying and I would want you," she murmured honestly.

He went still and looked at her, not sure why that was so startling to him... or so touching.

She looked up at him, her hands slowing on his shoulders. "Hilary?" The hesitant tone in her voice was a clear indication that she thought she had said something wrong.

"I didn't realize you felt quite _that_ deeply about me," he said, stunned. "It's a little overwhelming."

"I'm sorry," she whispered softly. She held onto him, still, not sure if he wanted her to or not.

"Don't be," he said, his voice dropping into the growl she so loved without his even realizing it. "Don't you dare be sorry."

She lifted her eyes to his, and a tremor shook her at his tone of voice. "Sorry for saying it. Not for feeling it. I know it was too soon."

"It wasn't," he assured her, kissing her deeply. "It wasn't. I just wasn't expecting it."

She whimpered into his kiss, closing her eyes. "Love you so much. Never thought I would feel this way."

He kissed her again before impulsively rolling them over so she was on top of him. "Maybe this will make it feel better for you."

She looked down at him and shifted her hips slightly so that she could rock them down against him. "What does it feel like for you?"

His response was a short, keening whimper.

She leaned forward so that she could run her nails lightly along his chest.

"Oh God," he whimpered, shivering slightly and resting his hands on her thighs.

"I like it when I can cause you to make these kinds of noises," she murmured, leaning her head down so that she could run her tongue along his neck.

"I can't hurt you like this," he said, fighting not to react until he'd said what he needed to say. "We can be together and you can take it as fast or slow as you need to."

"Weren't hurting me before," she said hoarsely, leaning down to nip at his lip.

He whimpered at that. "But there was the chance that I could've."

"You could never hurt me. Never."

"Physically, yeah, I could. Kind of did last night." He shifted slightly beneath her.

"Oh but I enjoyed that so much," she said with a wicked smile as she brought her knees closer to his hips.

He moaned. "Then that begs the question of if it counts as hurting you if you enjoy it," he said with a grin.

"That's what I've been trying to get you to see," she leaned down again to kiss him. "I enjoyed it and therefore it wasn't hurting me."

He returned the kiss gently. "And what about this?"

"I'm enjoying this, too, and you're not hurting me."

"And I'm not causing pain?" This was probably something he could've gotten snarked at for, if not for the fact that he was finding a rhythm with his hips against hers as he asked it.

"Only the good kind that comes from you making every nerve in my body feel like they're made of fire."

"I can live with that kind," he said, bucking his hips sharply and watching her face to see her reaction.

Abby mewled deep in her throat, then leaned forward so that she could tighten herself around his cock.

"Fuck yes," he said with a groan. "God, that's perfect." It was a little crazy how well they fit together, despite the few times they'd been together, but it was crazy in all the best ways.

She rocked her hips gently back and forth on him and then leaned back so that she could arch her chest up for him.

He slid his hands up her stomach to cup her breasts gently. "I... remember this," he said, as thoughtfully as he could manage. "You did this that first time we were together. You were merciless."

"I wanted you so badly that night, love. And I wanted you keep me in your mind for at least a few hours."

"Well, you certainly succeeded."

"I was drunk enough to be cocky enough that I wanted to do things to you that would mean that you wouldn't forget me any time soon."

"I'd never forget you, no matter what you did to me."

Abby whimpered and rocked her hips against him again.

"Keep doing that, Abby," he whimpered. "Don't stop."

She rocked her hips against him and then leaned down to suck on his shoulder.

He let his hands slide back down her body to grip her hips, keeping his touch light this time.

He was going to have a nice mark from her mouth on his shoulder in the morning, but she didn't think either of them were going to care about that. She continued to rock her hips against him, directing the pace of him sliding in and out of her.

He liked that she'd just taken control for a moment. As much as he liked being the one in control, he'd give it up for Abby happily. And that mark on his shoulder? He was going to love knowing it was there, a claim nobody else could see.

Abby turned her head so that she could lick his ear lobe while she was moving against him. "You feel like you were made to fit me, Hilary. Because this, you, it feels perfect and right... and mine."

"I think maybe I was," he said with a whimper. "Because it's never felt like this with anybody else."

"Not for me, either. It feels like home," she said, rocking her hips against his as she licked his ear.

"Home," he agreed, bucking against her. "Home."

Now it was Abby's turn to whimper as she she shifted herself again so that she could take him even deeper as he bucked up like that. "My love. My Hilary."

"Yours," he echoed. "Forever."

"And I'm yours. Always." She looked into his eyes as she made that promise.

His hands tightened on her hips at the promise, though he knew it had to be hurting her. He wasn't going to apologize unless it hurt her, but he would if she reacted.

Abby reacted, but not in the way he was worried about. She slowly started to build up a faster rhythm. She would roll her hips down against his while letting her nails scratch lightly down his chest.

"Keep doing that," he begged. "Oh God, keep doing that."

"Like this?" She asked softly as she repeated her movements.

"Uh-huh," he said raggedly. "Just like that."

"What if I did this..." She leaned her head down to his chest and ran her tongue over one of his nipples.

He whimpered, arching his back slightly. "I like that, too."

"Do you know completely hot it is that I can make you whimper like that?"

"Feel free to explain it," he gasped, bucking harder against her.

She gasped, rocking her hips against him. Her eyes had darkened and she ran her nails down his ribs.

He liked seeing this side of her, the side that was inches away from completely seizing control.

She leaned back down, running her tongue along his throat, up his chin and then to his ear.

"Go ahead," Becker whispered, hands still gripping her hips. "Control's yours, Abby. Take it."

This time she whimpered before she brought her lips to his and kissed him fiercely, almost desperately.

He returned the kiss, moaning against her lips. She was amazing and she was his and he was pretty sure he'd never get tired of that.

She let go of his sides and moved her hands up to grasp each side of his head as she started rocking against him a little harder.

He wrapped his arms around her, holding her as they moved against each other.

Abby whimpered into his mouth. She was fast reaching that edge and she was trying to hold back until she was able to bring Becker right along with her.

The only problem there was that he was determined for her to go over that edge first.

"Hilary," she whimpered as she pressed her face into his neck. "Hilary."

"Yes, love?" God, he loved that whimper.

"I can't," she whimpered again. "I'm trying to hold..."

His only response was one final, very deliberate thrust.

That was all it took for Abby to clench around him and make a low keening sound in her throat when she finally collapsed against him.

And her clenching around him was exactly what it took for him to come quietly, with barely a gasp.

Abby was having a hard time catching her breath as she clung to him, her body still shaking every few seconds as tremors went through her.

"Is it ever going to be anything other than mind-blowing with you?" he wondered aloud.

"I hope not. I wouldn't want you to get bored."

"I could never get bored with you," he said, smiling at her breathlessly. "Ever. Not even if we were a hundred."

She smiled, feeling comfortable where she was curled against his chest. "Think we'll still be doing this when we're that age?"

"Probably nowhere near as aggressively, but I like to think we'll still be shagging each other at that age, yes."

"What a wonderful thing to look forward to," she said drowsily.

"It is, isn't it?"

"Getting old doesn't seem as scary when I think about it with you."

"I like the idea of getting old with you."

"I never thought I'd get old, but you make me hope I do."

"You will if I have any say in your life, love."

"I hope that you want to have a say in my life."

"I do. I very much do."

"Then I'd love for you to."

He smiled lazily at her. "This was the best possible ending today could've had."

"I liked this ending."

"Only thing that'd make it better would be falling asleep with you in my arms," he said with a smile.

She nodded against his chest. "Falling asleep in your arms is one of my favorite things."

"Why?" he asked curiously, even as he lifted his head slightly to press a kiss to the top of her head.

"I feel loved. Safe. Connected to you."

"That's all I ever want you to feel."

"You make me feel loved and so very much more, Hilary."

"You know, when you say my name, I actually kinda like it."

"I think you have a nice name... but I'm glad that I'm the only one that calls you that."

He smiled, running a hand idly over her back. "You should probably stop talking," he said. "Your throat's going to be sore enough in the morning as is."

"But I like talking to you."

"I don't want you to be all unable to talk, though."

"I know, but not being able to talk to you right now bothers me."

"Love, listen to me. I've got my hot girlfriend naked in bed with me. I don't _need_ talking."

"You're more than I deserve, you know that?"

"No, I'm not."

"How about you're more than I have ever hoped for?"

"What little girl doesn't hope for the world?"

"This one."

"Why not?"

Abby shook her head. "It's not important."

"Yes, it is. Everything about you is important to me."

"Please don't, Hilary. I don't want to ruin the time we're having by dredging up ghosts and pains from the past."

"Then promise me you'll tell me about it some other time."

She nodded. "Some other time," she whispered. "I promise."

"All right, then." His hand was still lightly running over her back. "In that case, why don't we get you into a nice warm shower and then something resembling a pair of pajamas so you can get some sleep?"

She didn't want to move away from him, but she understood the wisdom of what he was suggesting. "Will you stay with me?"

"Of course I will."

"I promise not to seduce you in the shower," she said with a smile.

"Aw, man..." he whined.

The giggle wasn't out loud because it would have hurt, but her body shook against him with silent mirth.

"Do feel free to seduce me in the shower under normal circumstances, though."

"I certainly plan on seducing you wherever and whenever I can, and I fully expect you to do the same."

"Oh, I will," he promised. "I will."

She just smiled at that as she reluctantly moved off of him.

He smiled warmly at her as she moved before he slid off the bed to join her.

She waited for him before she walked down the hall and into the bathroom.

He was happy to follow her, watching her as she moved.

She was in the shower and bracing herself against the wall as water poured down on her.

He stepped behind her in the shower, running his fingers down her back teasingly.

"No fair teasing," she murmured. "I'm supposed to be getting cleaned up so you can tuck me into bed."

"We said you couldn't seduce me; we never said I couldn't seduce you," he countered. Even so, he pulled his hand back.

"I'm not allowed to seduce you because you're worried about me being able to move tomorrow," she teased as she turned around in the shower to look at him.

"I can't help it," he said with a lazy grin. "You just get to me."

"You get to me, too, but you said I needed rest."

"You do. Sorry."

She pouted but then winced when she tried bending her neck backwards.

He caught the wince. "What's the matter?"

"Just my throat and neck. Probably from where he threw me into the wall by my throat."

And that would be Becker letting out a growl of the not fun kind. "God, Abby, I'm so sorry."

"Why? You didn't do anything wrong. And you said you took care of the man who did this to me, so I'm not worried." She gave him a soft smile.

"I'm still sorry. Because all I want to do is protect you, and I failed this time."

"Don't," she said fiercely. "Don't you take responsibility for this. You were doing your job and keeping us safe on a site. There was no way you could have known there was trouble at the ARC."

"I'm not doing very well at this boyfriend thing so far," he said. "You got hurt, for one thing. For another, I can't stop wanting to shag you senseless. I apparently have my priorities out of order."

"Hey now! I look at you right now and all I want to do is be on my knees in front of you for awhile, so I'm thinking that your priorities are matching up with mine." She shook her head. "I think you're doing pretty well at being my boyfriend. There's nothing about working for the ARC that's normal and no other boyfriend in the world has probably had to deal with even half of what you do."

He laughed softly. "I have to be honest, you kind of lost me after the bit about wanting to be on your knees for a while. Mind went to a happy place."

Abby giggled. "Yay for distracting your mind."

"Is it horrible of me that one of my thoughts is how sad it is that I'm not going to have your mouth on me again until your throat heals?"

"It's not horrible at all. I see a lot of tea in my future..."

"Because that's kind of one of my favorite things you do." He looked almost embarrassed as he said it.

"I enjoy doing it to you, love," she said with a shy smile.

"Good. Because I'd feel like shite if I enjoyed something you didn't like doing."

"Oh, you have nothing to worry about in regards to that. I'm not one of those girls who would do something that I don't enjoy."

"This is definitely good to know." He grinned. "Besides, even if you didn't enjoy it, I'm sure we'd manage to find a compromise somehow."

Abby laughed hoarsely and then nodded. "I have no doubts that there are so many things that we haven't tried together. Yet."

"But we will," Becker said, touching her face gently with one hand. "One thing our sex life will never be is dull."

"Life together at all will never be dull," she leaned into his hand, closing her eyes.

"But it'll be quiet sometimes. Calm. Peaceful."

"That would definitely be nice times to look forward to."

"Might not be often, but that just means we'll treasure them all the more." Becker smiled. "I should step aside and let you finish washing up, shouldn't I?"

"Or you could help me wash my back where I can't reach... and tell me how bruised I am?"

"The worst of it's your throat, honestly," Becker said as he reached for the washcloth. "But your back's showing evidence of a couple really nice bruises." He smiled and added, "And then there's your hips. But those are the ones I made, so they don't count."

"No, those definitely don't count because I enjoyed getting those." She leaned her head forward against the tile. "I'm going to be in bed all day tomorrow, aren't I?"

"Yes, you are. But I'll be home pampering you, so it's all right."

"Oh I like the idea of being pampered," she mused. "Could get spoiled by it, though."

"And the problem with that is... what, exactly?"

"I'll let you know when I think of one." Her voice was starting to sound groggy as she leaned against the shower wall and let the hot water pour over her.

"Whatever you want tomorrow, I'm yours. And tonight I'll let you have the bed to yourself if you want to sprawl out."

"No!" She turned suddenly, almost losing her balance. The thought of being alone filled her with a panic she couldn't describe right now. "Please don't."

He caught her when she wobbled. "I didn't mean I'd leave," he soothed. "I just meant I'd sit in a chair by the bed, is all."

She shook her head. "I want you in the bed with me."

"Okay," he said gently. "Okay, then. Just wanted to offer."

She bit her lip and looked up at Becker with tears in her eyes. "I don't know if I could sleep if you're not there right now. Every time I close my eyes I see him."

"Want me to hold you?" he asked. "Or do you just want me there?"

"Hold me," she said instantly.

"Okay, then." He smiled at her gently. "And if I seem pushy, I'm sorry. I'm just making sure I'm doing what you want right now."

"I want you with me."

"Then you'll have me with you."

"God I sound so weak and clingy."

"No, you sound like someone who needs to let someone else do the being strong for a little while."

"I'm not very good at that," she said, reaching to turn off the water.

"Just give it a try," Becker said as they got out. "You're doing good already -- you've said you want me with you."

She nodded, reaching for the towel. She had managed to wrap it around her before there were tears sliding down her cheeks. She couldn't have explained why if he asked.

He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. "Ssh, love, it's all right," he said softly. "You're safe."

Abby clung to him, just letting the tears come. She had been so damned scared for so many reasons.

"You're safe and you're loved and everything's alright," he whispered. "Now, come on. Why don't we get you into some pajamas and into bed? I'll even give you one of my shirts."

Abby nodded, trying to wipe her eyes.

Becker pulled back and wiped her tears away before taking her by the hand and leading her back to the bedroom.

"They were going to kill all of us, weren't they?"

"Yeah," he said as he dug up a t-shirt for her, coming up with one that was big even on him. She'd be swimming in it. He was hoping that would give her some kind of comfort.

She brought her head down as she pulled up the shirt and took a deep breath. It smelled of the detergent he used and it made her feel a little more secure.

He just smiled, giving her that moment while he came up with a pair of pajama bottoms for himself.

She crawled up into the bed and waited for him to join her.

He slid into bed, wrapping an arm around her and pulling her close. "I love you," he whispered.

Once she was close against him, some of the shaking stopped and she was able to relax against him. "I love you."

"And you're safe now. You're _safe_."

She nodded, and gradually the trembling stopped. She was safe. She was safe and he would keep her that way.

"You're safe," he said again, rubbing her back gently with one hand. "You're safe and I'll never let you get hurt again."

"I know," she whispered against his chest. "I know. My Hilary."

"I will always be your Hilary," he whispered back. " Always."

"I like the sound of always," she said trying to stay awake.

"I'll say it any time you need me to."

"Mmmhhmm." Was Abby's contribution as she finally lost the battle with sleep.

Becker just laughed softly, pressed a kiss to the top of her head, and let his eyes drift closed.


	8. Chapter 8

Becker woke first the next morning; he thought about slipping out of bed to make coffee, but he remembered the way she'd reacted the other morning when he'd done the same thing. Things were settled between them now but he didn't want to risk that same reaction. Seeing Abby cry damn near broke him.

So he just shifted a little, pulling her closer against him, and watched her sleep.

In her sleep, Abby hadn't moved away from Becker. It seemed that even when she wasn't awake, she just knew that she was safe and loved. When he shifted her closer to him, she opened her eyes for a brief moment and then closed them again.

"If I'm dreaming I don't want to wake up."

"Not dreaming," he promised. "This is real."

"You kept the nightmares away from me," she murmured, nuzzling his chest.

"I tried to, anyway." He ran a hand over her hair. "Almost got up and made coffee."

"What changed your mind?" Her eyes were still closed and she was still pretty tired. Her throat was killing her, which is why she was using small sentences to communicate today.

"I didn't want you to wake up and get scared again. I didn't want you to wake up and think I'd left again."

"I know better than to think that now," she assured him in a whisper.

"I wanted to be sure, though," he said. "Figured now wasn't the time to test that." He smiled gently. "But since you do know, you want some coffee? Or tea?"

"I'd love coffee, but I'm going to say that tea would be better for my throat."

"Tea it is, then." He kissed her lightly before pulling back.

She snuggled into the pillows and blankets and watched him. She could get used to seeing him in the mornings like this.

He smiled at her before heading to the kitchen to make both of them a cup of tea.

Abby turned carefully over on her back. It seemed like every muscle in her body was hurting today. Becker had been right when he said she would be stuck in bed for a day or two. There was no way she could do any of her normal activities right now.

He was back a couple minutes later, two cups of tea in hand. "Here you go," he said, handing one to her. "God, you look like you're hurting. Is it horrible of me that I'm wishing it was just because of me and not because of everything else?"

Yeah, Becker, shagging her yesterday probably hadn't helped, either, so stop worrying.

She grinned at him. "No, because I was just wishing the same thing." Her voice was raspy and she wrinkled her nose.

"Though not to be crass, but the lower achings are partly my fault, so that's good." He grinned and sat on the bed with her.

" _You_ are allowed to be crass."

"Doesn't seem right being crass with you when it can't lead to anything."

"Not right now, no, but talking will definitely build the intensity for when I can."

He took a sip of his tea and looked at her curiously. "So you like it when I talk like that?"

She blushed and then nodded. "Because it's so different than how you usually are."

"It's a... release for me," he admitted. "A letting go, kind of."

"There's nothing at all wrong with that," she took a small sip of her tea.

"It lets me tell you what I want to do to you without having to filter it for politeness."

"Which is a really big turn on," she said with a smile.

"This is definitely good to know." Because he really did want to know the stuff she liked.

She took another sip of her tea. "I like seeing that side of you."

"It's a side I've never let out before," he admitted.

"You never have to worry about letting it around me, love."

"I think that's why I like letting it out," he said. "Because somehow I just... I knew right away that I didn't need to hide it from you."

She gave him a smile that was brilliant even for all of the pain she was feeling. "I'm glad that you can feel like that with me. I never want you to feel you have to hide anything from me."

"Wish I could remember if I let myself talk like that the first time we were together or if this is a new development," he said, returning the smile before taking another sip of his tea.

She wrinkled her forehead as she tried to remember then shook her head. "I can't recall, either."

"Well, if I did, obviously you didn't mind it." His logic could be just as special as hers sometimes.

She smiled at him. "I believe that I like your logic."

"It's damn good logic, isn't it?"

She nodded. "Very sound." Because she was an unbiased opinion. She sipped more of the tea. "This is good."

"Anne's big on tea and coffee," he explained. "She tends to foist her favorites off on me in an attempt to broaden my horizons."

"I'll have to thank her when I meet her," she said shyly. "Though, I'm sure she won't be happy that I gave her brother a heart attack on just the second day we made it official between us." Had it only been a few days? She truly felt they had been together longer.

"You kidding me? She's going to love you for that. Well, the basic concept of it."

Abby gave him a very confused look.

"The giving me trouble part," he explained. "Not the actual what that trouble was part."

"Telling her some psycho tried to kill me would probably not make for great dinner conversation."

"Well, that part wouldn't be a good lead-in, at any rate."

"No, not at all."

"Anne lives to make my life difficult. Case in point, shagging a guy who also likes making our lives difficult. So you giving me a heart attack means you fit right in."

"Except that I didn't do it to make your life difficult," Abby said with a small smile.

"No, you didn't," he agreed.

She nodded and drank some more of her tea. "I'm nervous about meeting your family."

"Why? They're going to love you."

She looked very intently into her tea. "Families and I don't tend to get along too much."

"Look, we'll start small," he said gently. "We'll have Anne over for dinner some night, see how that goes before we worry about introducing you to the rest of the family."

"You must think I'm being incredibly difficult," she said hoarsely before she drank more of the tea.

"Not at all."

She gave him a surprised look. "No?"

"I mean, I'm wondering about why you're so scared of meeting my family, but if you're scared of it than you're scared of it. That's hardly being difficult."

There was so much that she wanted to say, but they hadn't been together long enough that she thought she should dump years of issues on him. She finally looked down into the cup again. "I want them to like me, but families don't tend to," she finally said.

"As long as I like you, that's all that matters," he said. "And I more than like you."

She gave him a shy look. "One day, I promise I'll do my best to explain, ok?"

"As a matter of fact, Abby Maitland, I'm rather in love with you." He grinned. "So I'll wait absolutely as long as I have to for that explanation."

That did make her blush. "I'm rather in love with you, too."

"I like hearing you say that."

She swallowed and then met his eyes for a moment before looking away. "I've had more than one family who decided that they didn't want me after all."

"Then they were stupid."

It was obvious that the rejection still hurt as she played with her tea.

"My family is going to love you, Abby. Know why? Because you make me happy."

"I want to make you happy."

"Well, don't worry. Because you do."

She smiled at him and finished the tea, laying back against the pillows.

He took her empty mug and set it aside, along with his. "So, how's a day of cuddling and mind-numbing television sound?"

"As long as you're with me, it sounds just about perfect."

He smiled. "I promise to behave, too. Today's all about you resting."

"As long as we're at least cuddling or snuggling, I'll try to behave."

"I promise, lots of cuddling. And maybe a little snogging, if you're up to it later. But that's it."

"You're pretty wonderful, you know that?"

"Ah, I'm all right."

"You're more than alright."

"You're the wonderful one."

She blushed, ducking her head.

"You're so beautiful when you blush."

She shook her head. "I think that you may have a little bit of partiality."

"So? Where's the problem with that?"

She let out a breath and then turned her head to watch him for a long moment. "I'm still not sure how I got so lucky as to have a chance with you."

"I like to think of it as the universe or whatever's in control out there deciding that you deserved something good in your life," he said as he snuggled down in bed, reaching out to her.

Abby curled up against him and enjoyed the feel of his arms around her. "I hope that I end up being good for you, too."

"You already have."

"You really think that after such a short time?"

"You showed me that you really did want me, that you hadn't left me to hurt me," he said. "You took a chance on me again, when it was probably a scary thing. You stayed in my life. So yeah, I really think that."

"It was a little scary because I didn't think you'd want to take a chance on me," she admitted. "But we're here and together."

"Thank you for taking that chance on me," Becker said, tipping her head up to kiss her tenderly. "Because for the first time in four months, I feel complete."

She lost herself in kissing him for a few moments. "I've never made someone feel complete," she mused.

"Well, now you have," he murmured, sliding his hand back to cup her neck carefully.

"Does it sound too dumb if I say the same thing, when you've already said it to me first?"

"Not at all," he said, brushing his thumb against her cheek.

"Because I've never felt this whole and this at peace, before, Hilary."

"I'm glad I could make you feel like this." He smiled warmly at her.

"You make me feel loved," she nodded, closing her eyes. "You make me feel safe... and that you trust me and feel safe with me."

"I could never feel anything other than safe with you," he said, pulling his hand back slowly and snuggling down again.

"You have no idea how nice that makes me feel," she murmured.

"Tell me, then?"

She snuggled against him, drowsy from pain and warmth that she didn't think about her words before she said them. "I've always been the weird girl, the non-conformist, the one that you don't keep with you except for having the ability to brag to your friends that you shagged a wild girl -- or the one your friend couldn't get." She smiled into his side. "But you don't make me feel like that. I'm important to you and you show me that by trusting that you're safe around me."

"To be fair, I'd _like_ to brag that I'm shagging you," he admitted. Because really, the fact that she wanted him was still amazing to him.

"Coming from you, I wouldn't mind," she responded. "Because I know that to you I'm much more than just a shag."

"You are oh so much more to me," he said, hugging her gently. "You're the woman I love. The incredibly attractive woman I love. Who could blame me for wanting to brag a little when I've got someone like you?"

"I love you very much, Hilary," she murmured.

"I love you, too." He shifted slightly to find a better position. "Go back to sleep, love." He could hear the tiredness in her voice.

"Not tired," she argued even as her eyes were falling closed.

"Uh-huh. Right," he said, amused skepticism in his voice. "You sleep, I'll be right here with you."

"My beautiful and wonderful Hilary," she whispered as she faded into sleep.

 

When she woke a few hours later, Becker was indeed still there in bed with her. Only now he was the one who'd dozed off, one arm wrapped around her protectively.

His sleep was hardly a peaceful one, though, judging by the distressed noises he was making.

She frowned and touched his face gently with her fingers. "Becker," she whispered as loud as her voice would allow her to. "Becker love, wake up, you're safe now."

His only reaction was to pull away, tossing slightly, and yell, "No! Damn it, let her go!"

Abby paled. Whatever nightmare he was having, it was an intense one. She forced more words through her throat. "Hilary, Hilary wake up, it's all right." She paused. "Love, _I'm_ all right."

"Stop hurting her!" There was clear anguish and terror in his voice. " _No_!"

"Hilary!" Abby made her voice as loud as she could and stretched her body out along top of his so that when he opened his eyes he would see her. "Hilary, open your eyes. I'm right here, safe with you."

His eyes snapped open at that. Breathing heavily, he looked at her in sheer terror.

She placed a hand against either side of his face. "It's alright, love. It's alright. Just a bad dream is all."

"It was like I could see it," Becker said, his voice cracking. "I could see him hurting you."

She nuzzled him, still laying across him, offering him what comfort she could. "But I'm going to be fine," she whispered. "And because of you, he can't hurt me again."

"But I didn't know that," he said. "In the dream, I didn't know that."

She laid gentle kisses along his face and continued to do so until she felt him relaxing a little bit more.

He couldn't do anything but relax with the way she was trying to take care of him, trying to make him feel better. "God, it was so scary."

"I'm sorry you had a nightmare like that, love," she murmured, continuing to kiss him lightly.

He whimpered softly, turning his head slightly to kiss her properly. "I'm sorry you had to see me have it."

"Don't be," she whispered. "I'm glad I was here to bring you out of it."

"I thoroughly approve of the method you used," he said, wrapping an arm around her and keeping her on top of him.

She smiled, leaning down to kiss the tip of his nose.

Becker grinned at that. "You are adorable, you know that? Absolutely adorable."

"It's a side that you seem to bring out more and more in me."

"It's a side you should show more often."

"I'll do my best to try, how about that?" Because some things were so ingrained in her.

"That's all I ask, love."

She smiled. "I like hearing that." It amazed her just how much she enjoyed hearing her referred to as his love.

"Hearing what?" he asked, looking at her curiously.

"You calling me your love."

"I like saying it, so you're in luck." He grinned.

She lifted her head and smiled at him. "A girl could very definitely get used to it."

"Feel free to get used to it," he said. "Far as I'm concerned, you're stuck with me forever."

"Oh, I like the sound of that." She was surprised by just how much she did like the sound of being with him forever.

"Something else I need to remember to keep saying, then?"

"Just remember to keep being you," she murmured. "That's all I need."

"I'll do my best to never let you down," he said solemnly. "And... I really am sorry you had to see me having that nightmare. Couldn't have been enjoyable for you."

She lifted her head so she could look at him. "Don't apologize. I'm glad I was here. You wouldn't want me apologizing."

"But I said I was going to be the one taking care of you today. Instead, you had to take care of me."

"Becker... Hilary... if we're going to be together, seriously together, then we take care of each other."

"No, I know that. I get that. But you're not supposed to have to take care of me _today_ , not on the day I said was all about you."

"So make it all about me starting from now, then," she said logically, snuggling against him.

"That's playing dirty, bringing logic into it," he said with a laugh, wrapping his arms around her.

"One of us had to do it."

"Oh, again with the logic." He laughed softly. "So... how would you like me to make it all about you today?"

"Hold me. Make me tea. Talk to me. Don't complain if I snore. Find some old movies." Her eyes widened. "Rex. Rex and Sid and Nancy."

"Want me to have Connor bring them over?" he offered. "Get a little prehistoric puppy pile going?"

"You don't need to do that. I just have to know that they're okay."

"I'll go call Connor and find out, then."

"Make sure he's okay, too?" Her voice was filled with sadness. "Cutter was... he was like a father to him."

"I will," Becker promised, kissing her lightly before pulling away and slipping out of bed.

While he was out of the bed, Abby curled up with the pillow he had been sleeping on. In such a short time her entire world had changed, but he was the one good change and she didn't realize how much she was clinging to his pillow.

Becker took the phone into the living room, stretching out on the couch as he dialed Connor's number.

It took awhile for the phone to be picked up, but it finally was. "Hello?" That wasn't Connor's voice. It was Sarah's.

"Sarah, hey," Becker said. "Where's Conn? Wanted to see how he's holding up."

"He's sleeping, finally," Sarah said quietly. "I've got both him and Jenny here at my place. I figured it was better than either of them being alone." She sighed. "How is Abby? Has she woken up yet?"

"Yeah, she's awake," Becker said. "Wants to know how Rex and Sid and Nancy are doing. And how Connor's doing, of course."

"Oh thank god. Connor was a wreck because he didn't know what happened after we all left the building." Sarah sighed. "Rex is fine and is here with us. When he couldn't find Abby, he attached himself to Connor. You may have to come get him as I have no idea how to care for a depressed lizard." She paused. "Sid and Nancy are at the flat, but Connor wants to bring them to my place. So, if you could go get them and bring them here when you come get Rex, that would help a lot. I'd do it, but I can't leave. The medic sedated Jenny."

"No problem," Becker assured her. "I think having Rex here would be good for Abby, anyway. Offered to bring the little terrors over here, too,but she just wanted to know they were all okay.

"I think that having Sid and Nancy would be good for Connor and Rex for Abby." She rubbed her head. "How are you?"

"Had a nightmare," Becker admitted candidly. "That Abby had to wake me up from."

"Of what happened?" Notice she didn't specify.

"Of what happened to Abby." He specified for her. But only a little.

"I can see how that might cause nightmares," Sarah said with sympathy. "But she's going to be all right and she'll heal."

"She is. I'm spoiling her rotten today, so she's in a pretty good mood... well, considering everything."

"I'm glad that she has you, Becker. She needs you, but I'm sure you've realized that already."

"I have." Becker sighed. "Let me get going, then, tell Abby what's going on."

"Thanks, and give her a hug for me, will you, please?"

"Of course. See you in a bit."

Becker hung up and made his way back into the bedroom.

Abby had been dozing lightly, but she opened her eyes when she heard him.

"Need your keys," he said. "Need to go over to your flat, pick Sid and Nancy up, and take them over to Sarah's. And then I'm bringing Rex over here."

Her eyes widened. "Connor?" She rasped, sitting up. "Has something happened to him?"

"No, no, he's fine," he assured her quickly. "He's just staying with Sarah. She thinks maybe having Sid and Nancy there would be good for him. And we get Rex because she doesn't know what to do with a depressed lizard."

She nodded. "My keys are in the pocket of my pants." She frowned a little. "Why is Rex depressed?" Oh, Abby.

"Probably because you're not around," he said as he found her pants and dug her keys out of the pocket. "Okay, I'm off. I'll have my cell with me, so call if you need anything. And I mean _anything_."

Her eyes darted up to his. "You'll be careful? And the doors will be locked until you get back?" She apparently wasn't as over her attack as she was trying to make him believe.

"I'll be careful, doors are locked, and there's a gun in the top drawer of my dresser if you need it." Come on, like he wouldn't have at least one in the flat?

She nodded, reaching out to tug him down so that she could kiss him before he left.

He returned the kiss, deepening it for a moment before reluctantly pulling back. "Rex and I will be back soon."

"I'll be here," she said softly, squeezing his hand gently.

He squeezed her hand in return before heading out.

When she heard the door lock behind him, she settled back into the bed. She knew she wouldn't really sleep until he got back. She got up once and that was to get the gun and moved it to within an easy reach.

 

It'd taken Becker nearly twenty minutes to get Sid and Nancy into carriers and get them into the car, and then another twenty to get to Sarah's place. Twenty minutes during which all Nancy did was make loud piercing cries he hadn't realized she was even capable of making.

So it was no wonder he stood on Sarah's doorstep looking like he wished he had earplugs.

Sarah opened the door immediately when she saw Becker arriving through the window. "Becker, thank you -- and ow!" She stared at the carriers. "Please tell me that they are capable of making other noises besides that."

"See the look on my face? This is twenty minutes of that. If they don't shut up, this will be you."

"I'll lock them in the oven first," she teased gently, taking the carrier that was holding Nancy. "Maybe they just miss Connor and Abby."

"I hope that's it or I'll feel really bad about leaving you to deal with them."

"I'm the one that asked you to bring them," she reminded him. She turned and then ducked as Rex flew to Becker.

"I'll still feel bad," he said, setting Sid's carrier down as Rex tried to settle on his head. "Um... thanks, Rex?"

"Rex, the first depressed dinosaur I have ever encountered," Sarah said shaking her head.

"I'm going to have to take one of the carriers so I have something to take him home in, unless you brought him over in something."

"He sort of just flew into the car and sat there next to Connor," she said.

Rex chirped at Becker, sniffing at his shoulder and then peering into his face to chirp again.

"How about it?" Becker asked Rex. "You gonna be good if I just walk you to the car?"

Rex chirped again, sniffing at his shoulder and nudging it with his head. That shoulder? Happened to be the one Abby had been sleeping with her head on earlier.

"Okay, then," Becker said, reaching a hand up to affectionately pat Rex. "Let's get you home to Abby."

Rex chirped at him and curled around his shoulders as he waited.

Sarah laughed softly.

"Tell Jenny and Connor I said to call me if they need anything."

"I will," Sarah promised. "And you let me know if you or Abby need anything."

"I will." And with another affectionate pat to Rex's head, Becker was heading back to the car.

Sarah watched him leave and then shut the door, going to check on Connor and Jenny.

 

Becker let himself into his flat quietly, just in case Abby was asleep. Rex still perched on his shoulder, he made his way to the bedroom.

Abby wasn't asleep and when she first heard the door open, she tensed. When she recognized Becker's footsteps, she relaxed, smiling slightly in relief.

Becker shooed Rex off his shoulder as he walked into the bedroom. "Go say hi," he told the little creature.

"Rex!" Abby's shout would have been louder if her voice wasn't practically gone. However, that was plenty enough for Rex, who flew to her happily.

Becker just stood there for a moment, smiling faintly as he watched them.

Rex chirped and nuzzled her and Abby's arms closed gently around him. "I was worried about you, buddy."

"I think he was worried about you, too."

Abby looked up at Becker and she smiled. "Thank you."

"You're welcome, love." He grinned. " I can't spoil you in all the ways I want to, so this is the next best thing."

She reached a hand out for him, even as Rex was busy chirping at her and investigating her hair.

He went to sit with her on the bed again, taking her hand in his.

She leaned against him, smiling as Rex continued to investigate her hair and anything else he could get to. "I'm glad you're home."

"Would've been sooner if I hadn't had to fight Sid and Nancy into their carriers," he said, laughing softly. "And then the ride over to Sarah's, where Nancy wouldn't stop this keening shriek the entire damn time."

"Oh, poor Nancy. That means she's scared," Abby explained. "I didn't even think to warn you about that. Sid just chews holes in things when he gets scared."

"I'm amazed he didn't gnaw through his carrier, then."

Abby smiled at him. "How do you know he didn't?" She reached out to rub his cheek. "How are Connor, Jenny and Sarah?"

"Sarah's frazzled," Becker said, smiling at her touch. "Connor was asleep and Jenny was sedated."

Abby winced. "Poor Jenny. I had a feeling..."

"This hasn't been a good couple days for any of us."

She shook her head, not being able to put into words her own grief over Cutter. It was too sharp and too fresh. "She loved him."

"Oh, Jesus." Becker sighed. "I'll call Sarah again later, see how Jenny's doing. See if I can do anything for her."

"I think Sarah and I were the only ones who knew," Abby whispered.

"I can imagine the pain she's feeling right now," he said, wrapping an arm around her. "Because I very nearly lost you, too."

"But you didn't," she said, burying her head against him and trying not to let him see the fear she still felt. "I'm here with you."

"I'm never going to stop being grateful for that." He felt something against his head and glanced up to see Rex. "I think he just head-butted me. Either he's saying hello or he's telling me to stop upsetting you. Or both."

"He's saying hello and trying to make friends with you," she murmured. It was also probably a little of both of the things Becker mentioned. Rex was seriously attuned to her moods.

"Hey, you," Becker said, lifting a hand to Rex. "I'm being nice, I promise."

Rex nudged his hand and chirped at him, below flying up to investigate the room from above.

"I love you," Becker said quietly to Abby. "I always will. No matter what." At the moment, it was one of those things that couldn't be said too often.

She moved closer to him, needing to feel that security and safety. "I love you, too. Always and forever." She paused for a moment. "Oh. Your gun is underneath the pillow..."

"Let me just put that back and then I'm yours for cuddling," he said, sliding his hand under the pillow to retrieve the weapon.

"Rather cuddle with you," she nodded solemnly.

He put the gun away quickly and rejoined her in bed, wrapping his arm around her. "You can cuddle with me all day, love."

She settled against him, her breathing calming down now that he was here with her again.

"It's okay," he said softly, holding her close. "It's okay. You're safe and I'm here now and today's just a lazy day for a couple in love."

She hadn't realized she was shaking until she was curled up close to him. She focused on his voice and finally nodded, laying her head against his chest.

He shifted in bed until they were both laying down. "Today's going to just be calm and quiet and relaxed. Don't have to do anything if we don't want to."

"So if I just wanted to stay wrapped up and sleeping in your arms all day?"

"Then you could."

"Will it make the rest of the world stay away for a little while?"

"No, but anything that wants to get to you is going to have to come through me first."

"I don't want you to ever get hurt because you're trying to keep me safe, Hilary," she murmured against his chest.

"It's my job to keep you safe. As your boyfriend, I mean," he added, realizing how that could've sounded.

"That just means that as your girlfriend it's my right to try and keep you safe, as well."

"Well, yes. But right now, you're the injured one, so my job takes priority."

"Your logic is circular," she muttered, kissing his chest.

"Oh, like yours is any better."

"I'm on pain killers," she teased. "That means my logic is instantly right."

"No, it just means I have to let you win or you'll pout at me even more than usual."

Abby laughed softly, nuzzling his chest in affection.

"You know I'm right," he said, running a hand over her hair.

"My pouts are a dangerous weapon and I use them very carefully."

"You better not start using them on me."

"I would never use them on you unless I thought it was important that I do so."

Becker smiled to himself and ran his hand over her hair again. "I hope to rarely make you pout at me."

Because, face it. With their personalities, "never" would so not work for that.

"I hope for that too," as she started yawning from the meds she had taken.

"Go on back to sleep, love," he said softly.

"You'll be here when I wake up again?" Hopefully not for awhile since she needed the rest.

"If not in bed with you, then I'll just be out in the living room," he promised.

Abby nodded, and then soon was curled close to him sleeping deeply. Rex was watching her from the nightstand.

Becker just looked over at Rex. "Well, my friend, our Abby's going to be fine."

Rex chirped in a soft concern as he looked at Abby, but then when he looked at Becker, he growled a little and nodded in agreement.


	9. Chapter 9

Becker had actually stayed in bed with Abby the entire time, save for those fifteen minutes where he'd crawled out of bed just long enough to eat something. He didn't like the idea of her waking up alone, even if he'd just be in the other room.

He'd turned the TV on and kept the volume low, just for background noise, but he couldn't have concentrated on it even if he'd wanted to. How could he? He had Abby with him. Beautiful, fierce, delicate Abby. Watching her was better than anything on television.

"Hello, love," he said softly when he noticed her eyes flutter open. "You got a good bit of sleep that time." Several hours, actually.

"Throat and head hurts and I'm still so damn tired."

"Want another cup of tea?"

"Tea would be wonderful, sweetheart." She looked up at him in concern. "Have you slept at all?"

"A little," he said. "Mostly, I was watching you."

"Was I that interesting?"

"No, you were that beautiful."

Abby blushed.

"I couldn't help it," he said softly. "I just like watching you."

She smiled into his face. "You're really the sweetest man I've ever met."

"Well, I try."

"How are you feeling?"

"Less scared."

"I'm glad," she whispered. "I don't like it when you're scared."

"I don't like it, either." He touched her face gently. "I'm not supposed to be scared. I'm supposed to be the one protecting you." Hey, he'd said he was less scared. He hadn't said all the issues were gone.

She leaned against him. "It would have been hard for you to protect me when those goons separated everyone."

"And logically, I know that," he admitted. "But I see you hurt and logic goes out the window."

She nodded. "I understand that. I was scared for you, too," she said in her whispery voice. "I was afraid that you would try to fight back too much and that they would shoot you."

"I'm incapable of not fighting back," he said. "It's just not who I am. But I tried. Because I knew that if they hurt me, it'd hurt you."

"I would have died, I think."

"And I hate the idea of that."

"It's one of the reasons that I came up with the plan to get Connor out of the room he and I were being held in."

"I'm so proud of the both of you."

"It was brave of him," she murmured. "He didn't want to leave me but I convinced him that he was better with machines if he could get into the security feed."

"I'm especially proud of you, though. Because when you were being hurt... you _fought_."

"I wouldn't have known how to do anything else," she admitted. "I always fight. No matter what situation I'm in. I scared Connor, though."

"How'd you do that?"

"It's possible that I was mouthing off the guard when he first locked us up..." She looked down at his chest. "...before I came up with my plan to attack him as a diversion. I believe Connor thought I was going to get myself shot."

" _What_?" Becker yelped.

Abby winced. "Yeah."

"God, Abby, that was crazy!" There was panic in his eyes.

She ducked her head, biting her lip over the panic she saw in his eyes at what she had done. "He wasn't going to shoot me." She thought. "It wasn't part of his orders. He didn't try to kill me until I attacked him first."

"You have to be careful. You _can't_ get yourself killed, you hear me? I barely held it together with this; you die and I don't know what I'll do!"

"Hilary, calm down," Abby urged, making her voice come out a little louder than she should. "I'm all right. I was just as worried about you getting killed and I couldn't just sit there."

Her getting loud got his attention. "I know, I know," he said, starting to shift away from her. "Now, how about that tea we were talking about ten minutes ago?" he said, stilling for a moment. "Or do you want to be adventurous and split a cup of coffee with me?"

Her face fell when he moved away from her and she couldn't help her immediate reaction of trying to retreat into herself. "Whatever you like," she whispered, looking away.

"What did I do wrong?" he asked softly. "Talk to me, Abby."

"You moved away from me because I did something to upset you," she finally said, not looking at him, but instead looking at where Rex was watching her from the dresser. Only someone who knew her really well would realize she was trying not to cry.

"Oh, sweetheart..." He reached out to touch her arm. "No, it's not like that. Yeah, I pulled away, but it's what I do. When I get scared, I pull away until I can deal with it. It wasn't because of you, I promise."

She was looking down, trying to put her own fears and experiences into words. "I don't know how I'm supposed to react when you pull away. In the past..." She bit her lip and shrugged.

"In the past, it meant someone was leaving you," he guessed.

She nodded miserably.

"Oh, Abby my girl..." he whispered. "I will never leave you. _Never_."

She turned to look at him and there were tears in her eyes. "I'm sorry."

He leaned in to wrap an arm around her, carefully pulling her against him. "It's all right, love," he murmured. "It's all right, I promise you. I just need you to bear with me. I'll try to stop pulling away, but it's not always as easy as wanting to change it when it's what I've always done."

"I can do that for you." She nodded against him. "I can't promise that I won't scare you from time to time."

"Just... try not to? As much, anyway?"

"I'll try," she said slowly. "But I don't always think before I act."

"Just try," he said, pressing a kiss to her temple. "That's all I ask." He grinned. "Now, how about we split a cup of coffee? Half a cup might be good for you."

"Coffee?" Her eyes lit up.

"We'll start you out small. You'll share with me. Then maybe later you can have a full cup of your own," he said as he stood.

"Mmm... okay," she said, watching him move.

He headed off to the kitchen and got the coffee started. As he waited, he realized just how lucky he was to have a girl like Abby.

A couple minutes later he was back in the bedroom, holding the mug out to her. "You can even have the first sip."

She bounced up and smiled a little more before she took the first sip. "That's love, giving away the first drink."

"Especially since I know how you are with your coffee," he said as he sat. "Any other time, I'd be lucky to get the cup back at all."

She grinned before she took another drink and then handed the cup to him.

Their fingers brushed as he took the cup. "I love you," he said softly. "And I'm never leaving you. And I'm never pulling away from you with the intention of hurting you."

"I love you, Hilary," she said softly. "And I'm sorry if I react badly to some things. I'm.. I'll try."

"That's all I want," he said. "You'll try for me and I'll try for you."

She nodded. "Okay."

He took a sip of the coffee and then passed the cup back to her.

She took another drink, but then shook her head and gave it back to him. "Mouth says god yes, throat says sod off."

"Oh, so many dirty things I could be saying right now," he joked as he took the cup. "So, so many."

She grinned at him.

"Because God, do I miss being in your mouth right now."

"There's a simple solution to that."

"Enlighten me."

"It generally helps if you're not wearing pants."

He should have protested, but instead he just set the coffee mug aside and pushed his pajama bottoms down.

"You should stand up," she instructed, moving herself to the edge of the bed.

Curious, he slid off the bed and stood.

She moved to the edge of the bed and with him standing and her sitting right there, she was at the perfect level where she wouldn't accidentally hurt herself by moving her neck wrong.

He looked down at her. "I don't want to hurt you, Abby."

"Shush," she said with a smile. "You're not going to hurt me." She reach out and closed her hand around his base, taking long gentle strokes.

"Oh God," he whimpered, shivering at her touch.

Abby continued with gentle strokes. "Besides," she whispered, leaning to lick along his slit. "If my throat is going to hurt, I'd much rather get to make the choice as to why it's sore."

He let out a shaky laugh. "At least this is enjoyable hurt," he agreed. "And you can pretend it's the only reason your throat hurts."

"And it's a much more enjoyable reason for me to have no voice, hrm?" She didn't wait for his answer before she was taking his tip into her mouth and swirling her tongue around.

He let out a shaky, whimpering laugh. "Thought I'd have to wait weeks for this," he managed to say.

She pulled back enough to smile. "Never underestimate the determination of your girlfriend, Becker," she murmured before sucking a little more of him into her mouth.

"Never again," he said, moaning softly.

Abby wrapped her tongue around the head of his erection, sucking on it lightly before she pulled more of him a little deeper into her throat.

"Careful," he whispered. "Careful, love."

She looked up at him even as she swallowed him deeper.

"You really are determined to make yourself hurt for a reason," he gasped.

She gently held onto his hips as she swallowed all of him, then back off to the end. She ran her tongue around his slit, before swallowing him completely into her throat again.

"Oh, God," he whimpered. "Please. Please, Abby."

She rested her face against his abdomen as she swallowed a couple of times, letting her throat muscles ripple and clutch at his cock as she took it as deep as she could.

He had a feeling he should be hating himself for wanting her to do this when her throat was still hurting so badly, but that would've required rational thought, and there was no way he was capable of _that_ with Abby's mouth doing happy happy things to him.

The fact of the matter was that Abby was wanting to be doing things things to him with her mouth, which was why she started slowly moving up and down his length. She would stop every few moments to let him settle in her throat and then she would make the swallowing motion.

"Don't stop," he whispered, fingers of one hand combing through her hair. "Please, please don't stop."

She had no intentions of stopping, so she ran her hands down his ass, clutching at his muscles there as she started moving her mouth and tongue around him a little faster.

Becker moaned loudly as Abby's mouth moved up and down him. "God, I thought I'd have to wait for this," he gasped. "Thank you, Abby. Thank you." He was murmuring the two words over and over.

She dug her fingers into his arse as she swallowed him completely into her throat, before moving her mouth back off of him slowly, so very slowly. Then she moved her tongue around him, enjoying the tremors she could feel moving through him even now.

"Jesus, Abby, how is it you _do_ this to me?" He moaned loudly. "Close. So close." He didn't need to warn her, he knew, but considering her throat... it seemed only polite.

She was aware he was close and that was why she moved her mouth and tongue even slower along his cock, licking and sucking as her lips stretched around him.

That slowness undid him; he came with a quick inhaled breath and a gasp of her name.

She held onto him, supporting him through his orgasm as she swallowed everything that he had unleashed into her mouth and down her throat. When he was done, she leaned her head against him, getting her breath back.

He ran a hand over her hair soothingly. "That was amazing, love."

"Wanted to feel you in my throat again."

"How's your throat feeling now?" he asked as he moved to sit next to her on the bed.

"Tingly," she murmured, knowing if she said sore he'd feel guilty and stop her next time.

"Good tingly or bad tingly?"

"Oh, very good tingly."

"I meant it," he said softly. "Thank you for that."

"I wanted to do it just as much as you wanted it, love," she smiled. "I love being able to make you feel like that -- so unhinged and needy."

"You're the only person I've ever been that needy with."

"I'm glad. I'd be a little jealous or think I needed to compete with someone over how good I can make you feel."

"You will _always_ be the best at making me feel good."

She turned to kiss his abdomen again before getting to her feet and pressing her body against his so that she could kiss him thoroughly and deeply.

He moaned into the kiss, pulling her down to the bed with him. "My perfect girl."

"Not so perfect, but definitely your girl."

"To me, you're perfect," he said firmly.

"And you're my wonderfully perfect beautiful guy."

He pulled her close for a hug. "I love you, Abby," he whispered. "I love everything about you."

She snuggled against him, her arms coming to rest at his waist. "I feel the same way about you, Hilary," she whispered. "I can't imagine not loving you. It's like you're meant for me and only me."

"I like that idea," he confessed. "Because I've been with other girls, and one or two of them even really meant something to me, but none of them meant what _you_ mean to me."

"I've never felt like this, this strong for someone being with me, either," she said quietly. "There were a guy or two that I cared about, but nothing felt this right. I didn't feel connected."

"And it's important to feel a connection. Otherwise it just doesn't feel quite right."

She nodded. "Otherwise, it's just shagging... and that's not for either one of us. There's more -- has to be more."

"And we've got more, with each other."

She smiled. "We have a lot more. We _have_ each other."

"And that's more than I ever dreamed of."

"I never thought I'd be this lucky."

"Well, you were." He smiled fondly.

"I am. I can't believe it sometimes, but I am."

"I can't believe how lucky I am, either," he admitted.

"You're a wonderful man, Hilary," Abby said, looking at him. "Anyone would be lucky to have you in their lives."

"Yeah, but I got the woman I wanted."

"I'm very glad that you wanted me."

"I will always want you, Abby," he said seriously. "I can't imagine ever not wanting you and I can't imagine life without you."

She stared at him for a very long time. "No one has ever wanted long term with me. It's... different."

He looked at her uncertainly. "Good different or bad different?"

"Good different in that I want to be with you."

He leaned in and kissed her gently. "I love you, Abby my girl." He nipped playfully at her lip before pulling back. "Now, how about we get you dressed and tucked back into bed?"

"I don't like being sleepy so easily," she complained.

"I know you don't, love. I hate seeing you like this. But you'll get better and then I can get you tired out for an entirely different reason."

She nodded and pulled a t-shirt on but nothing else before she climbed into his bed.

He put his pajama pants back on before crawling in next to her.

Once he had gotten into the bed with her, she snuggled up close to him.

"One good thing about this is it gives me plenty of time to hold you."

"We should make time for you to do that, then, even after I'm healed."

"I don't want you to think I'm trying to be clingy." How his mind made the leap from cuddling the girlfriend to being clingy was a mystery to the universe.

"Would you want me to feel comfortable clinging to you when I needed a cuddle?"

"Of course, but it's different for me," he said.

"Why?"

He was quiet for a moment, trying to find the right words. "I'm not supposed to cling."

"You're allowed to cling to me," she said softly. "We've been through a lot in the last few days."

"I'm supposed to be strong for you, though."

"We're supposed to be strong for each other. That's what love is."

"But you're the one who was nearly strangled. Now is when you need me to be strong for you."

She leaned up to look at him. "You were strong. You faced the fear that you almost lost me and now you're holding me when I really need it... and you're not laughing at me over panicking when you went out earlier."

"Why would I laugh at you?"

She shrugged lightly. "I freaked when I was left alone and I've not done that for a long time."

"After what you went through, you're allowed to freak a little." He smiled uncomfortably. "I'm not supposed to like holding you so much, though."

She frowned. "Why? I happen to enjoy that you like holding me so much. It means that you do care and not just for show."

Again with the needing to find the right words. "I don't want you to think that I'm too needy. Because honestly, I'd be happy with always holding you whenever we're alone together."

"But you're clingy with _me_ ," she stressed. "That's fine because you love me and... I like being held by you. Even if you never wanted to do anything else together for the rest of our lives."

He smiled slightly. "Because when I have you in my arms, it's like I'm home."

"For me, too."

"And I don't mean to be difficult about this, I just have a hard time reconciling the fact that it's okay to like holding you with the fact that I'm supposed to be strong for you."

Abby didn't know how else to convince him that she loved how he was with her, so she let her kiss do the talking instead.

Luckily, he was smart enough to listen to the kiss and what it was saying. He returned the kiss, sliding one hand back to cup her neck and hold her there.

She would have smiled had she been able to, but instead, lost herself in kissing him, making him see how much he meant to her.

"I love you," he whispered when they finally broke the kiss to catch their breath.

"My Hilary," she murmured. "I love you so much."

"And it's probably utterly ridiculous to thank you for... well... what you just did to me, but..." He smiled. "Thank you. I mean it. I know your throat was hurting before you did it, but you did it anyway."

"I wanted to," she assured him. "I needed to."

"Needed to?" His brow furrowed slightly.

She nodded. "I'm not sure if I can explain it," she said haltingly. "I need to know... that I was all right and that you were here and... " She blushed. "I needed to feel you."

"You couldn't have just shagged me again?" Asked in perfect seriousness.

She bit her lip, her forehead crinkling slightly. "That was more... more intimate... more about being able to focus completely on you at the moment." Hell. She wasn't explaining how much she enjoyed being able to get him to react like that and how important it was to know she wasn't permanently damaged.

"When it's us having sex, your feelings are mixed in there, too," he said. "But like that... well, obviously your feelings were still mixed in, but differently."

She nodded. "I was able to focus completely on making you feel good."

"And you did. Oh, you did." He smiled shyly. "I even managed to forget for a little bit that your throat was hurt."

"That was part of the point, love. To make you just let go and enjoy yourself."

"But I actually did it."

She nodded.

"I didn't worry -- well, I did a little, but I didn't let it stop me."

She smiled at him. "I'm glad."

"It felt good," he admitted. "To _not_ worry all that much about if I was hurting you."

"You didn't hurt me and I needed to be able to feel that I could make you come unhinged like that."

"You will always know some way to make me come unhinged."

"That sounds like a very good thing for me since I love it when you do."

"Whether it's your mouth or your hands or your body or whatever, you will always be able to satisfy me. And God, that sounded so objectifying."

She grinned. "I love it when you talk like that."

He looked at her in confusion.

"When you just talk about what you want or enjoy," she said, leaning up to kiss him.

"I'd talk like that a lot more, I'm just... not sure it's appropriate," he said, returning the kiss.

"Never be worried about talking to me, no matter how it comes out," she said, nuzzling him.

"You sure?"

"Yes, love. Very positive." She smiled at him. "You shouldn't have to worry about what you say when we're alone."

"Even if I tell you that the moment you're healed, fully healed, I'm shagging your brains out on every available surface in this flat?"

"Oh, I think that I would be very interested to know that bit of information."

"In that case..." He kissed her lightly, deepening it after a moment. "The moment you're fully healed, I'm shagging your brains out on every available surface in the flat."

She moved so that she was laying stretched out on top of him and kissed him for a long moment. When she came up for breath, she swallowed, looking into his eyes. "I hope I heal very quickly, then."

He looked up at her, nearly losing his resolve. "So do I, love. So do I."

She kissed him again. She would never get tired of kissing him.

"And I think the first place is going to be the kitchen," he said teasingly.

She laughed. "Like dessert on your kitchen table?"

"You read my mind."

She leaned in to kiss his chin. "I'm very special that way."

"I'll admit, though, that beyond that I have no idea where I'm going to shag you. I figure 'everywhere I can' is enough of an idea." He grinned cheerfully.

"I love your ideas."

"Good." He kissed her playfully. "I love you, Abby Maitland. You're my little miracle."

"I love you, too, Captain Hilary Becker." She gave him a curious look. "How am I a miracle?"

"You're the love of my life, that's how."

She blushed. "I hope I never let you down, love."

"I can't see how you ever would."

"You have more faith in me than I do."

"That's my job, Abby."

"You're good at it."

"I'm good at a lot of things I put my mind to."

She gave him a look. "Oh?"

He gave her an innocent smile.

She nuzzled his chest.

"You've already learned several of them, I'll tell you that much."

"Good at getting me to come completely apart at the seams?"

"That'd be one of them, I suppose."

She smiled and leaned back against him. "You make wonderful tea and coffee."

"That's definitely another," he agreed, holding her close.

"You're very determined, while also having a sensitive side that you hide."

"I've had to hide it."

"But hopefully you won't hide it from me when we're alone?"

"I'm trying not to," he said. "It's kind of hard not to, but I'm working on it."

"That's all I can ask. You stop hiding yourself from me and I'll try, too."

"Perfect." He hugged her against him. "Though in a strange way, it helps knowing that you have trouble with hiding yourself, too. Means I'm not trying to fight the urge alone. I mean, I know I have you, but this is different."

She nodded. "Its something we can work on together."

"I like the thought of that," he admitted. "Not necessarily the part where we're trying to deal with it, but... the fact that we _do_ have each other."

"We will always have each other, Hilary," she murmured.

"Always," he agreed.

"Then nothing can defeat us."

"It might not always go smoothly, but as long as we have each other, in the end nothing else matters."

"Exactly," Abby said drowsily as she lay her head back down on his chest.

"Go to sleep, love," he said. "You exerted yourself, now your body's telling you to rest."

"This having to sleep all of the time is beginning to get annoying," she mumbled, yawning in the middle of it.

"Hopefully you won't be that way much longer."

"God I hope not. I'm no fun like this and we have work to get back to."

"You're plenty fun," he assured her. "And we've still got a day or two before we can really get back to anything."

She nodded slowly, biting her lip as the crushing grief fought to get a hold of her again. "I suppose you're right."

"So we're going to spend that day or two in bed, cuddling and dozing and making sure you're rested so that you can get back to work when you want to."

"Can you..." She swallowed, not wanting to feel needy, "Can you get your higher up commanders to give you the time off or will they recall you from this assignment?"

"I'll make it happen, love."

"I can't go through this alone," she hunched her shoulders, hating the weakness she was feeling.

"You won't have to. I promise."

She nodded, knowing meant the words, but not sure that his commanding officers would be so understanding.

He didn't care if they were understanding or not.

She curled up against him fighting to keep her eyes open. "I feel stupid that I'm so scared to be left alone right now. I'm not like this."

"Don't feel stupid. There's no need to feel like that."

"I'm not usually like this," she said against his chest. "I'm usually the one doing the protecting and the soothing."

"I'm a protector, Abby. It's what I do, in my way. I'm not very good at the quiet conversations and the snuggling. I'm trying, but it's not easy."

"You're wonderful at this, love. You are."

"I'm just saying that we're both getting a little of a role reversal here," he reassured her. "We both have to realize that it's okay to be the way we are. It's okay for you to be freaked out and clingy and it's okay for me to be unsure about how I'm doing at taking care of you."

"Because when we're in love it's okay," she murmured. "I may cling to you for awhile, Hilary. I was really scared."

"Cling to me as long as you like."

"You're an amazing man."

"No, I'm just me."

"You're my just me." She frowned a moment. "That sounded so much better in my head.”

He laughed softly. "Don't worry, I know what you meant."

"Oh good. I'm glad I didn't sound like a complete gibbering idiot."

"I'd never think that of you."

"Oh I think that of myself plenty of times," she said cheerfully.

"But I'd never think it." His loyalty to her ran damn deep.

"That's because you're a sweetheart."

"You are kind of adorable when you get all gibbery, though," he admitted.

"You're kind of biased."

"So? Where's the problem?"

"I'll let you know when I have an answer to that."

He just made a face at her and grinned.

She laughed and then yawned.

"I keep telling you, go to sleep."

"Hilary?" There was a hint of vulnerability in her voice as she tried to fight against the sleep.

"Yes, love?"

"You'll stay with me while I'm sleeping, right?"

"Of course I will."

She nodded, some of the fear in her eyes fading. "Thank you."

"You don't need to thank me."

She would have responded, but she had already fallen asleep, her head nestled on his chest.

Becker just shifted slightly before wrapping his arm around Abby, holding her close as she slept. He'd promised he'd stay; he was going to keep that promise.


	10. Chapter 10

A short time passed and after Abby was healed up to Becker's standards, they settled into a comfortable relationship with each other. It was a smoother transition that what happened at the ARC, but soon, even work was back in a rhythm that both of them adapted to. Danny Quinn came in to take over the leadership of the team after Jenny resigned. However, just because she resigned from being on the active team didn't mean she was no longer involved in every aspect of their lives. She wasn't about to let go of her friendships that easily.

Of course, being off of the active team meant that she wasn't there to witness what could have become another heartbreaking tragedy.

A Dracorex had come through an anomaly and of course their team was sent to the site to contain it and try to get it back home. It wasn't that simple. These things were annoyingly reliable in not being simple. The Dracorex hadn't come from _her_ time, but from the time of a Medieval knight who followed her through the anomaly.

Becker had tried arguing with Abby when she said she was going to help the dinosaur and removed the length of lance that had been shoved into her side. He realized that Abby wasn't going to let the dinosaur not be tended and he finally tranquilized the creature and helped her get it to a garage where she was trying to remove the weapon.

He didn't plan on watching as the knight came in the room to kill the creature, only for his girlfriend to place herself between the dinosaur and a sword.

"Abby, no!" Becker yelled, terrified and fighting to hide it. "Don't _do_ that!" The knight was going to kill her and he couldn't do a damn thing about it.

Unless he killed the knight first.

"I'm not letting you hurt this creature," Abby said calmly.

"You will die for this creature?"

Abby nodded and the tip of the sword was placed against her throat. Her eyes didn't widen and she didn't even look as scared as her friends knew she had to be.

"Becker," Connor said in a panic. "Shoot him!"

"No!" Sarah yelled. "You can't. Killing him will mess up the timeline and he'll never do what he is supposed to do."

While they argued, that blade was getting really close to Abby's throat. Now the blade was laying right alongside her neck.

"I don't give a fig for timelines right now!" Becker said, lifting his weapon. "I _can't_ let him hurt her."

Abby was convinced that the blade had broken skin and that when Becker saw that he was going to be pissed.

"Becker, you can't let him kill Abby!"

"You're determined to protect the creature?"

"I am."

"Then you will die with it."

Everything happened at one. The knight let out a yell and Connor and Sarah shouted, and Danny cursed. There was no sound from Abby and Becker stepped closer, fearing the worst.

The knight had turned and sliced his sword into a barrel of petrol. Abby had fallen back against the trailer that the Dracorex was still sedated on.

Weapon still trained on the knight, Becker took careful steps towards Abby.

Abby was pale and dazed, but she didn't appear to have been hurt by the knight and his sword.

"Are you alright?" he asked. "Talk to me, love."

"I'm all right," she said quietly. Her pupils were wider than normal as she looked at him. "Just landed wrong when he went barmy."

Becker lowered his weapon and crouched to help her up. "You sure?"

Abby nodded, letting him help her up. She was going to be sore later from the impact with the ground, but she wasn't hurt. "The Dracorex?"

"Still sedated," he replied.

She nodded. Now that the danger was over, she could feel her hands start to shake. "I don't like swords."

"I know, love. I know." He wrapped an arm around her and pulled her close against him, not caring what it would look like to anyone else. Half of them already knew.

She buried her face against his chest, starting to shake even more. "I couldn't let him hurt her."

"I couldn't let him hurt _you_ ," Becker said, pressing a kiss to the top of her head.

"Is everyone else all right?"

"Everybody's fine," he assured her.

She nodded, leaning against him and hugging him. She didn't care if anyone said anything.

"I love you," he whispered. "Don't ever scare me like that again. Please?"

"I love you." She tightened her arms. "I'm sorry, but I couldn't just let him kill her. I didn't know he would take it that far."

"I know, I just... I got scared." He swallowed. "Stay with me tonight?"

She nodded. "Yes."

"I just need to hold you. Remind myself that you're safe."

Except he'd probably do more than just hold her.

"I need that, too," she admitted. She would also probably do more than just hold him, too.

"So we'll go back to my place, we'll curl up in bed, and we'll watch bad television."

Every time they tried that, it just ended in shagging.

"This sounds like a very good plan," she murmured. It was highly likely she was talking about what always happened when they made innocent plans.

One of these days, they'd end make innocent plans that stayed innocent.

Today probably was not going to be that day.

Tomorrow wasn't looking good for that, either.

 

They were back at his flat an hour and a half later, and as soon as they were through the door he was pulling her into his arms and holding her tightly.

Abby was still shocked by what had happened and her body started shaking as she held onto Becker. "I'm alright. I'm okay." It wasn't clear which one she was trying to reassure.

"But you almost weren't," he mumbled against the top of her head.

"He went barmy."

"Yeah, he did."

"That was a sword." Abby was so the master of the obvious sometimes.

"Yeah, love. It was a sword."

She shook her head and then reached up to pull his head down to hers. "Hilary."

"I was scared," he said, kissing her tenderly.

"Me, too." She admitted. How did he always know what she needed?

"I don't want to lose you, but I especially don't want to lose you like that." He let one hand rest against the small of her back as they kissed, his other hand cupping her neck so his thumb could brush gently over her cheek.

"You didn't lose me," she murmured, leaning in close to him. "I'm right here."

"But I almost did." He deepened the kiss slightly. "That was scary."

She started tugging at his shirt. She had been scared she was about to leave him and it wasn't a feeling she knew how to deal with in any other way but being close to him.

He pulled away to take his shirt off, dropping it to the floor. He didn't know how to deal with it, either; really, this wasn't such a bad way. It was a way they both knew and they knew it well already.

She was already undoing her shirt as he dropped his to the floor. Once her shirt was off, her hands were moving to undo his pants.

He kicked his shoes off, backing towards the bedroom as she moved with him, undoing his pants.

They so weren't going to make it to the bedroom this time. Not with the way they were so focused on getting each other out of their clothes.

Becker was out of his clothes first; he pushed Abby up against the nearest wall, making short work of the rest of hers.

She pulled at him, her body pressing against his as she kissed him fiercely.

He lifted her up, urging her legs around his waist.

She wrapped her legs around him, tugging at his hair.

He half laughed, half moaned at that as he pressed impatiently against Abby.

"Hilary, please!"

He entered her without a second thought. "God, I love this."

"I love you... and that you always know..." She tightened her legs around his waist, tugging at his hair and then his lips with her own.

"That I always know what?" he gasped, biting at her lower lip aggressively.

"Me," she groaned, kissing him hard.

"We belong together, Abby; of course I know you."

She tugged at his hair again.

He groaned and thrust harder. "I love it when you do that."

She pushed herself against him. "That's why I do it."

This wasn't going to be a particularly gentle time, but he didn't care. All he wanted was to love her, claim her, reassure himself that she was still safe and still his.

She needed him to claim her, to take her. She needed to know she was in his arms and this wasn't a dream.

He'd happily take her, as often as she wanted, if it meant things were all right now and that she wasn't hurt.

"My Abby," he said, kissing her and biting at her lip again. "My girl."

"Yours," she agreed, tightening her legs around him. "Always yours."

"I was so scared," he said as he moved against her. "He had that blade to your throat... I was terrified."

"I was, too," she said, arching against him.

"But you were fierce and strong and you didn't let it show."

"If I showed him I was afraid, he would have killed me."

"And then I _definitely_ would have killed him."

"Sarah said it was too risky to hurt him."

"I don't care. If he'd killed you, I'd have taken him out." The grief would've been too much to bear.

Abby pressed herself against him again, "Love you."

He slid his hands up from her waist to lightly stroke her sides. "God, losing you would've killed me."

She tightened her legs around his waist, running a hand up to touch his face. "I was so scared he was about to take you from me."

"Nothing is ever going to take us from each other," he said, turning his face towards her hand.

She shook her head. "I couldn't bear it."

"We won't let it happen."

"No," she whispered, moving her hips against him. "Never."

His hands drifted back down to clutch at her hips as he thrust into her harder.

"Yes, Hilary," Abby tightened herself around him. "God, I love you."

"Love you, too." He groaned. "God, so much. So, so much."

She whimpered, her arms locked around his neck.

He kissed her fiercely, desperately. "I can't lose you, Abby. I _can't_."

"I can't lose you, either, Hilary. It would destroy me."

"So we stay safe. However we do that." He bit at her lower lip again, moaning into the kiss.

"We do," she agreed, bucking against him.

"Your lip's gonna be bruised in the morning," he said, not quite nonsensically.

"I don't care."

"Good. Because I need to do this right now." He bit sharply at her lip again. It was entirely possible she'd have a little bruise in the morning, too.

She bucked hard against him. "I need you to do things like that right now."

"I can't do gentle right now, love. I'm so sorry."

"Don't be sorry," she gasped, her nails digging into his shoulders. "That's not what I need right now. I need you. I need you not holding back."

He groaned loudly when she did that, the slight pain mingling with the overwhelming pleasure and making him thrust harder.

She braced her back against the wall so that she could match his thrusts with arches against him.

"The idea of never being with you like this again scares the shit out of me," he said, sliding one hand up to cup a breast as he moved against her.

She shivered, moaning softly. "You will always have me."

"You promise?" He needed the reassurance in the wake of nearly losing her.

"I promise, love, I promise."

He grinned and thrust as hard as he could, without any warning.

She cried out, but it wasn't a cry of pain. It was a wild cry of enjoyment.

He thrust the same way again, something about that sound just resonating with him.

She wasn't to hold back from making that sound again, even as she bucked her hips sharply against his. They were both going to be bruised and sore tomorrow.

He didn't care about being bruised, though. He just wanted to be with her, to feel alive and safe and happy and loved.

"I love you so much!"

"Love you, too." He repeated it over and over as he moved against her, barely having time to gasp her name before he came.

She shuddered against him, whimpering his name as she clutched at him.

"I... needed that so much," he whispered.

"Me, too."

He kissed her lightly. "You're mine."

"Always."

"I like the sound of that." He smiled against her lips. "You're amazing, you know."

She nipped at his lip. "I was just about to say the same thing about you."

He whimpered softly.

"I will never leave you like that. Never."

"You better not."

She tightened her legs around him. "Mine."

He whimpered again. "I like when you get possessive."

"We both seem to have that trait."

"Do I need to apologize for it?"

"Never."

"Good, because I wouldn't have really meant it."

She giggled, kissing him again.

"I kind of don't want to move right now," he admitted.

"I'm too heavy for you to hold like this for very long."

"So how about we enjoy it for the next couple minutes, then?"

She moved against him in response.

He whimpered softly. "Just like that, yeah."

"I love it when I can make you whimper."

"Why?"

"Because it's something that's all mine."

"Damn right it is."

She grinned.

He reluctantly pulled away a minute later. "I'd hold you forever if I could."

"Oh that would be wonderful, but it would make working a little hard."

"Yeah, it would," he agreed as he set her down carefully.

"But a lot of fun to try."

He laughed softly. "It certainly would be."

She leaned against him as she waited for feeling to come back to her legs.

"Can we spend the rest of the night cuddling?" he asked.

"I'd be upset if we didn't."

He swept her up in his arms, cradling her against him as he slowly made his way towards the bedroom.

She settled against his chest. She loved it when he held her like this.

He set her down gently on the bed a moment later.

When she was on the bed, she tugged at him.

He joined her on the bed, snuggling up against her and wrapping an arm around her waist.

"I love you, Hilary."

"And I love you."

She smiled, moving her head to rest on his chest.

He ran a hand over her arm idly.

"This is one of my favorite parts of spending time with you."

"Really?"

"Really. Holding you, being held."

"It's peaceful, isn't it?"

"Yes, it really is."

"We deserve peaceful, especially after today."

"God yes."

"I don't recommend this as a consistent way to get peaceful, though."

She laughed softly. "No, I have no desire to have a sword that close to my throat again."

"Nothing is getting that close to your throat."

"Nothing?" She pouted.

"Well, nothing that doesn't belong to me."

She smiled, kissing his chest. "Good answer."

"Because I'm quite fond of certain parts of me being near your throat."

She shivered. "Me, too, love."

"I probably like it more than I should."

"Oh, no such thing."

"See, that's my thinking."

"Then you have nothing to worry about."

"Color me not worried."

She ran her tongue along his chest. "You've been colored."

He laughed softly. "Dork."

"Your dork."

"Damn right you are."

"Your dork wants a kiss. A kiss like you do when you're unhinged."

He tipped her head up and kissed her slowly at first, deepening it hungrily after a moment.

She moaned into his mouth, running her hands along his sides as they kissed.

"Love you, Abby my girl," he whispered into the kiss.

"Love you, my wonderful Hilary."

"Always will."

She kissed him again, sucking on his bottom lip.

He moaned into the kiss, resting a hand against her side as he leaned into her.

She liked his reaction and her tongue licked his lip.

He moaned again, pressing against her, one leg draping over hers.

Abby took her time, just slowly kissing him for long moments at a time.

"I love you," he whispered into one of the kisses.

"I love you." She kissed him gently again. "My Hilary."

"Yours." His hand grazed the side of her breast.

She smiled, pressing herself against him as she went back to kissing him.

He let his hand cup her breast gently as she pressed against him. Even if it wasn't leading to anything, he still loved touching her.

"I love feeling your hands on me, you know that?"

"Why?" It was asked conversationally.

"Because they're so strong and at the same time so soothing."

He kneaded her breast gently, teasingly. "Soothing is good."

She squirmed a little. "And extremely arousing, too."

"Oh, really?" He tweaked her nipple between two fingers. "Good to know."

Abby whined softly.

"You like this, huh?" He tweaked her nipple again.

She nodded, her body quivering.

"How much?" Yet another tweak.

"God," she moaned softly, shivering more. "So much."

"Tell me what you want right now, Abby."

She whimpered, but her eyes had already started to darken. "You."

"How?"

She swallowed, trying to calm her racing heart as she looked into those eyes of his. She knew what she wanted, but it was the putting into words that she still wasn't good at. "Behind." She finally whispered. "From behind."

His only response was to shift his position and kneel.

Abby whimpered again, reaching up to kiss him before fitting herself against his body.

He wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her upright against him as he pressed against her.

"Hilary!" Her voice was full of need and was almost begging him.

He entered her slowly, teasingly, his hands sliding up to cup her breasts.

Abby bit her lip, trying to fight back the sounds that were in her throat as she moved back against him.

"You feel good," he said, pressing a kiss to her shoulder. "Thought about this before."

"You never said anything," she said, reaching up behind her back to squeeze his hand.

"It hasn't been that long yet," he said. "I didn't want to scare you off by telling you I wanted this."

"You could never scare me."

"I'd hate myself if I scared you." He bit at her shoulder before sucking at the skin.

She made a keen of pleasure. "The last thing I think of when it comes to you is fear of any kind."

"Oh, I love that sound."

She smiled and did it again.

He pressed a kiss to the crook of her neck. "Now I can cross this off the list of things I want to do to you," he murmured.

"You have a list," she asked curiously. "Do I get to see it?"

"If you like. It's kind of embarrassingly long, though."

"Now I'm intrigued."

"Two choices. Either stop now and you get to see it, or you get to see it later." And really, he couldn't complain about either of those.

"Later," she whimpered. pressing back against him. "Later."

"I hoped you'd pick that one," he admitted, his hands kneading her breasts gently.

Abby moaned, closing her eyes as she felt his hands. "Like I was going to give this up?"

"You _are_ a curious girl."

"But I'm also greedy and wanted you to keep touching me."

"We win either way."

"There is that."

He thrust a little harder, his hands drifting down to grip her hips and pull her back against him with each thrust.

"God, love. You feel so good."

"You feel better."

She laughed. "I love you."

"Love you, too."

She leaned up onto her knees, wrapping her arms around his neck.

"Love you," he said again as he turned his head, kissing the corner of her mouth.

"I can't seem to get enough of touching you, love."

"Feel free to keep touching me."

She rubbed her back against his chest. "I was thinking of getting a tattoo."

"Really?" He shivered. "Of what?"

She took a breath. "A dragon wrapped around a very large gun."

"Oh, I like the sound of that. Why a gun, though?"

She chewed her lip. "Because dragons and lizards are symbols that represent me... and guns and weapons are my loving boyfriend."

"Then our initials need to be part of it, too," he decided.

Her face lit up and she turned her head to look at him. "You wouldn't mind me getting a tattoo that had our initials?"

"Why would I?" He frowned in confusion.

"Most people seem to think that it's tacky to get tattoos with the names or initials of their boyfriends or girlfriends. I don't understand their logic -- except maybe they think if that happens, they'll break up soon." She smiled. "I don't think that. In fact, it's kind of hot. Like a permanent claim and reminder of how much you love me."

"It's all in how the names are incorporated into the design, I think," Becker said, moving slowly against Abby. "Our initials, somewhere discreet, it could work."

She nodded. She moaned softly, enjoying the gentleness of his movements as they were talking.

"Put the initials inside the body of it," he said. "Except your initials on the gun and mine on the dragon. So you can look at it and see our claim on each other."

"Oh, I really love that. That would be the perfect representation of us."

"Maybe I should get something that matches," he mused, nipping at her ear.

She shivered and moved back against him. "Would you? Is that allowed in the military?"

"Somewhere discreet and they'll never even know about it."

"I'd love that."

"Then we'll figure out what I could get and we'll go together."

"Oh yes."

Becker grinned and pressed a kiss to the side of her head as he thrust a little faster.

She yelped, not expecting the switch from slow to faster and moved against him.

"I love catching you by surprise."

"You're so good at it."

"Damn right I am."

She lifted up again she she could rub her back against his chest.

He slid one hand up to cup a breast again. "God, I love touching you."

"Then you should do that... quite a lot in fact."

"I will," he promised, ducking his head to suck at a spot on her shoulder. "I will."

She shivered, whimpering a little when he did that. "Because you're really good at it."

He soothed his tongue against her skin. "Good to know."

She was stopped from commenting by the l0w moan that came from her at the feel of his tongue on her skin.

"Love you," he whispered against her shoulder. "Love you so much."

"I have never loved anyone as much as I love you," she whispered, her fingers reaching to run through Becker's hair.

"I've never loved anyone as much as I love you, either, and I never will."

"Mine," she murmured, leaning back against him.

"Yours. Always."

She smiled, rubbing her back against him again. "Me too."

"Oh God." He groaned and bucked against her.

"Oh, you like it when I'm just rubbing against you..."

"Uh-huh," he managed.

She lifted up on her knees again and leaned back into him. She could feel him moving deeper within her as she twined her arms back around his neck.

He buried his face in the crook of her neck and thrust harder, wrapping his arms around her waist.

She whimpered, loving how this felt and then she shivered. She loved that she was able to learn so much about what Becker liked. It was an added bonus that she enjoyed it just as much.

"You first," he whimpered against her skin. No matter what, he would always put her first, even when it came to something like an orgasm.

"With me," she whispered. "Together." She was so close that her entire body was shuddering, but she wanted to let go at the same time as he did.

He didn't say anything, couldn't say anything. All he could do was bite her neck to stifle his moan as he came.

Abby whimpered softly, bracing herself back against him as she reached her orgasm as well.

He pressed a kiss to the bite he'd given her. "Oh, wow, this is going to give you a bruise."

"Oh good. It means that I'll get flashes of this anytime something touches it until it fades, then."

"I think I bit a little too hard, it already looks like a deep bruise." And yet he couldn't bring himself to feel sorry.

"It felt really good, love."

"Good. I'm glad. Because if it hadn't, then I really _would_ feel bad."

She turned around and pulled him down to the bed so that she could snuggle with him. "I never have a problem with you leaving your mark, love. It always feels really good when you're doing something like that."

He wrapped an arm around her waist. "I like leaving my mark on you and I don't quite know why."

"Because I have a kink for you marking me?"

"I like that kink."

"You have been the only one to trigger that."

"You've been the only one to trigger my need to mark."

"Oh, I like that."

"And you're not the only one to trigger my hair pulling kink, but you're the only one to trigger it as hard as you have."

"And the last one," she teased.

"Unless we have a threesome or something, then yeah, you're the last one." He grinned at her.

She laughed at him. "I think I'm too territorial for that."

"Fine by me. I like the idea of spending all my attention and time on you."

"So do I." She gave him a grin.

"I love you, Abby my girl."

"I love you, Hilary Becker. My Hil."

"You say my name and I actually like it."

"It's beautiful, like you."

"It's still better than my sister's name, too."

"I love everything about you, you know that."

"I know." He grinned. "I'll take Hilary over Anne's first name any day, though. At least mine doesn't come with connotations of being a scheming bitchy harlot."

"I highly doubt that your sister is anything like that. I told you, I love her name and may even name my first daughter after her." There was no telling if she was serious or not.

"Anne might punch you in the face for that. Or think you're hilarious. One of the two."

"Jezebella Hilary," she decided with a perfectly straight face.

"We are _not_ naming our daughter that."

"It's gorgeous!"

"It's hideous!"

"It is not. It's beautiful."

"Hideous and painful," he countered.

She pouted.

"Oh, that is not working on me this time," he said. "I'll let you name her Hilary, but there is no way you are ever naming our daughter any form of Jezebel."

"Why? It's pretty!"

"I'm not naming any child of mine after a Biblical harlot!"

"So if I were pregnant and that was the name my emotional and hormonal heart was set on..."

"I'd be finding some way to convince it to go for another name."

"Jessamyn, then."

"That, I could live with."

"Jessamyn Nichole?"

"Now _that's_ a beautiful name."

She smiled. "Oh good. So now we know what our future daughter's name will be."

"I like the idea of having a daughter."

She nodded. "Me, too."

"Hopefully she looks like you."

"She'd still be gorgeous if she looked like her daddy."

"I like her mother's looks better."

Abby laughed and curled closer to him.

"This is nice," he said. "Just talking."

"It is. I like listening to your voice."

"I've never thought of my voice as particularly interesting."

"It is, really."

"Why's that?" he asked, wrapping an arm more comfortably around her.

"It can be both soothing and stimulating," she said, happy to be snuggled. "There's this husky undertone to your voice that is always there, but seems to come out more often when you're alone with me."

"You bring out all kinds of reactions in me."

"That makes me feel really nice that I do that."

"Why's that?" he asked, pressing a kiss to her head.

"Because it seems that even when you're really upset or angry about something, if I'm around, I seem to be able to help calm you down." Unless she was the one hurt or in a situation he didn't like.

"You have a really soothing effect on me," he agreed. "I like it. I like it a lot."

"It makes me feel nice that I can do something like that for you."

"You will never not have an effect on me."

"I love you and I'm glad I help."

"I just hope I help you nearly as much."

"Oh love, you do. You do so much. You remind me of something very important."

"What's that?"

"You remind me that there is someone that cares if something happens to me and that I'm not alone."

"You will never be alone again."

"Neither will you."

"God, that's an amazing thought." He nuzzled the side of her head. "Knowing that I'm going to have this brilliant, beautiful woman for the rest of my life."

"I feel the same way when I realize that you want to be with me."

"Us together forever."

"I like the sound of that."

"So do I." He sighed contently.

She kissed his chest, feeling content.

"I could fall asleep right now," he admitted.

"So could I."

"Feel free to drift off, love."

"Love you."

"Love you, too." He smiled sleepily.

It didn't take Abby long to fall asleep in his arms.

Becker watched her sleep for a few minutes; it wasn't until he was convinced that she was sound asleep that he let himself doze off.


	11. Chapter 11

Becker woke up later, not sure how long exactly they'd been asleep. Abby was still asleep in his arms, which made him smile. It also, however, meant that he had to try look at his watch without waking her up; since his watch was on the arm she was laying on, this was easier said than done.

Luckily for him and his arm, Abby moved in her sleep so that her head was on his chest as she murmured something. It was quite possible that she was dreaming about him since it was his name she said.

He smiled at that and checked his watch. Oh, good, it was only midnight. They had plenty of time to sleep. He settled back down, rubbing his hand idly over her arm.

He was a lucky, lucky man, he knew. Abby was an amazing woman, one he probably didn't deserve, and she was his. More than that, she was his forever.

Abby murmured something as she curled into him and then she whispered his name in her sleep.

Becker wrapped his arm around her, holding her close. As much as he loved doing certain other things with her, he loved holding her like this just as much.

Abby opened her eyes and looked into his. "I love you so much," she whispered.

"I love you, too," he said softly.

"What time is it and why are you awake?"

"A little after midnight," he said. "And I'm awake because I just woke up and couldn't get back to sleep."

"Are you alright?" Concern filled her eyes.

"I'm fine," he assured her. "I was just watching you sleep."

She smiled, relaxing as she snuggled against him. "My hair is probably a mess."

"You're beautiful no matter what."

That made her smile even more. "I think you are, too."

"You just say that because you haven't had to nurse me through being sick as a dog yet," he teased. "I'm ridiculously not pretty then."

"But you'll still be mine and I'll take care of you."

"I get really whiny," he warned.

"Doesn't everyone?"

"Only fair I warn you."

"I think I can handle it. I deal with dinosaurs."

"So do I," he said dryly. "And I get so whiny I annoy _myself_ when I'm sick."

"But maybe you won't next time because you know you have me to help take care of you."

"I like that thought."

"I'll always be here for you."

"That means the world to me, Abby."

She smiled softly at him. "I'm glad to be able to, Hilary."

He returned the smile gently. "I just hope I'll be able to be here for you as much."

"I have no doubts that you will be, love."

"I love the faith you have in me."

She smiled at him, running her fingers along his cheek. "I have complete faith in you."

"That's... amazing."

"I love you."

"And I love you. So much. So, so much." He turned his face towards her touch.

She continued to stroke his cheek gently.

"That's nice, love."

"So is touching you."

"I'll never stop you from touching me."

"Good because that would be awful."

"I love you, Abby. You can touch me whenever you want."

Abby grinned at him.

He returned the grin contently.

"My Hilary."

"Yep. Yours forever. Or until the end of the world. Whichever comes first." Again with the grin.

"The world will end before I stop being yours."

"Love you," he murmured, bringing one hand up to touch her face lightly. "Love you and love that you want to be mine."

"I have never wanted to anyone else's since I first saw you in that bar."

"I am so sorry for the reason you were there that night, but I am still so glad that that night happened."

"So am I, love. So am I."

"Because if it hadn't... we wouldn't have this."

"You're very right. I wouldn't want to give this up for anything."

"And even if we did have something, it wouldn't be this."

"And that's a painful thought."

"Entirely too painful."

"We need each other like this."

"We do."

"And I wouldn't let go of what we have between us no matter what."

"You're stuck with me, love."

"That makes me incredibly happy."

"I'm glad." He smiled almost shyly.

She leaned in to kiss him.

He smiled and met her with a tender kiss.

She ran a hand through his hair, her hand coming to rest against his face again.

"This is nice," he murmured.

"It is," she agreed. "I could stay like this forever."

"Me, too."

"Perfect."

"Works for me."

She snuggled close to him.

"I like holding you," he said. "I always have."

"It's nice to be held by you."

"Glad you think so."

"I know so, love," Abby said softly.

"Glad you're so sure of it, then, I should say."

She smiled turning her head so that she could kiss him.

He returned the kiss happily, deepening it slightly after a moment.

Abby cuddled closer, letting him deepen the kiss as he wished.

Becker let the kiss stay deep for a moment before lightening it.

She smiled, opening her eyes to look at him.

"I don't know what to say right now," he said softly. "Because this moment can't be any more perfect than it already is."

"Just tell me that you love me because I will never get tired of hearing that."

"I love you," he said. "I always will."

"I will always love you, too."

"Thank you for that."

"Thank you."

"You don't need to thank me, love,” Becker said gently.

"You don't need to thank me, either."

"I know, but I like doing it."

"So do I." She said. "I want to make sure you know how important you are to me."

"I do, love. I do."

She smiled, snuggling against him.

He just smiled in return and wrapped an arm around her.

"My Hilary."

"Yours," he agreed.

"And I'm your Abby," she murmured happily.

"You always will be."

"I can't think of anything better." She said, closing her eyes again.

"Neither can I, love. Neither can I."

She yawned slightly, curling against him. There was nothing that she could think of that she would enjoy more than this right now.

 

As peacefully as the night had gone, that was how eventful the next morning was -- between Sarah and Connor cracking the mystery of the artefact and Christine Johnson's sudden arrival.

"It's nothing personal, you understand?" Christine said to Becker. "All in the name of duty and all that."

"Yes, ma'am," he said with a slight inclination of his head. With Lester gone and Christine in charge, things weren't going to be nearly the way they had been. The woman had her own agenda, one Becker could see coming a mile away, even if he couldn't quite figure out _what_ her agenda was.

"You're a good soldier, Captain," Christine continued. "Keep it up and good things could be in store for you under my command." She gave him a frank look, sizing him up but with a little bit more to it.

He bit the inside of his cheek hard. "Yes, ma'am." This was not a conversation he wanted to be having with her, especially not with Abby and the others standing a short distance away and able to hear every word.

But he had plans of his own, or the beginnings of them, and he couldn't very well follow through on them if Christine thought he would fight her at every turn. "I appreciate the opportunity. I won't let you down."

He could practically feel Abby's eyes on him.

"Not if you're smart, Captain," Christine said sharply. "But you strike me as a very, very smart man."

"Well, I _do_ know what side I'm on." Words that could be taken a variety of different ways.

Christine nodded, apparently satisfied, and headed up to her office.

This left Becker alone to face the others.

Abby's face had paled as she watched the exchange. She couldn't believe that this was happening or that Becker had turned on Lester. She swallowed and shook her head, not being able to say the things that were going through her head.

It was Danny that stepped towards Becker and snarled. "You damn traitor. How could you turn on Lester like this? He trusted you!"

"I did what I had to do," Becker said simply. "You'll understand."

"No," Connor said simply. "We won't."

Sarah shook her head. "No, we can't understand that. Turning against Lester, letting that woman look at you like that with your girlfriend right there."

"Christine can look at me however she damn well pleases, she's not going to get anywhere with me in _that_ regard." He might have to put up with the woman, but there were levels he would not sink to.

Danny shook his head. "I'm not staying here to watch her destroy this place with you acting as her loyal lapdog."

Becker just swallowed slightly. "I won't stop you. She might have other ideas, however."

"She doesn't get a choice in what we do," Sarah said, frowning at him.

"If I'm ordered to take you into custody, I'll have to do it. You'd best be gone before then." It was the closest to an out he could give them.

And God, he had to tell Abby his plan. He knew he did. But would she even want to speak to him again?

Abby had been watching Becker while he talked to the rest of the team. There was something about the tone of his voice that had her on alert.

"Becker," she said, drawing his attention to her. "You have an idea about the sword?" If she was right, he would know that she was asking if he was pretending. If she was wrong, well, he wouldn't know what she was talking about and they all just got the hell out of here.

"An idea, yes." He fought to keep the relief from flooding his face. She knew he was pretending, thank God! He'd still have to explain to her, but it'd be much less painful than having to convince her he hadn't betrayed them.

She nodded, then swallowed, saying in a voice that she knew would carry to anyone Christine had listening to Becker. "Well, if you're working for that bitch, then you're not shagging me." She hoped he realized that she was protecting him, too, for whatever he was planning.

She turned quickly and started walking away from him.

Realizing it didn't make it hurt any less. "Abby, wait," he called. "We do need to talk about something."

If she turned back, she was going to cry and throw herself at him, therefore ruin whatever plan he had to get Christine out of the ARC. He was going to have to chase her down.

Danny glared at him. "You don't need to talk to her about anything."

"Sod it, Quinn," Becker said, starting to follow Abby. "This isn't about work, so stay out of it."

Abby continued walking until she found the storage room that she knew for a fact didn't have camera access and let herself in.

Becker let himself into the storage room a few minutes after Abby had entered it. He reached for her and pulled her into his arms, just clinging to her for a moment.

She clung to him, her entire body shaking. "Tell me that you have an idea how to get us all out of this," she murmured into his chest. "And if she touches you like she looked at you, I will gut her and feed her to Princess."

"I have an idea," he promised. "And if she touches me like she looked at me, I just might let you. I don't want anybody but you touching me."

"I don't want anybody but you touching me, either. Or touching you."

"I can live with the others hating me, but I couldn't bear the thought of you hating me as well," Becker said, running a hand over her hair.

"I could never hate you."

"I thought you might, for a moment. Before you realized I was pretending."

"I didn't hate you, but I was so hurt."

"I'm sorry, Abby. I am so, so sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. I love you too much to ever hurt you like that. Please forgive me."

"Now that I know what's going on, love, you don't need forgiveness."

"You're sure?"

She nodded. "I know that this is going to be dangerous for both of us, but I love you and I trust you."

"I love you, too." Becker's voice shook slightly. "It's going to kill me to have you pretend to ignore me for however long this takes."

"It's going to kill me, too," she whispered, her head against his chest. "But if it will keep you safe, I can do it."

"I hope she trips up soon so I can figure out a way to get her out of here," he said, running a hand over her hair. "God, my flat is going to feel so empty without you there."

"I'm going to feel so alone not being able to be with you."

"Then we have to make the most of these last few moments." He sighed heavily. "I don't want to let you go."

"I don't want you to, either."

"So I won't let you go just yet. We can spare a little more time." He pressed a kiss to the top of her head. "I'm going to make this separation up to you, love. I promise."

She nodded. "I know you will, love." She tried to keep the sadness and the worry out of her expression.

"However you want, I'll do it." He pulled back to cup her face in his hands and kiss her soundly, desperately. This was their last contact for God only knew how long; he wanted to make sure it was something they'd remember.

She whimpered and there was desperation in her movements as she returned his kiss and moved her hands up his back.

"I'm going to miss this," he murmured, worrying her lower lip with his teeth. "I'm going to miss everything about being with you."

"Then we better make a good memory while we can because we don't know how long this separation is going to last."

"We've got an empty storage closet and a few more minutes... I imagine we can come up with something."

Abby nodded her hands sliding into his pants as she kissed him.

Becker groaned softly. "Need you, Abby. God, need you."

"I need you, too," her voice was a soft whimper.

"What do you want, love? Let me do the best I can to make you happy for our next few minutes together."

"Take me, love. Hard and fast so I will remember you with every move I make until this is over and we can go home again." She looked up into his face. "Wild, possession, no gentleness."

"The others will wonder why you're having trouble walking, love." He pulled away from her but only to tug her shirt up impatiently. "They'll realize you had a shag. They'll hate you for coming back to me one last time."

"I don't care and they can eat their words later when they realize why you did what you did."

"In that case..." He grinned as they got her shirt off. "We'll have to be quick about this, for a change. But I think we can manage."

"I love you, Hilary," she murmured softly, tugging at his pants.

"I love you, too," he said, kissing her fiercely. "I will always love you."

"Same here. Your Abby, always."

"Promise?" His hands were fumbling at her pants now.

"I will always be your Abby," she made a soft noise of need. "Hilary, please. Too slow."

"Sorry," he managed, shoving Abby's pants down before pulling his shirt up over his head. "Not intentional."

Abby kicked her pants away and then was pressing her body against his, making desperate, begging noises.

Becker spun them, swiftly unclasping her bra and tugging it down her arms before dropping it to the floor and lifting her up against the wall. He pushed her legs apart a bit more and entered her, burying himself in her without so much as a warning.

Abby gasped, nodding and burying her face in his neck.

He thrust roughly, harder than he would've at any other time, but his desperation was riding him something fierce. This was the last time he'd have with Abby for God only knew how long.

Abby tightened her legs around him, tugging less gently at his hair than she normally would have. They had to make this memorable because it could be a long time before they'd be able to touch each other in any fashion again.

Becker buried his face against Abby's neck, biting less gently than he normally would've. He wasn't quite frantic about it, but close.

She mewled in her throat, moving against him with a strong sense of desperation.

His only response was to bite her neck again, sucking hard at the spot his teeth had sunk into.

She buck her hips against him, murmuring his name over and over again.

"God, Abby," he muttered against her neck. "Oh, God." If not for the reason why, this moment would be absolutely perfect in his opinion.

"Harder, Hilary," she whimpered. "I need to feel you deeper."

He pulled his head back to kiss her roughly, even as he thrust harder. One hand clutched tightly at her hip, the other slid up her side.

Her body arched against his and her hands tugged at his hair and his shoulders.

He bit the inside of his cheek hard to stifle a loud moan as he moved harder against her. "God," he managed. "Love you, Abby."

She couldn't say the words right now because she was trying to make the least amount of sound as possible -- just in case. Instead of words, though, she used her body and her hands to show him how much he meant to her.

He was right. She was going to be bruised and walking funny -- if at all -- later that evening, but right now she just didn't care about that. If this was going to be the last time they were together for the near future, she was going to make sure they both had a clear memory of it.

And oh, what a memory it was going to be for Becker. But it was going to be bittersweet -- the first time he'd gotten to completely let go with her was because they might not be together for a while. He pushed that thought aside, though, and bucked his hips hard against her once more.

She squirmed against him, tightening her legs around his hips to bring her closer against him. Her kiss was filled with both desperation and a ferocity that she rarely let herself show.

As much as Becker loved the ferocity, he hated the reason for it. But he forced himself to ignore that, to at least try and enjoy the moment. And he was, if his actions were anything to go by.

"Love you," he whispered, his voice cracking slightly. "Love you so much."

Abby nodded, unable to speak because she was afraid she would cry right now. She made him look at her and hoped that her eyes said everything she couldn't.

Becker just nodded slightly in acknowledgement before kissing her with a bruising ferocity. Already, he was close to coming. He was determined to wait, to make her come first or go over the edge with her.

The shared ferocity had Abby bucking hard against him, pulling his cock further into her. She was trying to keep them linked for as long as she could, but already her nerves were on fire.

Becker was a determined man, and his determination wasn't going to change just because of this. At the same time, he didn't want to let go.

Abby's voice turned to an almost silent series of yelps as she bucked against him, holding onto his shoulders as she moved almost frantically against her release.

He just kept moving against her, harder and harder, pushing her along and encouraging her.

Not able to hold back any longer, Abby buried her face in the crook of his neck while she clenched around him once more before she felt her orgasm push her over that edge.

That clench was all Becker needed; he bit his lip hard enough to draw blood in an effort to keep himself quiet as he came. What he wanted was to just let loose with her name; all he could actually do was a whimper low in his throat.

Abby held onto him, her body shaking as she forced herself to stay quiet while feeling their bodies shuddering against each other with the fierceness of their orgasms.

He didn't want to be the first to say something, to ruin the moment. Once they spoke, this was over and they had to go their separate ways. As long as they were quiet, he could pretend they had more time.

If the tears that were starting to wet his neck were any indication, Abby was thinking the same things.

Becker turned his head, pressing a kiss to Abby's temple. He loved her so damn much and it was going to kill him to pretend like they were no longer together.

"We can do this, yeah?" Her voice was small as she sought reassurance from him about this.

"We can do this," he said softly. "We can."

"And hopefully it won't be all that long."

"Hopefully, yeah."

"And me leaving this room in tears just adds to the lie."

"It does." But God, he hated that she was in tears.

"I should probably let go of you, then."

"I should probably put you down," he agreed.

"Too bad there isn't a handy escape anomaly."

"God, that'd be nice."

"It would be."

"But..." He sighed reluctantly and pulled back.

Abby nodded, removing her arms from his neck and pulling back as well. She busied herself with getting her clothes put back into order.

As much as he wanted to just watch her, he couldn't. So, reluctantly, Becker pulled himself back together as well.

When Abby got all of her clothes back into order, she ran her hand through her hair and then looked up at him. That would be when the tears started in earnest.

He reached out to her on instinct. "God, love, I've hurt you and I hate it."

"You haven't," she said, staying out of reach, because she knew if he touched her again, she couldn't do this. "What you're having to do is hurting me." She swallowed. "I love you," she mouthed silently, and then turned and started for the door as the tears made trails down her face.

Letting his hand fall to his side, Becker could only watch her leave.

Abby didn't look back as she left the room and then hurried out to the cars.

For better or worse, the game was now on.

 

Danny was waiting for Abby when she got there. He knew how badly this had to be hurting her, and she was a friend to him at this point -- he wanted to make sure she was all right.

When he saw her approach in tears, he knew she wasn't.

"Can you please take me home?" Her words were a bit shakier than she wanted them to sound.

"What happened?" he asked, concerned. "Did one of them do something to you?"

She shook her head. "Becker and I ... we're done."

Danny eyed her for a moment. "Oh, no. You didn't do what I think you did." He wasn't an idiot, after all, and he was really rather good at reading people. Her body language helped, too.

"Shagged the shit out of him one last time?" She ducked her head and nodded, trying to hide the tears that slipped down her face.

" _Why_ , Abby?" he asked. "Why let that traitor touch you again?"

Abby flinched and hoped Danny thought it was because she was ashamed of her behavior and not because he was calling Becker a traitor. "I loved him," she said miserably. She swallowed. "I wanted to make sure he had a really good reminder of what he was turning away from."

"I hope it was worth it. Because it looks like _you'll_ have a reminder for a while, too." Danny didn't mean his words to be cruel, he really didn't.

She lifted her head and there was no hiding the misery that was in her eyes. "I loved him, Danny, and now ... he chose her over us ... over me."

Danny's heart went out to her when he saw the look on her face. He reached out and pulled her into a hug. "He was a bloody fool for it."

Abby hugged him, hoping that all of this would be over soon because she hated people thinking badly of Becker.

"You may not have him, but you still have the rest of us," he said. "If you need anything... let us know."

She nodded. "Can you take me to my place? I've been staying at his and now ..."

"Yeah, of course," Danny said with a nod of his own. "Leave anything of yours there? I'll go fight him for it if you want."

She shook her head. "It's not ... I just want to go home." Because if Danny went at Becker it would be horrible and she wouldn't be able to keep the lie in place to protect him from Christine. Besides, if she moved the stuff she had at Becker's it would be like saying this was permanent and it wasn't.

It couldn't be.

"Okay," Danny said, finally stepping back from the hug. "Okay. Had to ask, though. Now, c'mon. Let's get you home."

She nodded and went to get into the passenger side of his truck, and realized she was going to be really sore tonight.

Danny saw the way she was moving. "Jesus, he did a number on you, didn't he? The bastard," he said as he got in on the driver's side.

"I asked for it," Abby murmured, looking out the window. "I gave as good back."

"Good," Danny said, starting the truck. "I hope he hurts just as badly as you're going to."

Abby hunched her shoulders forward. "He will. He is." Only, they wouldn't be together tonight to take care of each other.

"Good," Danny said, anger in his voice. "He deserves to hurt."

"I've never heard you so angry," Abby said softly.

"He _betrayed_ us," Danny said. "He switched sides as soon as it was beneficial to him."

She bit the inside of her cheek hard enough to draw blood. "I know. Believe me, no one is as aware of that as I am. What does she have to offer him that we don't?"

"Advancing his career," Danny said bitterly.

Abby leaned her forehead against the window. "I would think that sticking with Lester would be the better and more ethical choice."

"He apparently isn't as ethical as we thought he was."

God, this _hurt_. To hear people Becker cared about talking about him like this and having to _agree_ to protect him.

"There's apparently a lot that we were wrong about."

Danny couldn't say anything else, could only tighten his hands on the steering wheel and stifle a snarl.

Abby flinched. "It hurts," she said softly, because Danny was her friend and she would tell him when she was hurting.

"I know it does," Danny said as gently as he could manage, which wasn't exactly very. "You loved him and he went and did this."

The tears started again.

"I hate him for what he did to you," Danny said, glancing over at Abby and seeing the tears. "I thought you meant the world to him."

"I know," she whispered.

"I should kick his arse for what he's done to you."

"Not worth it, Danny."

"He hurt you and he betrayed you. He betrayed all of us. It'd be worth it to me."

"Someone might get hurt if you went after him because of me."

Danny glanced over at her. "You still love him, don't you?"

Abby sniffled. "It doesn't matter. He chose her over me."

"It matters, Abby. It matters."

Abby started to cry again.

Danny hated seeing her like this. "What can I do for you? Is there anything?" he asked, a little awkwardly.

"Don't hate me for loving him. I know it's going to take time just ..."

"I don't hate you," Danny said. "Him, yes. You, no."

"I suppose it would be silly for me to ask you not to hate him?"

"No, it'd be understandable, but I don't know why you'd ask it."

"Because right now it's so raw and painful and it hurts any way you look at it?"

Danny sighed. "I'm sorry, I'm not thinking of how difficult this must be for you."

"Because it hurts you, too," Abby said softly.

"It hurts like hell," he admitted.

"He was our friend."

"He was..." Danny agreed. "How could he do that to us?"

"I don't know, Danny," she whispered, hating that she couldn't tell him what she knew. "I don't know what to do now."

"We're here for you, Abby. We always will be."

"I know," she whispered. And then, because she knew it would be expected of her to say in this situation. "I thought he would be, too."

"I'll never forgive him for hurting you like this."

"I didn't realize it would hurt so much." It was something that was true no matter what viewpoint.

"It's never easy getting hurt by someone you love."

"Maybe he has a really good reason."

Danny just snorted.

"It seemed like an idea in my head," she said softly.

"He might have a reason," Danny allowed, more because he didn't want to upset Abby further than anything else. "But it will never be good enough for me to accept."

Abby nodded, closing her eyes. "This is a nightmare, Danny."

"Very good way of putting it."

She leaned against the window again, not sure what else to say. She just wanted this whole thing to be over.


	12. Chapter 12

Becker wasn't sure how much longer he could put up with Christine's presence in his place of work and in his life in general. He wasn't sure how much longer he could keep this godawful charade up. He wasn't sure about much of anything anymore, to be perfectly honest.

All he knew was that it was killing him to not have Abby with him at night. It wasn't even that he missed the shagging -- though that part of it was always nice -- he just missed the closeness, the cuddling, the way everything just seemed to make sense when he had her in his arms.

He couldn't even risk calling Abby, as much as he wanted to. He didn't want her to get caught talking to him, just in case.

But the worst part of it all, even worse than not having Abby to come home to at night, was the fact that he had to keep up appearances at work. He had to pretend that he was Christine Johnson's loyal man. All he wanted to do was figure out a way to get her the hell out of the ARC and preferably do so in a way that'd _keep_ her out.

So far, he hadn't had any luck. He knew he'd come up with something eventually, he was just starting to wonder if "eventually" was going to be later rather than sooner.

So it was a day like the past several days had been, full of keeping a bland, disinterested expression pasted on his face and his emotions locked down. He knew that letting his emotions out would only lead to tripping himself up and _that_ would only lead to Christine figuring out that he wasn't as loyal to her as she thought.

He would never be loyal to Christine, he told himself as he let himself into his flat. Never. His loyalties were to Lester and the team, no matter that the team hated him now. He had to keep reminding himself of his loyalties anyway, though, because reminding himself of who and what he was loyal to was one of the only ways he could keep going, keep putting one foot in front of the other and getting through the day.

He'd never realized how close he'd become to the rest of the team until they were no longer there for him, and it hurt. It hurt like hell, a pain that had only intensified over the past few days.

Becker shook his head, dropped his jacket on the sofa, and headed into the bedroom to change. It was still relatively early, but all he wanted to do was change into his pajamas and crash in bed. Dealing with Christine and her men was far more exhausting than he'd realized it'd be.

Once he'd changed, he trudged back out to the sofa. He couldn't sleep in his bed anymore. His bed meant memories of Abby that he was losing the strength to fight off.

No, the sofa was safer, he decided as he stretched out. Not as comfortable, but far safer.

And he'd take whatever safety he could get.

 

Abby hated this, she really did.

She missed Becker so much that it hurt when she thought about it. The problem was that she couldn't even call him because they didn't know how much Christine might be paying attention to all of them. So when she saw Becker she had to pretend to look right through him and it just about killed her not to be able to touch him. They both needed reassurance with everything going on, but she knew that Becker needed it the most. After all , she was the only one of the group that knew what was really happening.

Today she knew that she was dragging and she knew that she probably looked awful, too. But as she walked back to private area of the zoo she had gone back to work for, she couldn't bring herself to care too much about it. How could she when everything felt like an open wound?

She spent more time at the zoo than she did at home because it was too painful to be there. While it was true that she had spent more time at his flat than her own, they had spent some nice moments at her place and it hurt so much that he wasn't able to even stop by after work.

She knew that the others were worried and didn't know what to do to make things easier for her, but the simple matter was that she wouldn't be all right until Christine was ousted from the ARC and Becker was holding her close again.

As she leaned against the wall of the empty pen she had just spread with straw in case they got an emergency delivery of an animal that night, all she could think about was feeling Becker's arms around her.

 

Becker knew Abby had gone back to the zoo, had tried to avoid even visiting her there, but he couldn't help it. He had to see her. If Christine found out about this, she'd call it weakness. He could live with Christine thinking he'd had a moment of weakness. Not that he actually cared what Christine thought, but he had to deal with her until he could get her out of the ARC.

A little smooth-talking and Becker had been able to find out where Abby was working that particular night. He approached the pen and found the way back to where Abby was. He followed it quietly, approaching her almost hesitantly. Would she want to see him? He knew she wasn't angry with him, but would this reunion -- however temporary it might be -- just be too painful for her?

"Abby?" he called gently.

Abby lifted her head from where she was staring at the ground when she heard the familiar voice call her name. She stared at him for a moment, not sure if she was really seeing him or if she was imagining it.

"Becker?" She kept her voice low, and didn't use his first name because that was something she only did for him in private. She knew he liked keeping his first name a secret from everyone else.

"It's me, love," he said, his voice still quiet.

Tears were sliding down Abby's cheeks even as she threw herself into his arms.

He held her close and hugged her tightly. "I miss you," he whispered against her hair, his voice cracking. "I miss you so much."

Abby was clinging to him, her face nuzzling into his chest as she inhaled the scent that she had missed as part of her every day so much. "Me, too," she whispered. "Oh god, love."

"I'm trying," he managed. "I'm trying to get rid of her, but I don't know how to do it. But God, I'm trying. Please believe me."

She shook her head and then looked up into his face. Her eyes were filled with tears, but she smiled faintly. "Of course I believe you, love. I have never stopped believing you."

"Thank you for that." He ducked his head and kissed her, needing that contact. Craving it, as he'd craved it for the past few days.

From the way she was holding onto him and kissing him back, it was obvious that Abby had been craving the contact as well.

He pulled back but only enough to catch his breath for a moment. "God, I missed that."

"Me, too. I've missed everything about you. I work nights because I can't sleep and I have to do something so I don't show up at your flat."

"I haven't been sleeping well," he admitted, running a hand over her hair. "I haven't been sleeping well at all."

She shook her head. "I know that we always spent most of the nights at your flat, but mine has too many memories of us there, too."

"It hurts to remember," Becker said. "It hurts and I hate that it hurts."

"It hurts me, too," she reluctantly admitted, not wanting to add to his pain.

"I hate that I've lost everything but you because of what I've done." His voice shook slightly.

"You haven't really lost them, love," Abby said softly. "Once they know why you did what you did, they'll understand."

"What if they don't?"

"They will, love. They will."

"I hope you're right."

"I know they will as soon as they get the real story."

"Danny seemed pretty... unhappy with me."

"He's hurt because he cares about you. He'll come around when he finds out what you're really doing." She wasn't going to say that a lot of his anger came from her seeming so hurt.

"I hope so."

She looked up and lay a hand against his face. "He will."

He turned his face towards her touch. "I hate this," he murmured. "I hate it so much."

"I do, too," she said sadly. "But I have faith in you that you'll find a way to get her out."

"Thank you," he said softly. "At least someone still has faith in me."

"I will always have faith in you," Abby said fiercely.

"That means the world to me."

"You know what would mean the world to me right now?"

"What?"

"If you would kiss me again."

He smiled. "I think I can manage that." He ducked his head and brushed his lips against hers lightly before deepening the kiss quickly.

Abby pressed her body against him, making soft sounds in her throat as they kissed.

"God, I missed this," he mumbled against her lips.

"I miss this," she whimpered. "I miss _you_."

"I miss you, too," he said, nipping at her lower lip. "I miss being with you."

"Miss your hands touching me."

"I miss touching you," he said with a whimper. "I miss being able to run my hands over you."

"There's nothing stopping you from touching me right now."

He didn't need any more encouragement to slide his hand along her hip, sliding his fingers under the hem of her shirt.

Abby shivered slightly, pressing closer to him.

"I should stop," he murmured, even as he slid his hand up higher.

"Don't," she whimpered. "Please don't."

"I don't stop, things might happen."

"I don't mind." Yes, it would hurt later when she was alone, but she was with him now.

"I can't," he said, obviously torn about it.

"Why?" It was a valid question.

"Don't know what the zoo's security cameras cover, for one thing. For another... I'm going to miss you too much when I leave."

"Not in here," Abby said quietly. It was his second answer that made Abby stop and pull back. "You're right. I'm not being fair. I'm sorry."

"I don't care about me, though," Becker said. "I'm more concerned about you. Can you really handle this? Could you really handle something happening now and then us having to part ways?" He took a step towards her.

"Would it hurt like hell after you leave? Yes," Abby whispered. "Do I still want and need you no matter what? Yes." She wrapped her arms around her waist and looked down at the ground. "Would I put you through that on purpose?" She shook her head. "No."

"Oh, love..." He reached out to her. "I just don't want to be the one to hurt you, that's all. I promise, that's all."

"It just hurts so much not being able to touch you, love," she said quietly, still looking at the ground. "It kills me not being able to even call you."

"Every time my phone rings, I think for a second that maybe it's you," he confessed.

"I'm afraid to get you into trouble."

"I know, love. I know."

She backed away so that she could lean against the wall. "I would never forgive myself if I did anything to get you into trouble, no matter how much I want to hear your voice."

Becker took a step forward so he was in front of her, though still a few paces away. "It won't be much longer. It can't be. I can't take it much longer. I need you, Abby. God, I need you."

"I need you, too, love," she said softly, lifting her head to look up at him. "I need you so much that it hurts."

He reached out to her. "Then let's be together," he said softly. "For a little while, let's be together."

She moved into his arms even as she asked, "Are you sure? I don't want to hurt you even more."

"I'm sure," he said, pulling her close and kissing her.

Abby let her arms move to encircle him, pressing close and kissing him back.

"Love you," he mumbled against her lips. "God, so much."

"Me, too," she whimpered. "Very much."

"I don't want this moment to end." His hands were sliding impatiently up under her shirt.

"Me either," she agreed, her own hands moving along his back.

He shivered at her touch.

She slid her hands down his back and into the waistband of his pants.

He whimpered softly. "Need you."

"Then take me, because I need you, too."

"I'll never get tired of hearing you say you need me."

"I will always need you, love. Always."

"And I'll always need you."

She tugged his shirt out of his pants and ran her hands along his skin.

He shivered at her touch. "God, I missed that."

"Need you," she whimpered, her hands sliding along his skin.

He shivered again and ducked his head to kiss her fiercely, hungrily.

Abby melted against him, whimpering in her throat. She loved it when he kissed her like that and tonight even more so.

"We are both way too dressed," he mumbled against her lips. "We need to fix that. Now."

"Yes," she groaned. "Right now."

He just grinned and tugged her shirt up impatiently.

While he was doing that and her shirt came off, she was hastily undoing his black pants.

Becker dropped Abby's shirt to the ground and shrugged his own shirt off.

Abby was making soft whimpering sounds as she tried to get the rest of his clothes off of him.

It wasn't long before their clothes were on the ground around them. Becker pulled Abby closer against him and kissed her soundly.

Abby wrapped her arms around him, pressing her body closer to his as she kissed him back.

"God, I missed this," he muttered, running a hand along her back.

"I've missed you, love, so damn much."

"But I'm here now," he said, kissing her hungrily. "I'm here."

"Mine," she murmured, tugging gently on his hair. "Love you so much."

He whimpered softly. "Yours."

"Please, love, I need you. I need to be yours again -- even for this short time."

"You're always mine," he said, pushing her up against a wall suddenly.

"Show me," Abby's words were a soft challenge, but there was also the smallest hint of uncertainty in them.

"Gladly." Becker lifted her up against the wall, pushing her legs apart and fitting himself between them.

Abby whimpered, pressing her body close to him.

He shifted his hips slightly and entered her, stifling a whimper.

"Oh god, yes," Abby gasped softly, closing her eyes as she felt him within her. "Needed you so much."

"Missed this," he whispered, burying his face against her neck. "God, missed this."

She wrapped her arms around him. "Yes. I missed this, too."

"We need this," he said, scraping his teeth against her neck. "We _need_ it."

She moaned, tilting her head back when she felt his teeth. "Yes," she agreed. "We really do."

"We can't not have contact of some kind."

She shook her head. "We're connected and we need the contact." Yes, she knew it was dangerous for him, but it hurt her to be away from him too long.

"Even if it won't last very long, we still need the contact."

She nodded this time. "Yes, god yes." She lifted her hips against his.

He groaned quietly, biting the inside of his cheek to stifle a louder noise.

"They won't hear us in here," she murmured against his ear. "I haven't set up the observation mics yet."

"Don't want to risk anything."

She nodded in understanding, burying her face in his chest for a moment.

"And I hate having to restrain myself with you."

"You don't have to, love, but I know you're worried that you were followed." Not that anyone would be able to get past the guys at the front of the complex.

"I don't want to get you in trouble."

"I won't get into trouble, love," she murmured. "Trust me."

"You're sure?"

She nodded, lifting herself against him again.

He groaned softly and bucking his hips against her.

"I love you. God, I love you so much."

"Love you more."

"Have needed this ... need you so much."

"Need you, too." He bit her neck lightly.

Abby moaned when he did that, her fingers playing in his hair.

"God, I love when you do that," he muttered against her neck, biting harder.

"And I love that!"

His response was to bite even harder, almost desperately.

Abby whined softly in her throat, squeezing herself around him.

"God, I love that sound," he gasped.

"You're the only one who has ever caused me to make it."

"Good to know," he said, scraping his teeth against her neck again.

She whined, pressing herself against him to take him deeper.

His only response was to groan quietly and buck hard against her.

"Love you."

"Love you, too." He bit back a groan. "God, love you."

Abby dug her fingers into his shoulders, arching against him.

"God yes," he gasped. "Keep doing that." It was pain and pleasure at the same time.

"More," she whimpered, repeating her actions.

"Whatever you want, love. Whatever you want." He bucked his hips harder against her.

Abby moaned softly, her fingers running through his hair.

"Love that," he said. "Your fingers in my hair... God, perfect."

She lifted against him. "I've missed feeling you like this, love."

"I've missed it, too. I miss feeling you reacting to me."

"I will always, always react to you."

"One of these days, we'll be together again."

She nodded. "I know we will," she said, whimpering against his neck.

"Hopefully soon, because I can't take much more of this."

She wasn't going to tell him how much this was killing her, because he didn't need to be made to feel any worse than he already did. "Soon, god please let it be soon."

"I'm doing the best I can, love, I promise."

"Oh god, love, I know you are. I know you are."

He fell silent for a moment, lifting his head so he could kiss her soundly.

Abby whimpered against his mouth, tangling her hands in his hair so that she could keep the kiss going.

His only reaction was to thrust harder and deepen the kiss further.

Abby squirmed against him, her tongue tangling with his.

"Perfect," Becker mumbled.

She pressed against him, her legs tightening around his waist.

"Don't want this to end," he mumbled.

"Me, either."

"But at least we have right now."

She nodded. "For now we can be where we belong.'

"Together." He bucked hard against her, any sense of restraint pretty much gone.

Abby whimpered, begging him without words to continue going like he was. She needed him and didn't care that she would be sore later.

Becker kept up the pace, knowing he wouldn't last much longer but needing to just go at her. He needed the memories of it for later.

With hands and mouth, Abby encouraged him to keep going. She didn't want this to end right now, wanted to remain locked with him for a little longer.

"Love you," he whimpered against Abby's mouth. "Always will."

"Me, too," she assured him. She squirmed against his body. "The floor, Hilary," she whispered into his ear. "More ability to move like we need to."

With her whispering in his ear like that, he'd have agreed to anything. Instead, he just nodded and pulled back so he could pull her down to the floor with him.

Abby rolled, pulling him on top of her and arching up against him.

And just like that he was moving against her again, not even bothering to be careful.

She whimpered, lifting against him, not trying to be careful, either. It felt like it had been too long since they were together.

"Need you," Becker whispered urgently. "God, I need you."

"I need you, too," Abby said softly. "I always need you."

"I'll never not need you."

"I'm yours, love. I will _always_ be yours."

"You promise?"

"I promise."

"Good."

She arched against him, tangling her legs with his.

"Mine," he murmured, kissing her fiercely. " _Mine_."

"Oh god, yes," she shivered, her nerves standing on edge as they always did when he claimed her.

"No matter what, you're mine."

"Always," she whimpered.

"And anybody who tries to take you from me is going to have a _big_ problem to deal with."

She nodded, arching up against him. "No one can."

He loved hearing that. It hit something in him, soothed something that was sorely out of place at the moment.

"I love you so much. So very much."

"Love you, too." He let out a moan that was louder than he'd have liked; he was too into her and being with her to care about it overmuch, though.

It was a good thing for his worries that Abby was making noises almost as loud as his.

It was, because it allowed him to finally let go of those worries.

"Please," she whimpered, jerking up hard against him.

He was happy to oblige, bucking hard against her.

"Yes," she whimpered. "Hilary, yes."

"God, I love when you whimper like that."

She squirmed beneath him, whimpering his name again.

"Oh, yes. That's my girl."

"Yours," she whimpered.

"Forever mine."

She nodded, her eyes slightly glazed as she lifted up to him. "Forever."

"I love that look in your eyes," he said with a breathless grin. "It tells me I'm doing exactly what I’m trying to do."

She nodded. "And what is that?"

"Make this memorable."

"You always do."

"And I always will."

Her fingers dug lightly into his shoulders as she lifted her hips against him. "And no matter how long it takes to get the ARC back, I will always be yours."

He inhaled sharply at the feel of her fingers biting into his shoulders. "I love you, Abby."

"I love you, Hilary. Forever and always."

"God, I miss hearing that."

"I miss being able to say it."

"You'll be able to say it again soon."

"Just as long as you remember I mean it no matter what."

"I will. I promise." His voice was tight.

She tugged at his hair.

His response was an incoherent groan.

"Love me, Hilary."

"I do," he gasped, moving frantically against her. "Oh, God, I do."

Abby tightened herself around him, tugging at his hair again.

Becker didn't even try to hold out; he came with a shudder and a cry of her name.

That reaction caused Abby to squirm against him, before she was also coming and whimpering his name.

"Oh, holy shit," was all he could say. "That was... intense."

Abby nodded, her arms tightening around him.

"I don't want to go."

"I don't want you to go, either."

"I can stay a few more minutes."

She pulled him closer, closing her eyes.

"I hate this. The having to leave. The not being near you. All of it."

"I don't like it, either, love." Her voice was soft. "But we have no other choice, I know."

"I miss being with you at night."

"I miss you, too. I don't sleep as well without you."

"Soon. I promise. Soon." He'd do whatever it took.

She nodded, kissing his shoulder. "I know."

He sighed. "Memories of you is what's going to hold me through."

She swallowed hard, not wanting to cry and make this harder on him. "I love you, Hilary."

"I love you, too." He sighed. "I should... I should go now. Before I throw it all away and ask you to come home with me again."

She squeezed him tightly and then reluctantly let go of him. "You can't do that." She hated that, hated it so much, but it was what he needed to do.

He pulled away, got up, and dressed slowly. He couldn't help looking at Abby as he got ready.

She was also getting dressed and when she was finished, she met his eyes.

"I promise this won't last forever," was all he said.

She smiled faintly, trying to make him feel better about this. "I know, love. I know."

"I refuse to let it."

This time, she has to close her eyes because the tears are starting to build. She finally opened her eyes and looked at him again. "You... you... it will take ..." She swallowed again. "I'll be here when it ends no matter when."

"I hate seeing you hurting like this," Becker said quietly. "I hate knowing that I'm helping cause it."

"No," she said firmly. "No. You didn't put us in this position, Christine did. You are not helping cause me pain. The only one causing either one of us to be hurting like we are is that bitch."

"But I'm playing along with her..."

"To get her out of there and get the rest of us back where we belong."

"I can only hope everyone understands once they know why I've done this."

"They will, love. We'll make sure they know the whole story."

"But as long as you don't hate me, that's all that matters."

"I could never and will never hate you," she growled fiercely.

He whimpered. "God, that growl's hot."

She looked at him. "And the words are true, too."

"I know." He smiled reassuringly. "But that growl just kinda short-circuited my brain for a second with how hot it was."

She blushed.

"You seem surprised."

"I didn't know I could short-circuit you with just a growl."

"Well, now you do."

"I'll keep this in mind for the future."

"Please do." He gave her a sad smile.

Her heart broke a little at the sadness. "We'll get through this, love. Somehow, we will."

"Thank you for having such faith in me on this," Becker said softly.

"I will always have faith in you."

"Even so... thank you," he said, reaching out to touch her face gently. "It's what's going to keep me going."

She leaned into his touch. "I love you and I believe in you."

"Thank you," he whispered. "I... I should go."

"Hilary," she whispered. "I know we can't talk to each other on the phone or anything... but when you get home, call my mobile. Let it ring once and I'll know you're okay. If it rings twice, that means I'm coming after your ass with the cavalry."

Becker just nodded. "All right."

She reached to take his hand and squeezed it lightly. "We may not be able to be seen together, but you are damn sure not alone."

"I know I'm not," he said, squeezing her hand in return.

"Just remember that," she whispered.

"I will."

She nodded, not able to say anything else or she was going to break down and he didn't need to see that.

Becker looked at Abby for a long moment before stepping back. Without saying goodbye -- because if he had, he never would've gone -- he turned and left.

When the door clicked shut behind him, Abby let herself slide to the floor and bury her face in her knees. She couldn't stop the tears from coming, but she was glad she had kept them at back until Becker had left. She knew that this was hard enough on him and she wasn't about to make it harder by him seeing her fall apart.

But god, she felt broken without him.


End file.
